Uncle Harry Item

Kevin and Teresa were gracious enough to obtain this metallic item from Uncle Harry's place for me at my request. We all know what it is, but I don't really know what to call it, or where it came from. The question is does anyone know the answers to these questions? Where did it come from? Who made it? I think we need to find the answers to these questions. Ohio Heffernans: make it happen.

Movie Reviews

So this past week I've been on vacation, and since the local theater has $4 matinees for first-run movies, I decided to go see two.

As a Heffernan, I'm addicted to the Alien legacy of movies. Unfortunately, nothing comes close to Alien and Aliens. Alas, the most recent incarnation of the old favorite is no different. While it combines the Predator and Alien lines, I felt that it did not live up to even the first AvP installment. The movie was slow at the start, and frenzied at the finish. I will say that when characters died, as so many did, the writers got quite creative with how those characters were to expire. As long as you go into this movie with a proper attitude - i.e. wanting a healthy portion of wanton death and destruction, with a side of stupidity, you'll enjoy it. Expecting anything more would be uncivilized. I'd say this one is maybe as good as "Bloodsport". Don't go see it unless you really like the Alien franchise.

The next movie I saw is also a sequel, but a sequel of a very good movie - National Treasure. Book of Secrets followed the same general plot and theme of the first National Treasure movie - a big treasure that has to be found following specific clues left by Masons while not getting killed by the bad guys who want the treasure for themselves. Book of Secrets has a simple plot that is very well done, combining history, action, and locations with conspiracy theories. It was a very entertaining movie and kept me involved but it's not nearly as intellectual as the first National Treasure. While Nick Cage is the star of Book of Secrets, the actor playing his sidekick Riley Poole (Justin Bartha), steals the screen. Make sure you don't miss any of his lines, because he has some of the best 1-liners since Chevy Chase in Caddyshack. All in all, I enjoyed this movie and rate it as better than "The Mummy 2", but not quite "Die Hard 2".

Reincarnation?

Look at this picture. Who do you think this is? What if I told you this was taken prior to this player becoming a QB for Notre Dame. Do you see it now? Could this be a stock photo of Joe Montana in his high school days? Actually this is Joe's oldest son Nate Montana! Look at that guy - he is a CLONE of his father!!! In any case, Notre Dame invited Nate to join the football team as an invited walk-on next season. Nate will be hitting the practice field for the Irish in 2008.

First off, I think this is really cool. Notre Dame is a special place, and this is a classic example of the often talked about "Notre Dame Family." In light of our #1 incoming recruiting class, Weis still has the class to find a place for the son of a legendary former player. I hope any recruits still on the fence about Notre Dame take notice!

Next, and I think I may need some Dad input on this, his situation seems eerily similar to his father's coming into ND. He is a modestly rated high school QB. He plays for a great school, but hasn't cracked the starting spot. He comes to Notre Dame with no expectations, and will be a backup QB unless he gets some fortunate opportunity. Isn't that how his dad got his chance? I wouldn't bet on it, but I think we may someday see Nate Montana take the field for the Irish in a meaningful situation. I'll leave it at that.

By the way, this was the only non-helmeted picture of Joe I could find from his college days as a comparison. But I don't think anyone would even need to compare!

Christmas Gift

If anyone loves me, they'll try to get me this for Christmas:

CLICK HERE

I Have a New Hero

Check out this story


Not only did this guy openly mock authority, he also consumed an unhealthy amount of alcohol. He is my hero, and I hope he doesn't die.

Uh, Oh... Huckabee Hits 22%

I'll admit it. I am a registered Republican. I vote a straight ticket. I haven't missed an election since I turned 18. Democrats eat babies. Okay, that last one is only a rumor, but the rest are verified. So I read with dismay the headline article on CNN.com today.

New poll shows big shake up in GOP race

My reasons for electing a Republican President are completely selfish. Democrats are bad for health care. They cut Medicare payments, try to shake up the health care system, and pander to lawyers who have litigated medicine to the point where it takes doctors longer to do the paperwork than it does to actually see and treat the patient. See my previous post about John Edwards if you want to know what I'm talking about.

What does this mean for Ali and I? After 7 and 10 years of respective training to be doctors, we will work harder and make less money with a Democrat in office. Some of my colleagues have even suggested that groups will freeze hiring as the election draws closer to see what happens. That's great since next September through December will be the time I am interviewing for jobs!

So why am I afraid of a strong Republican candidate like Huckabee? Because the guy is crazy - and unelectable! If the GOP nominates Huckabee to run for Prez, you can all but hand the election to the Dems. What is so bad about Huckabee? Let's take a look. In fairness, the guy does have one redeemable asset. I included that below as well. Hey, Fair and Balanced!

Cons
"I do not necessarily buy into the traditional Darwinian theory, personally."
This is the universal code for Creationism! If the guy believes dinosaurs lived alongside man 6000 years ago when God created the universe, what will he believe when presented with other important, yet inconvenient FACTS???

"I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk."
Okay, not really politically correct. Half of America will hate you, while the other half will silently applaud you. I think this may be a deal breaker as far as an election. The media will be all over this, because they pander to the left.

"If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague."
Uh, what? Should we close down Manhatten and turn it into a maximum security prison/quarantine zone? Maybe Snake Pliskin can make a visit! This is another irrational stance that he refuses to back away from.

"Had I granted his commutation, then there would have been no supervision at all. I wasn't comfortable with that."
Huckabee got a taste of GOP medicine with this repeat of the old Willie Horton ad Bush Sr. used against Dukakis. This one will not go away, but it appears he didn't do anything wrong. I think anyone who has ever been a governor has a few people that got parole and went on to commit another violent crime.

Pros

Chuck Norris

Love and Hate

Today everyone has the distinct pleasure of hearing me vent on two separate topics, Nicholas Cage (who I love) and the upcoming mortgage bailout (which I hate).

First, lets start with Nicholas Cage. Simply put, this guy rocks. His movies are not Oscar worthy, they just kick ass, and keep you glued to your sit for 90 minutes. I just rented Next and loved it, although the ending was a bit lame, but that wasn't Cages fault. Also, his National Treasure movies are also awesome. If you haven't seen them you need to check them out. I love this guy and his movies.

For details regarding my hatred of people who are foolish enough to think that they could afford a $300,000 house with an income of $60,000 please check out the replies to the following link (near the bottom, I am cheffern):

click here to read why I hate stupid people


I was just talking with a co-worker about this topic, and I created the following example: So, one day you're sitting on your couch and your phone rings. Someone says to you, "Congratulations! You have been found eligible to purchase a brand new Porsche! You don't have to put any money down and the first year all you have to pay is $100 a month. However, after the first year the monthly bill might adjust, but that won't happen for a year."

The logical person would say to themselves, "wait a minute, a Porsche costs a lot of money. I don't think I could really ever afford one. In addition, what happens if in the future the price adjusts to a level I can't afford? This doesn't sound like such a great deal after all."

However, America is full of idiots who ignored all reason and logic and went ahead and bought that Porsche. Now the government is going to bail out a percentage of these folks. Furthermore, guess where the highest levels of foreclosures are? Florida and Ohio. Also, guess where Presidential elections are won and lost? Florida and Ohio. I bet $10 that the big issue come next November will be mortgage bailouts for residents of the Sunshine and Buckeye states. I love America, but sometimes I hate it as well.

World's Greatest Comments

It was announced yesterday that Washington has decided to retain Tyrone Willingham as head football coach for, at least, 1 more year. Here's the link to the article:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3142815

However, I would just skip the article and go straight to reading the comments as they are hilarious. Basically, it's a bunch of UW fans and ND fans jawing back-and-forth, with the UW fans trying to rationalize the decision and dancing around the fact that the only reason Willingham is still employed is because UW didn't want the same heat ND took when it canned him after 3 years. And some of the UW comments are fantastic, like one commenter trying to defend a statement that UW had a more difficult schedule than ND this year (they didn't) by citing an article from June 2007 - three months before the season began! Good stuff...

At first read, I thought this was real. I was getting pretty pumped for a Thundercats movie, especially with Hugh Jackman and a scantily clad Jessica Simpson. It still made me laugh that Seth Green was going to be the voice of Snarf!

Make sure you read the fine print!!

I'm Not Saying, I'm Just Saying...

I believe it is my God-given duty to point out the hypocrisies of the sports media when it comes to Notre Dame. Here's a few samples from the past couple days:

• Florida has had four (4) players transfer this season: backup quarterback Bryan Waggener, sophomore receiver Jarred Fayson, freshman running back Bo Williams and sophomore defensive end Trent Pupello. Did you see this headline on any sports sites? Probably not. When Notre Dame had a few transfers early in the year (so that players didn't have to lose a year of eligibility), the sporting world gushed of turmoil within the program.
• UCLA recently fired head coach Karl Dorrell after a 5-year record of 35-27 (.565). I guess the difference between classless, irrelevant bigotry and business as usual is 2 years.
• Nebraska recently fired head coach Bill Callahan after a 4-year record of 27-22 (.551). No comments here about Callahan not getting a fair shake by Nebraska. If you were to read the articles, you'd be led to believe Callahan had been eating babies over in Lincoln.
  

I know I should be accustomed to such biased reporting at this point, but it just never ceases to amaze me. Notre Dame does something and they're skewered, College X does the same and it's either glossed over or even praised. I know it's never going to change and I know there's nothing I can do about it, but it will drive me crazy to the end of my days.

I guess another way of looking at this is that Notre Dame is held to a different, higher standard than everyone else. And although this can be annoying at times, I guess at the end of the day it's what everyone should want for their alma mater and what every other university in the land is desperately aspiring to be...

So It's Not Just Us

You think sportswriters across the country will cry foul when Washington fires Ty Willingham?

http://www.udubdish.com/story/2007/11/26/0512/5159

The reasons put forth here are, in my mind, the exact same reasons for which Notre Dame canned his ass. I guess the big difference is Notre Dame is Notre Dame and Washington is, well, Washington.

This season started with Notre Dame going 0-2 and Washington 2-0. I remember reading the articles about how Notre Dame was probably missing Tyrone right about now. Well, from that point on the Huskies finished the season 2-8. Notre Dame didn't fair much better, finishing 3-7, I'm just pointing out Willingham's two greatest assets - smoke and mirrors...

Bo Jackson All-American

I look at ESPN from time to time and today saw a great article that I actually read and enjoyed. It is all about Bo Jackson and what's become of the once most-hyped man in America.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=bojackson

I never knew half this stuff about Bo Jackson, and found the article extremely well-written (any article that references Tecmo Super Bowl has to be good). I thought it quite refreshing that while Bo knows life-after-sports, Bo also knows how to keep his life-after-sports private. For instance, he lives in Colin's hometown of Chicago and passes the time by lacquering his hunting arrows and cooking up something good for dinner

Man, I remember the glory days of Bo:

Mother F#$&er

Over the years I've read a lot of disparaging articles about Notre Dame. This has been especially true over the past several years with the fallout from the Tyrone Willingham firing. However, a recent article I read today over at si.com takes the cake. Here's the link:

Out of his league

In the past, I had enjoyed reading Stewart Mandel's college football blogs and mailbags. He seemed pretty impartial, although he could be pretty sarcastic at times. But this article really should be titled, "I F#$%ing Hate Notre Dame" with a subtitle of, "I Hope They Never Win Another Game Again and the Virgin Mary is Raped By a Tiger".

I mean, I know its the cool thing to do to rip Notre Dame, but this is nothing more than a smear campaign. A couple of my favorite lines:

Between the on-field battering he's taken and the constant yo-yoing with Sharpley, Clausen's already fragile, freshman confidence is presumably shattered.

Oh, really, Stewart? Have you been in touch with Jimmy Clausen recently? Because the one bright spot in last week's loss to Air Force was Clausen's play in the second half.

Lord only knows how much money NBC has lost on its investment.

Ugh...

I can't even go on. Just read the article if you want to get really angry and break something...

UPDATE!
How did I miss this gem that also happens to be the first sentence of the article?

Let's start with a fairly obvious realization: Charlie Weis is a terrible college football coach.

I agree that Weis is having a bad year (which Weis himself has admitted on many occasions), but those same upperclassmen that Weis had his first two years stunk when they played for Willingham. Does Mandel really think that had Willingham (or any other coach) been in charge, Notre Dame would've gone to back-to-back BCS bowls the past two years? Because I sure don't. If I recall, at the start of the 2005 season most college football "experts" predicted Notre Dame would start the season 0-6. Weis took them to the Fiesta Bowl. And he did it again the following year. That's a terrible coach?

Best T-Shirt Ever

With all the despair surrounding Notre Dame football this season, there hasn't been much buildup to our traditional rivalry games. I really miss that, but I can live vicariously through other programs!

Until today, I felt that the Catholics vs. Convicts T-shirt was the best in the history of college football. Hell, I still have mine in a drawer waiting for a final wearing if we ever play Miami again in a meaningful game. That shirt took a heated rivalry and elevated it to another level. Today, it has been dethroned. Kansas is having it's best season ever. Missouri isn't too shabby either. These traditional rivals play this weekend, and a new shirt has caused an explosion between the two teams' fans. I have to say I wasn't aware of this rivalry, but these guys DESPISE each other.

Follow this link to read a bit about the history depicted on this shirt, and the bad blood it has stirred up. The cliff notes version: Missouri was a slave state in the Civil War, Kansas was a free state. Missouri led a raid into Lawrence looting every business, killing a few hundred people, and burning the city to the ground. So the new T-shirt from Mizzou fans has a scene depicting the raid with Lawrence in flames with the classic "Scoreboard" underneath!!! If that's not enough, the slogan on the back of the shirt taken from that raid reads: "Raise the Black Flag and Ride Hard Boys. Our Cause is Just and Our Enemies Many."

RIP Ford Taurus

She was a great vehicle, and Thanksgiving won't be the same as Liz and I won't have to hold our breath for 5 hours praying the Taurus doesn't break down on our way to Cincinnati and back home. She was reliable, save for that pesky electrical issue that somehow disabled the clock and rear tail lights. She was only driven by grandma and grandpa Trinkley for a few months, to my recollection, but every time it rained the Taurus smelled just like them. I'll miss that car.

Why Do We Suck This Year?

Many Irish fans around the world, including some from this family, are giving up on Notre Dame football. Now, I agree that this season is over - and has been since we lost to Michigan. However, I wouldn't say the program is dead, and I wouldn't say next year is a loss too! This is a rough topic, but I'll take a stab at it. I would like to take a realistic look at Weis and the future of ND football. My main point is that this is a complex issue, that does not have a single cause. Many in the media are putting all the blame on Weis, but it's not so simple.

First, let me just say that Weis is not going anywhere this season or next. It has been well documented that he loves ND and he is not a quitter. Therefore, he will not resign. Also, despite what some may say on this board, no way would ND shell out $21 million or so to buy out his contract! Do you know how many students that money would put through school? ND gave Weis that buyout to ensure that they would not fire him, and make sure everyone knew they would not. They wanted to make it perfectly clear that the musical coaching chairs played during Davie, O'Leary and Willingham were over. Anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional.

Next, lets place blame where it is due. Weis has done a poor job of preparing his team to play throughout the season. I think everyone would agree that we should be better than 1-9 with the talent on this team. Is this because Weis is "the worst coach in the universe?" Of course not. I would place the blame clearly upon his lack of college experience - not upon his lack of head coaching experience. Weis is a great X's and O's guy. He is a straight shooter who says what he means. He is an exceptional team manager as a head coach should be. This is evidenced by his assistant coach hirings, recruiting, work as a spokesperson for the team and University, and other non-game related endeavors. Where his problem has been is being able to communicate and enact his plans with young college kids. His repeated press conference admissions show this. From not using full contact in drills, to not effectively communicating in-game adjustments to the team, to describing the disparity between practice prep and game performance. He skated by his first two years because he had an upperclassman heavy roster that had game experience at the college level. This year not so lucky.

That gets us to the talent issue. Yes, NBC pointed out all the high school All-Americans on our roster, but that means nothing! I'm not going to rehash all the stats about the class of 2003 recruits remaining or the playing time of our O-line before the season started. Those are in other articles all over. What I will say is this... A majority of our players are young kids 18 and 19, playing for their first meaningful minutes this year. Is some of of this Ty's fault? Yes, he left us with this experience gap. Is some of this Charlie's fault? Yes, he acknowledged coaching mistakes at each juncture of the season. Is some of this Kevin White's fault? Yes, what the heck is up with the front half of our schedule? It was brutal, and did not help this young team grow and mature. As a result, the season began to snowball, which is understandable given their youth. Could Holtz or Ara have gotten more out of this team? Sure, maybe another win or two, but this is not a Bowl team, not with our level of experience and that killer schedule. We need to accept that. By the way, the only teams we lost to in the 2 years prior: Mich State, USC, OSU, Michigan, LSU. Give me a break! No way Lou could have gotten more out of those teams!

Charlie Weis is not the next Knute Rockne. He is a good coach with tons of potential, but a lack of experience at the college level. Every year, he is learning and his mistakes will decrease. He'll get it soon enough, and then look out! He has proven to be a master at some of the intangibles that come with being head coach of Notre Dame. After three years, he has molded the team in his image, and meets the pressure cooker of his job head-on with excitement. The pressure that got to Davie and Willingham doesn't phase Weis at all. He will turn this team around, and it will begin next season. We will have talent AND experience EVERYWHERE, and I know Weis will take a more traditional college coaching approach, born by 3 years of experience. Yes, he is learning on the job, but he has the tools at heart to be a great coach.

2008 Prediction: 7-5 with a trip to the Gator Bowl.

I'm Out

This team is dead to me...

McAwesome

Yesterday I had a McGriddle for breakfast and a McRib for dinner. Both hail from McDonalds, and both are delicious. If I repeated this menu today I would probably throw up, but yesterday it was heavenly.

Thanksgiving Approaches

So I was looking through Ian, Steph, and Zoe's Halloween photos and I noticed that Ian had quite a bit of facial hair. This led me to the belief that he is secretly growing another mustache for Thanksgiving. So I ask, should I stop shaving until sweet Turkey Day comes along. You know I only need the slightest motivation to kick this plan into action. What do you all say, bring back the 'stache?

Navy is part of the military?

So I was reading about the ND-Navy game this weekend, and found this gem of stupidity written by a student at Columbia. She is either a foreigner or the dumbest person on that campus, and I feel she's pulled the collective intelligence of Columbia University down to the level of a Rutgers University.

Check out this article: http://www.columbiaspectator.com/node/26470

I can understand not realizing that the Citadel is not a military institution; but not knowing that the Naval Academy (more commonly referred to as "Navy") is affiliated with the military is crazy. And not expecting that the Navy will train you to be a soldier to fight, and possibly die, for America is juvenile. Navy trains its cadets (not students) to be officers, leaders, and men (or the occasional woman). They are not giving away a 4-year education/training program for free to any yahoo who walks in off the street.

I love America and am proud of its fighting forces. But the opinions and ideas of some Americans, and their innate fear of the military, simply baffles me. The opinion and lack of knowledge of Idris Leppala makes me laugh and sick at the same time. Remind me not to send any of my children to Columbia.

I love Halloween

I was in Target this weekend and almost peed my pants when I saw the newest display: Boo Berry, Count Chocula, and Franken Berry! I bought myself a package of Franken Berry. I don't think any kids actually want these cereals anymore, just us 20 and 30 year olds who remember the good ol' days of super sugar cereals. I can't wait for breakfast tomorrow morning...

1984

Last night I had the distinct pleasure of basking in the awesomeness known as Van Halen. They recently reunited with David Lee Roth, and replaced their old bassist with Wolfgang Van Halen, Eddie's son. They played only their hits from 72-84, but few seemed to care because what they played was amazing. Panama brought the house down, and when they closed with Jump I nearly cried. I think I could listen to Eddie Van Halen play guitar for days on end. If you get a chance to attend one of their concerts in your area do yourself a favor and go; all of their flavors are guaranteed to satisfy.

1 - 5, Baby!

I never thought I would be so excited to say that, but a win is a win is a win. Add in Stanford (Stanford! 41-point underdog!) knocking off Southern Cal at home, ending their 35-game home winning streak, and losses by Miami and Florida and it was quite a nice little Saturday.

I find it curious that Notre Dame is suddenly no longer front-page news on espn.com and si.com. First five weeks of the season and every loss was headline news. But beat a 4-1 (3-0, Pac 10) UCLA team at home and they disappear. Funny how that works... I know all the "experts" will say that the only reason ND won was because UCLA played a back-up, walk-on quarterback, but aren't you supposed to take advantage of an opportunity when it's presented? Notre Dame took care of business. Besides, it's not their fault Karl Dorrell would rather keep a red shirt on a stud freshman quarterback than win a game. That was his decision, not Notre Dame's...

T-minus 10 days

So I was thinking to myself about things I had to do over the next few days and what my work weeks look like coming up, and I realized that I'm taking off two days next week for Bridget's (and Bryan's) wedding. I then immediately said "Holy Crap" out loud. To which my Peruvian colleague working next to me said "Por que vijiste 'Holy Crap'?" Since I had no idea what he said (something about holy crap), I assumed he was asking me why I'd said Holy Crap. To which I told him I'm taking off two days next week for my sister's wedding, and I've got way too much work to get done before then.

Hans Schwarz, my Peruvian colleagued noted above (yeah, I thought he was German,too!), told me not to worry so much, I'm on Nationwide and will have plenty of time. Hans said it right kids. I'm looking forward to this bash for many reasons, but mostly because it's always a good time hanging out with the family, drinking some adult beverages, and seeing the new nieces you guys keep bringing home. (we will note speak of watching Notre Dame, because that it always a fiasco)

However, I'm also quite excited to have Bryan in the family; I'm hoping that there will finally be someone lower on the totem then I and Ian will persecute him instead of me. This is most likely a pipe dream, as Ian and Colin always make fun of me because I don't get offended (I always was the good-natured Heffernan. I was confident in being the best looking, most athletic, and most humble of all the Heffernan boys, so I knew anything Colin and Ian ever said was just their way of venting their jealousy.) Anywho, it will be nice to party to the wee hours of Saturday morning, dancing like fools all night (Ted will have to dance, Ava will make him!), and drinking loads of beer on dad's tab. Thanks in advance, dad! And then after the wedding is done, and everyone goes home, dad can finally start saving up his money for that boat he always wanted (I'm trying not to laugh out loud).

In short, I think it's gonna be a great weekend. We'll get to see each other, be in a wedding, be happy for Bridget and Bryan, and then watch the Reds lose to the Cubs in order to allow the Cubs to win the pennant instead of the Brewers (I hate the Brewers). See you guys in t-minus 10 days!

Smurf Yeah

In honor of this weeks blog poll, I give you the Family Guy Smurf clip.

It's Always Sunny

If you aren't watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" on Thursday nights on FX, you should be. It is quite possibly the funniest show on TV right now. I think if you watch one episode you will know exactly what I am talking about. Do yourself a favor, check it out.

Worst Weekend Ever?

When football season rolls around in the fall, my thoughts obviously turn toward my favorite teams: Notre Dame, the Cincinnati Bengals, and my fantasy team Kneel Before Zod. A great weekend consists of wins by the Irish, Bengals and a fantasy victory. Unfortunately, those weekends are few and far between. More often, one or two of these teams go down in flames. However, usually I can take solace in one of them pulling off the win. This weekend may go down as the worst in football history!

Penn State 31 Notre Dame 10
Let's start off with Notre Dame. Coming off an embarrassing home opener loss to Georgia Tech, we go into Happy Valley and lay another egg. Egg as in ZERO offensive TD's. Yes, after two games, Notre Dame has failed to score a TD on offense. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We go to a desperate Michigan next week, with little hope of success. Michigan has at least scored at TD! Notre Dame has no hope of running the spread attack that has brought the Wolverines to their worst start in school history. I see more tears.

Maineville 88.5 Kneel Before Zod 52.5
My fantasy team is even worse off than Notre Dame. Granted I still have a player left tonight, but I see big problems ahead this season. My "stud" RB Steven Jackson gave me a big 1 point!!! What a joke. Then my #2 RB gets all of 7 points while sharing caries with an overweight has been. This could be a looooong season.

Ravens @ Bengals
I see no hope here as well. Sure the Bengals could salvage the weekend, but I doubt it. The offense has had trouble clicking in preseason - except for Chris Henry who is suspended until Week 10! We go up against a solid Ravens team, with a new RB weapon. Oh yeah, the Bengals defense is no better than the sorry excuse we put on the field last year. I look for a Ravens victory to the tune of 31-10. Sound familiar?

Oh, maybe the weekend could be salvaged by a couple other teams? The Reds dropped 2 straight to the Brewers including a pitcher giving up 3 consecutive homers to start the game. That has to be some kind of record. Yeah, the Saints also got demolished by the Colts, 41-10. I like to call this weekend the dreaded "0-fer".

ND Angst

Is anybody else getting anxious and shaky every time they think about Saturday at 3:30PM ET? I just saw that ND released their depth chart today and I've been reading all kinds of analyses about who's starting where and beautiful crescendo's of speed and balance. I'm getting so excited I had to stop working and write a post!

I'm also very excited about the QB battle. At this point I hope that Demetrius Jones wins the starting nod. Athletic, scrambling QB's in college are so much more dangerous - plus, everything I've read says that Jones has a pretty darn good arm as well. But whether it's Jones, Clausen, or Sharpley, at least I know that if the guys sucks we can go to someone else. How many silent prayers were said last year and the year before every time Brady Quinn took a hit? Depth baby!

I'm going out and buying a flagpole this weekend so I can hang my giant ND flag in front on my house. I'm also going to be sitting on my butt drinking enough beer to calm my nerves for the first game of the ND rebuilding year... er, National Championship run!

Lights!

Camera!

Action!

Requiem

From time to time, we have devoted an infrequent blog entry to Hollywood and some anticipated future releases. Well, I wouldn't be a good Heffernan if I didn't post this one. I have to admit, this caught me by complete surprise. Not only did I not think a sequel to AvP would ever be made, I didn't even know they were working on it!

So what is this little number about? The storyline is still top secret, but it appears to be an Alien outbreak on Earth in the present time. Of course a Predator is around to wreak havoc as well. It is R-rated, unlike AvP, and has been touted as a true horror film. The title was just announced, and the trailer is available for download by following this link at IGN. It hits theaters Christmas 2007. I have to admit, they could release Alien Meets Abbot and Costello and I would still go see it. I think every other Heffernan man probably feels the same way.

I hope to God this movie is every bit as awesome as the trailer indicates. It looks unbelievable. Let me give you the cliff notes version of the badass things I noticed. Check it out for yourself.

• The film is rated R, even the trailer is restricted!
• Old school Alien design, like in the 2nd movie (my favorite design)!
• Predators SLAUGHTERING humans! No more teaming up like in AvP!
• At least 20 deaths in the trailer alone.
• Language even in the trailer.
  
• Michelle Dressler from 24.
  

What smells worse than poo?

Do you like that picture? Most people don't. Pepe LePue aside, I generally think of skunks when I'm driving on the road and experience the fetid scents of rotten eggs and burning rubber. I'm not usually too upset because that's one less skunk in the world.

However, it's a different experience altogether when Pepe LePue is living with his wife in your backyard. Yup, that's right, my wonderful new house has got skunks in the back yard. They come out every night at around 8:30-9PM, and wander around my backyard looking for food. I've wrapped up all my garbage and other easily edible dietary supplements, but apparently skunks eat bugs too, of which I can't easily rid my yard.

So I'm working on finding an exterminator. "Skunk hunt!" doesn't have quite the same appeal as "'Coon hunt!" once did. Rabies doesn't show on the outside, but you can smell a skunk from a mile away, so I'll take the expense and hire Dwight the exterminator to "remove" those damned skunks. But I'll price it out, because if it's cheaper to get that crossbow I've always talked about, maybe I'll make a little investment.

That's Daddy's School

Just in time for the upcoming Notre Dame football season (39 days to kickoff and counting), Ava has figured out who she needs to be rooting for. Let me tell you a little story. Last week, I was loading Molly and Ava into my car to go to the store. I loaded Molly first, and as usual had Ava wait next to me before I loaded her. While loading Molly, I heard Ava clearly saying something that didn't register at first. Then I asked her what she just said. As clear as an adult she said "Go Irish!"

Not only did she say "Go Irish," she also did the standard fist pump cheer!!! I cannot tell you how amazed I was. Upon closer inspection, this wasn't just a spontaneous cheer. She saw my ND alumni sticker on the car window with the interlocking ND logo! She obviously recognized it and did her cheer!

First off, I am definitely not a crazy ND dad (yet). I have never tried to coerce Ava into saying Go Irish, or any other ND phrases. In fact, I don't ever recall ever saying that to her. Second, Ava has outgrown almost all of her ND gear (hint hint), so she doesn't see the logos much. Third, Ali also is amazed and obviously isn't practicing secret ND cheers! My best guess is that she notices my shirts and may have remembered some of the baby propaganda from last year (My First ND Book or the Baby ND DVD).

In any case, the proud ND papa now presents his daughter cheering for "Daddy's School." Please excuse the video being sideways. I couldn't figure out how to rotate it after I recorded on my still camera.

Simpsonize Me

Not that I want this to turn into a lame Hollywood blog, but I have another movie-themed post tonight. This time, it centers around the marketing genius around The Simpsons Movie. This long-anticipated movie comes out this month after yet another marketing blitz geared toward packing the theaters on opening weekend.

However, The Simpsons have one of the most ingenious schemes ever. You can simpsonize yourself online!!! Try this website, Simpsonize Me. Armed with a head shot of yourself, a quick upload will allow you to recreate yourself in true Simpsons form! Without further ado, I present to you...

Dr. Ted

Well done Burger King, well done!

More Than Meets The Eye

So this week opens yet another summer blockbuster. Michael Bay is unleashing Transformers upon us all! As a long-time Transformers fan, I felt compelled to make a brief blog post on this one. First, let me just say I am a huge Transformers fan. As a kid, I owned just about every Autobot they sold in stores. Conversely, Ian owned just about every Decepticon. We would still have them had someone not "lost them" (that's code for giving them away to some other kid without asking Ian or I).

This movie is going to be great! I plan on seeing this movie as soon as I am able. It is pretty tough these days getting to the movies with 2 youngsters! But before anyone goes, please get into the right frame of mind. It's Transformers - a movie about living robots from outer space who can mimic human machines. There really isn't anything beyond this very basic plot - TOTAL MAYHEM AND DESTRUCTION! That's why Bay was perfect for this movie! Please don't bash this movie for having no plot. It's not supposed to! Also, please don't bash this movie because it wasn't "true to the cartoon." You may not remember the cartoon clearly if you think it was all that great. I'll leave you with a little quote from a great website I read. This perfectly summarizes the old Transformers cartoon.

"Fans of the original television series will recall there were essentially two possible plots to any Transformers episode. Plot one involved the Decepticons discovering a new way to make Energon Cubes, forcing the Autobots to have to stop them. And plot two involved the Autobots finding a new way to generate Energon Cubes, causing the Decepticons to try and stop them, forcing the Autobots to have to stop them from stopping them. Each episode ended with a melee which involved the same recycled shots of Transformers seemingly floating in midair while their blasters fired repeatedly. The Decepticons would run off with their tails between their legs – and if for some reason the Autobots were having a hard time stopping them, they would turn to their new recruit, a Transformer we'd never seen or heard from before but was, fortunately for us, available in stores that very week, who would aid in chasing the Decepticons off with their tails between their legs. In a word, it was FUCKING AWESOME!"

USA loses to World All-stars

OK, so I got to watch the USA-Argentina game last night, and let me say that as soon as I saw the lineup Argentina was fielding, I expected a rout. I guess a 4-1 loss wasn't so bad - it could have (and should have) been much worse.

Consider this, the only player on the US starting squad I could identify was Kasey Keller. I could identify all 11 starters, and two subs, for Argentina. Here's who started for the powder blue: Ayala, Heinze, Milito, Zanetti, Cambiasso, Mascherano, Riquelme, Veron, Crespo, and Messi.

Here's who started for the US: some crappy right fullback named Wynne who thought he was playing sweeper and kept giving Messi 20 feet to take the ball to goal.

Notables remarks about these young players for the USA:

1. No one showed me anything. Granted, they played a superstar-loaded Argentina, but not a single player had a positive stand-out moment. Maybe Eddie Johnson handled the pressure on the PK, but that was about it.
2. Our young defenders don't know how to mark. They consistently gave Messi, Crespo, and Tevez as much space as they wanted.
3. If our defenders get in trouble, and sometimes even when they don't, they like to kick the ball as far as possible. This goes for Keller as well.
4. Our guys were diving left and right because it was the only way they could keep possession.

If these guys are the up-and-comers for US soccer, then last night's game proved that we will not be able to compete with the great teams of the world. Argentina outclassed our young guys, and unfortunately we didn't have any real bright spots from which to take a "moral victory."

Kobayashi Running Scared

In the world of competitive eating, there is really only one name - KOBAYASHI! The tiny Japanese phenom has won 6 straight Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Competitions at Coney Island. The competition, generally considered the Super Bowl of eating, is held annually on the 4th of July. Not only has Kabayashi won, he has demolished his competition, often besting his own world record in the process. Last year, he put down a remarkable 53.75 hot dogs in 12 minutes.

So today, 10 days before the big event, Kobayashi posted a blog entry titled "Vocational Disease." He describes how he has recently been diagnosed with TMJ syndrome and cannot open his mouth wider than his fingertip! He goes on to call his injury a "fatal wound" similar to torn ligaments in pitcher's arm. Now I'm not an expert or anything - WAIT! I am an expert! I am a radiologist trained in evaluating TMJ syndrome! I know a lot about this, and while this is a real problem that can cause some significant pain, I've never heard of it so severe that one cannot open his mouth!

What's really going on here? It is plainly obvious that Kobayashi is afraid! That's right! His biggest challenger, Joey Chestnut, just shattered Kobayashi's world record last month putting down 59.5 hot dogs!!! Now, realizing he would probably lose, he makes up some excuse and either skips Nathan's or has an out, should he show up and not win. This punk is robbing Chestnut of his deserved glory. Without Kobayashi, it won't even be a contest. Then again, it wouldn't have been a contest with him anyway. Chestnut is now THE MAN! USA has finally regained it's rightful crown for competitive eating!

!Estados Unidos, Campeons!

Viva USA!! As you may or may not know, the USA played and won the 2007 Gold Cup this summer, their second Gold Cup Championship in a row. Of course the global sports leader choose to air exactly zero matches, but luckily in Chicago all of the games were telecast live on Telefutura, our local Mexican affiliate. Also, I had the distinct pleasure to view the championship live at Soldier Field yesterday. Initially, I predicted a Mexican-US fan ratio of 70%-30%. However, after arrival I quickly changed that to 90%-10%, and that was being generous to US fans such as myself. The stadium was electric, easily one of the greatest sporting events I have ever witnessed, and the outcome was a thing of beauty, an ugly 2-1 US victory. I give credit to Mexico for attacking even with a lead, however it did open the way for the US to score the equalizer in 2nd half. Also, I was fortunate enough to sit in the section where a massive 40 person Mexican vs. Mexican brawl erupted immediately following the 2nd US goal. Beers and fists flew at a rapid pace, but the only thing I caught was some ketchup on my pants. However, after the 2nd goal you could have poured 10 beers on me and I wouldn't have cared; actually 10 beers were poured on me, but I didn't mind, because the USA es los campeons!

Goodbye Mr. Wizard

So I just found out that Mr. Wizard died last week at the ripe old age of 89! Who among us hasn't watched the classic episodes in which he demonstrates the world of science in amazing 20 minute segments? Hell, we even got to watch in school when our science teachers phoned it in back in the day (only now do I realize that they were probably hung over on those days). Of course he hadn't been doing his show for the last 10 years or so, but that doesn't matter. Everyone knows Mr. Wizard!

So as tribute, I will defer to Stephen Colbert from The Report last week. Colbert decisively bridges the gap between religion and science. Take that science!

Time to Trade Junior

I think the time has finally come - time for the Reds to trade Ken Griffey Jr. A lot of trade rumors are floating around right now, and Griffey comes up a lot. However, it seems almost certain Adam Dunn will be shipped out. I say keep Dunn and trade Griffey!

Let me preface with this, I love Griffey. I think he is one of the best players of all-time, and maybe the best hitter of his generation. One of the main reasons I say this is that Griffey obviously never used steroids. One can clearly see that by his slender physique and his propensity for injury. He just has a perfect swing that makes the ball fly out! I wonder if Griffey had 'roided up like most other power hitters, how many homers would he have right now? I'd say he would be knocking on the door of Aaron.

A quick statistical analysis shows that Junior averaged 140 games and 36 homers during his 11 seasons in Seattle. Contrast that to his Cincinnati career in which he averaged 100 games and 27 homers over 7 years prior to 2007. Lets just assume Griffey kept pace with his Seattle averages (and didn't INCREASE production like many of the steroid accused did later in their careers) over his 7 years in Cincinnati, by age what should have been the prime of his career. At the start of this season, he would be sitting at 650, just behind Willie Mays. By now, he'd have passed Mays and would be at 668. Bonds has 3 seasons on Junior, so add 3 more seasons to Griffey's stats and he ends up with 758 home runs - our all-time home run king!

So why trade him now? Because he is having the best start to a season since 2000. I love the guy and want him to succeed, but there are a ton of great teams that need a lefty bat right now. We could get some immediate help in the bullpen, and a couple top prospects in return. Although I hope it's not the case, I don't think Griffey will be performing at this level for long - or perhaps again. The past 7 years have shown that every season is just a matter of time before he winds up on an extended DL stint. Adam Dunn, for all his faults is a durable power hitter that is made for GABP. In this post-steroid era, how many hitters can you legitimately pencil in 40 homers at the start of the season? Not more than a handful. He is the power hitter that our team should be relying on for the next decade.

So I say, farewell to Junior. Thanks for the memories, and good luck getting your ring elsewhere. Don't kick us when you're gone either. With a healthy Junior, the Reds would have been in the playoffs in 2000 and 2006. You can't say he never had a shot in Cincy!

John Edwards Is A Douche Bag

I'm not really in the know on politics (or the current political persuasions of our family), but I do know one thing. John Edwards is absolute scum. Look at that slimy smile on the left. He's just scheming on how he can continue to pull the wool over the eyes of America. This guy CANNOT be our next president. Let me tell you why.

John Edwards is a multimillionaire. That in itself is not a problem. All presidential candidates are. However, many news reports say he is an example of the American Dream. I say he is the American Nightmare. He earned his money as a malpractice lawyer. Okay, insert anti-lawyer joke here (sorry Bridget). In any case, the way by which he practiced law is despicable. He pioneered the practice of suing a psychiatrist after a patient committed suicide. However, he specialized in suing OB/GYN doctors for children born with cerebral palsy. Now let me give a couple medical facts (I am a biased doctor after all): insults that cause cerebral palsy occur well before delivery and there has never been any proven correlation between cerebral palsy and delivery technique. So what did Edwards do to win his cases? He twisted the medical facts and played on the heartstrings of the jury. This is a direct quote from an article in The Washington Times, a surprisingly anti-Edwards article from this newspaper:

"Linking complications during childbirth to cerebral palsy became a specialty for Mr. Edwards. In the courtroom, he was known to dramatize the events at birth by speaking to jurors as if he were the unborn baby, begging for help, begging to be let out of the womb."
Edwards' malpractice suits leave bitter taste

Are you kidding me? The article makes me want to punch Edwards in the nose! In one particular case, he sued the OB doctor, anesthesiologist, the OB clinic AND the hospital involved. That got a pretty $23 million settlement. Oh, that's great for the "victim" right? Not so much after Edwards takes his 50%!!! The guy has almost single-handedly destroyed the health care system in his home state of North Carolina. Read the article for numerous examples of how his actions have directly resulted in thousands losing health care and access to medical care. If he gets elected, I wonder how long before the entire system collapses.

In a recent announcement, Edwards also revealed that the breast cancer his wife had previously been treated for was back. This is a very sad thing. I honestly feel terrible for her and her family. She is relatively young and has developed a recurrance with metastatic spread. I'm sorry to say this is almost a death sentence. So what does Edwards do? He holds a press conference stating that the show must go on! He will continue to run for president while his wife gets treatment. This brings up the title of this post... WHAT A DOUCHE BAG!!! If my wife developed a life-threatening illness that was almost assuredly fatal, I would drop everything to be with her. Instead, Edwards will hit the compaign trail. He will rely on the very same doctors (that he worked long and hard to destroy) to save her life. I have to wonder how long until he sues somebody regarding her treatment.

I recently read with joy an article about Edwards after the recent New Hampshire Democratic debate. In the last poll before the debate, Edwards (21%) was in a virtual dead heat with Clinton (27%) and Obama (20%). After the debate, Edwards plummeted. The new poll shows a significant drop with Edwards only having 12%. Apparently he must have screwed up at the debate. This is a really good thing. There are still a lot of people that think he is a good guy, so let's stomp that out.

Wow. Just... wow

The new Creation Museum recently opened in Petersburg, KY (summer vacation, mom and dad?) as an attempt to promote creationism at the expense of evolution. There is a wonderful review that can be read here. Perhaps my favorite exhibit from the museum is when they attempt to rationalize incest. I guess they sorta painted themselves into a corner with the whole 'Adam and Eve's kids must have married each other ' situation and had some 'splaining to do. Here's why they think it's okay to boink your brother/sister/cousin/relative...

Notice how they never actually say incest is wrong. They just kinda say "it was okay back then" and "if you try it today you may have mongoloid babies". Those crazy creationists!

Lackluster

The US Men's National Team squeaked by Guatemala last night 1-0 in their first game of the 2007 Gold Cup, and if I had one word to summarize their performance it would be 'lackluster'. Here's my take on player performance ratings (1 being lowest, 10 highest):

Tim Howard (GK) - 5: Hard to give him more or less. Not much to do, but took care of business when necessary.
Frankie Hejduk (DF) - 7: When people talk about the US's conditioning and speed they are talking about Frankie. He was everywhere. Making overlapping runs to support the offense, but always getting back on defense. And Guatemalan forwards never got behind him.
Oguchi Onyewu (DF) - 0: The secret's out on 'Gooch'. His physical presence is no longer intimidating and opposing forwards know he'll foul them given an opportunity. Two clumsy, unnecessary challenges saw him pick up two yellows and get ejected.
Carlos Bocanegra (DF) - 6: A steadying influence in the back who constantly had to make up for Onyewu and Bornstein's poor positioning.
Jonathan Bornstein (DF) - 3: Let's hope this kid isn't the future left-back of choice for Bob Bradley. His poor positional play allowed defenders to consistently get in behind him, leaving Bocanegra to have to clean up his mess.
Michael Bradley (MD) - 4: Good work controlling the flow through the midfield, but needs to be better at coming to the ball as his hesitancy led to consistent turnovers.
Benny Feilhaber (MD) - 6: Paired well with Bradly in the middle. I appreciated his more aggressive, offensive minded approach throughout the game.
Landon Donovan (MD) - 1: Bradley has taken away the captain's band from Boy Wonder, now he needs to bench him. Simply, Donovan has lost what made him so fantastic at the 2002 World Cup. He no longer challenges defenders on the wing, almost exclusively opting to pull the ball back and reset and his crosses consistently die at the head or feet of the first opposing defender. Why is he still taking all set plays? At least he has a future as an X-Games prop as his every first touch pops up in the air near his head like his foot is some sort of skateboarding ramp allowing defenders the easy opportunity to take the ball away.
DaMarcus Beasley (MD) - 4: His speed is an asset and he made several good runs on the left flank, but his touch and dribbling skills look like that of a player on a U-14 club team, not the national squad.
Taylor Twellman (FW) - 5: A great run and cross setup the only US goal, but he missed an absolute sitter that would've put the game beyond doubt in first half injury time by heading a pinpoint cross over the goal from 5 meters.
Clint Dempsey (FW) - 5: Scored the only US goal, but - how do I say this? - he plays too slowly. Too much dancing and standing on top of the ball and not enough pressing and shooting for a forward.
Eddie Johnson (61st for Dempsey) - 2: He's tall and he's fast and he's a strong finisher (at least in the MLS), unfortunately he spent 30 minutes in this game with his back to the goal and losing incoming passes with a terrible first touch.
Steve Ralston (71st for Twellman) - NR: Ralston didn't do enough to merit a rating.
Jay DeMerit (81st for Feilhaber) - 5: Replaced Feilhaber to bolster the defense after Onyewu got tossed. Stabilized the defense in a strong partnership with Bocanegra. These two will likely pair up for the remainder of the opening round with Onyewu forced to sit.

Bob Bradley needs to shake up this squad. I think guys need to know that no one on the team is guaranteed a spot in the starting 11. Whether it's golden boy Donovan or his own kid, players need to know that if they don't show the goods on the pitch, they'll spend the next game on the bench. There seems to be a sense of entitlement within some of these guys, which is leading to complacency in their play. They all need to learn that if they want a spot in the team everyone has to earn it...

Homer Bailey

Is the Reds season officially over? Only today, I was pondering how long it would be before the Reds were mathematically eliminated. The Reds lost their 3rd game in a row last night. They sit 11 games back at dead last in the NL Central. Then I read a little tidbit this morning...
Homer Bailey has been called up and will start Friday!!!

Not only is this his major league debut - it's at home against the Indians! I am so jealous of Kevin with his damn Fox Sports Ohio on Friday! I will be closely watching this one. Unfortunately, I still don't think it will make a bit of difference with the team this year. We have absolutely no relievers! We are in every game we play, but I can't even read the box scores anymore though because we give up 3, 4 or 5 runs in relief EVERY DAMN NIGHT! This is an experience year for Bailey. Then, 2008 will be the year for us.

• Bailey will dominate in his 2nd year.
  
• Harang and Aroyo will eat up innings.
  
• Hamilton will come into his own.
  
• Our infield problems look to have been solved with Gonzalez.
• We trade/acquire a couple relievers and a closer. (The key to the team's success)

I'm now starting to monitor the starting rotation for September when we go to the game after Bridget's wedding! Come on Bailey!

Space Bags are Awesome

After years of pleading Liz finally gave in and bought me Space Bags. I always wanted them, especially during the summer in order to store our comforter, and this year we finally pulled the trigger. Secretly I never thought they would work, but amazingly they worked above and beyond all expectations! I recommend them to anyone with junk that lends itself to being stored in a vacuum sealed plastic bag. I can't wait to use the remaining bags for sweaters.

Celebrity Sighting in Bucktown!

Liz and I were walking home tonight from Baskin Robbins and had our first celebrity sighting in Bucktown! Guess who it was, none other than the famous DJ Qualls! Plus he was not doing anything illegal. Awesome.

New Link on The Royal Heffernans!

Colin was bored at work and decided to do something productive! Check out the new link on the right side of the page, "The Colin and Liz Picture Blog". I turned my old blog into a dedicated site to link to Sony Imagestation so everyone could view our photos! I got jealous of Ted having his website look so fancy with photo updates that I decided something must be done. I have only linked the pictures from Thanksgiving 2006, but from there you can view any of our past photo albums. The plan is to update the site whenever we have new pictures. Everyone enjoy!

Time Marches On

As much as I hate to make work for anybody (especially me), I have to say that our "family photo" on the Royal Heffernans blog page is getting out of date. Since the debut of our blog, two new faces have been added to the group, viz., Bryan and Molly. In a few months, DC Baby will be here, too. I beseech the digital wonderworkers - whoever they may be - to consider my observation and create anew our family's public image.

Weddings and babies and trips, oh my!

I admit I was shamed into this post by Ted's comment that our blog is losing its originality! I'm a girl, though, so y'all have to suffer through this one. :)

I'm just so darn excited about all the events happening this year! It seems like when it rains, it pours with The Royal Heffernans. Remember '03, when we had Ian & Steph's wedding and five graduations all within a few months of each other?! Craziness. I think '07 will go down in history, too, what with the arrival of Molly,

and Ian and Steph's little bundle of joy,

and lil' ol' me getting hitched,

and - of course - all the parties and showers that go along with it all.

Here's to 'o7! I can't wait to celebrate with my family!

Prank War

Since nobody is cool enough to post any original material to the blog anymore, I will do what any good blogger does - embed links to other funny sites!!! We need to keep this damn thing fresh! Anyway, somebody emailed me a link to a web site that is kind of like YouTube. One of the ongoing video series is called Prank War. It is essentially an ongoing war of practical jokes that continue to escalate. I embedded the original prank below. Check it out. It made me laugh so hard I was crying. The joke is so simple, but the guys reaction is just priceless!



Audio Prank! from streeter seidell on Vimeo

If anyone is interested, the ensuing 4 pranks go back and forth on this site within Vimeo. I have to say the most recent prank (Human Giant) is utterly cruel - but AWESOME!

The New Sports Illustrated

About 15 years ago I stopped reading Sports Illustrated (SI) because after Notre Dame won the national championship in 1988 everything SI wrote about them was negative. I gave them an extra few years grace because I assumed they were just picking on the easiest target, but it persisted and I eventually dropped my subscription. A few years back ESPN began publishing their own sports periodical and, while objective to start, it has quickly turned to writing the type of anti- Notre Dame fodder that drove me away from SI. Any chance they get to take a shot at the school, administration, or players, they take. Take for example this mock mock draft posted on espn.com's Page 2 by resident jackass DJ Gallo:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/070427&sportCat=nfl

Notice anything unusual about the fake picks? How about that out of the 32 predicted first round draft choices the only draftee he disparages is Brady Quinn. I know Quinn is an easy target after quarterbacking ND for four years, having model-esque good looks, and supposedly playing poorly in big games, but he could've shared the wealth. Dwayne Jarrett was involved in a housing/booster scandal at USC, Adrian Peterson broke his collarbone show-boating in the 4th quarter with his team up by 4 touchdowns, there are plenty of other examples. But no, Quinn gets picked on because he's a stand-up kid who just so happens to have been the quarterback at Notre Dame. Guess I'll be canceling my ESPN the Magazine subscription soon...

The Ty Effect

Over the past few days a lot of college football "experts" have been updating their pre-season top 25 lists now that most spring games have taken place. What simply cracks me up is that Notre Dame is not ranked in any pre-season top 25 list. That's not to say that I don't mind - playing the underdog role is always preferable to oodles of unreal expectations - but have you ever heard of a team being the consensus #1 one season, finishing that season at 10-3 (and playing in a BCS game), then being unranked the next? It's almost unbelievable. You pretty much have to chalk it up to a lack of depth - we simply graduated all our (offensive) studs and are left with the dregs of Ty Willingham's recruiting, ahem, efforts. I think there are something like 6 true seniors on scholarship, which is a joke. Regardless, I'm looking forward to a low-key season in which nobody expects anything from the Irish, at least until they win a couple games and everyone immediately moves them from unranked to #6. But we could be worse off, we could still have Ty as our head coach. Have a fun season Huskie fans! Shoot for the moon, i.e. 2 wins...

Lame

Seriously, how hard is it to make a kelly green t-shirt that says either 'IRISH' or 'NOTRE DAME' (on two lines) on the front with a big freaking shamrock on the back? Everyone in the world would by that shirt and it would even cost less because they wouldn't need to silk-screen 87 colors onto the image that eventually just ends up cooking your back in the September sun because it's 4 inches thick. And is it impossible to maybe pick a standard color and stick with it from year to year? Maybe then our fans could have a unified look rather than 1/4 in yellow, 1/4 in navy, 1/4 in forest green, and 1/4 in some other hideous, greenish hue.

I think Notre Dame should consider dropping the engineering school in favor of some sort of fashion institute. Good God almighty - it's looks like this was designed by Saint Lucy, but she was only given a 16 pack of Crayola crayons and all the primary colors removed. If you ask me, 'The Shirt' has an unnecessary definite article and one too many R's...

(spit) On Wisconsin

Bret Bielema, head coach of the Wisconsin football team, is still a bit perturbed that his team did not make the BCS. Who does he blame? ND. Check it out, what a cry-baby.

HERE

Let The Speculation Begin

Notre Dame released the format and rosters for this weekend's annual Blue-Gold game this morning. What immediately struck me is that the teams seem to be separated by first-team offense and first-team defense. One the Blue team you have Travis Thomas, Armando Allen, and Luke Schmidt in the backfield, David Grimes and George West at receiver, and John Carlson at tight-end. Meanwhile, the Gold team has Zibby, Maurice Crum, Lambert and Wooden, Toryan Smith, and Trevor Laws.

The big story, as has been the case all spring, is that the Blue team's quarterbacks are Clausen and Jones while Sharpley and Frazer will lead the Gold.

Given the lean towards offense on the Blue team, I can't help but speculate that Weis has Clausen and Jones as his #1 and #1a at the point, in no particular order. According to the release the starting QBs will be determined by a coin toss prior to the start of the game...

UPDATE: The results of the coin toss are in and it appears that Clausen and Sharpley will be the starters...

Screw Off Credit Cards!!!

Oh, what a momentous day! I just checked the balance on my two credit card accounts, and both read $0.00. Ali and I have finally emerged from credit card debt! For all of you who haven't shared this burden, I congratulate you. It is a hell from which we have now emerged.

My credit card history is a long and exciting one, so I'll regale you all with the story! Like many before and since, I got my first credit card during freshman orientation in college at Notre Dame. I'll never forget my first credit card purchase - the Totally 80's double CD set!!! What a great purchase! Throughout college, I had a nice $500 limit on my Citibank card. I never had any problem paying it off every month. That pattern continued through grad school and my first job. I had a zero balance when I started medical school in 1999. I also had a pretty new Platinum card and a very sizable limit, as the credit card companies continued to entice me to make larger and larger purchases.

Unfortunately, med school gives you a meager living expense stipend that inevitably would run out 6 weeks before the next loan check arrived. Unlike law school (I'm not bitter), med students do service projects in the summer for free, and attend clinics year around after the second year, so we can't earn any cash. So I would resort to using the credit cards to pay utility bills, car payments and even buy groceries. When Ali and I got married, we needed a honeymoon - thanks Citibank! Of course, the balance grew. The end result was a significant amount of debt.

We did the smart thing and did a giant balance transfer to a new American Express Blue card - with 0% interest on balance transfers. We slowly paid it down while making only rare credit card purchases from there on out. Finally, we paid it off last month! So now I will happily close out that AMEX Blue card and put the old Citibank card away. Screw those companies and their ever increasing interest rates. I will be very happy to use my debit card! Secretly though, don't we all long for the final scene from Fight Club? You know I do!