The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Saints Lose, But Saints Fan is the Big Loser



So it's a rare NFL-themed post today on a topic I just couldn't resist any longer! Sunday was a matchup between the two NFL teams I love and follow. My hometown Bengals were visiting my hometown-through-marriage Saints. I'm sure Ali's Dad had a front row view of this critical game between two horribly underachieving teams.

So the Bengals had an impressive road win, but their performance was overshadowed by an event that happened in the stands after a Dalton to Gresham TD. Gresham spotted two Bengals fans in the endzone seats and walked over, tossing the ball to the female fan who was reaching for it. That's when an old Saints fan rose up and snatched the ball in mid-air, elbowing the female Bengals fan in the face in the process. Cameras moved in and recorded every second as the female fan begged for the ball, while the Saints fan sat in his seat shaking his head with a death grip on the ball.

Although the Bengals fan (visiting from Kentucky) was eventually given a game ball by the Saints and another Gresham signed ball by the Bengals (as well as a lot of media time and some other free gear), her plight was picked up nationally. Of course, the Saints fan was painted as the villain and has been vilified in the national media since then. NOLA news quickly identified the man and his and his family's life has been shit since then. He claims the ball was for his grandson, and that may be the case.

So I was rooting for the Bengals in this game. I live in Cincinnati. I initially was pissed at the Saints fan too, and considered him a total jerk. I agreed with all the media outlets and accepted the story. But upon further review, I'm siding with the Saints fan on this one!



If you watch the full video, you'll notice something that NOT ONE MEDIA STORY has pointed out. This Bengals fan wasn't in her seat! You can clearly see the Saints fan is seated in the front row in an end/aisle seat. At some point during or after the TD play, the two Bengals fans ran down from their seats higher up in the section to cheer/beg for a ball. Having been to a lot of sporting events in my day, nothing ruins your fun quicker than other fans intruding into your space. How would you like to have kick-ass front row seats only to have to deal with idiots in the aisle the whole game? What about idiots leaning into your seat? This guys had every right to get that ball. Those two girls should have never even been there. Ushers need to regulate and keep the aisles clear of fans during the game. The aisle isn't their accessory front row seat.

So lay off the poor Saints fan. Throw the blame where it belongs - at inconsiderate, rude Bengals fans infringing on the awesome seats of a front row (likely season ticket holding) Saints fan. Saints need to get this dude some free gear and show him a little love publicly.

Monday, November 03, 2014

Elimination Saturday


For those overly concerned about the Playoff and how their team will make it in, this weekend offers a big dose of reality. No, no Playoff spots will be clinched. However, several teams WILL be eliminated from contention.

Right now, 2 teams are undefeated. Until they lose, they are in. The mad scramble for position is among the 1-loss teams. Every 1-loss Power 5 team, including Notre Dame, theoretically has a shot. Lose a 2nd game, and you are essentially eliminated. Last week, Ole Miss, Georgia and Arizona kissed their Playoff chances goodbye. This week, while a surprise or 2 may happen, matchups demand that no less than 3 teams will be eliminated.

Kansas State @ TCU
Two 1-loss Top-10 teams face off. The winner takes a huge step toward the Playoffs. The loser is done. Based upon their remaining schedules, I think we have to root HARD for KSU. TCU's remaining schedule is a joke. KSU still plays @ WVU and @ Baylor.

Ohio State @ Michigan State
I think we have to root for OSU in this one. I don't think they jump us with a win, but it's certain we'll never jump MSU should they win out. Plus, I think OSU could easily lose to Nebraska in the B1G Championship.

Notre Dame @ Arizona State
Do I have to explain who we need to win this one?

Other potential upsets that we need to root for this weekend:
  • A&M over Auburn
  • Utah over Oregon
  • LSU over Alabama
  • Oklahoma over Baylor

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

College Football is Rigged


On the day of the FIRST EVER College Football Playoff Rankings, I thought it would be fun to jump all over ESPN and the SEC, who may have 3 top 4 teams in the rankings tonight. Let's do an exercise tracking the SEC teams over the first 10 weeks of the season. I'll stick with the AP Poll, since the Coaches Poll is a bunch of self-serving bastards!


So what is the point? It's this: that you can't overcome the SEC because the rankings don't allow it. 8 ranked teams to start the season stacks the deck. Then, they climb in the rankings by destroying powerhouses like Lamar, SMU, Florida Atlantic, Southern Miss, LA Lafayette, Sam Houston, and more. When they finally get around to playing each other, a loss doesn't hurt because, "SHUCKS, we lost to a great SEC team". Texas A&M is a great example. They flew up the rankings by beating currently unranked South Carolina and then Lamar, Rice and SMU - IN CONSECUTIVE WEEKS!!! When they finally played an actual team in Miss State, they lost and dropped to 14. It took 3 straight losses to finally get them out of the rankings.

I don't see the SEC tearing up anyone from any other Power 5 conferences this season. They lost the few Power 5 matchups they played (Tennesse to Oklahoma, Missouri to Indiana). There is no way to say they are any better than any other conference in the NCAA. Do you want to claim past performance by the SEC in the BCS? Okay, how do you then account for upstarts Ole Miss and Miss State? If we want to use past performance, then these guys were #18 and unranked preseason, with long histories of futility. Suddenly, they are the darlings of the SEC, and we should just assume they are great? You can't have it both ways SEC fans! If you want past-performance to matter, than you have to discount schools that previously stunk.

Look, I'm not stupid. I realize the SEC has some good teams every year. However, most of them are extremely flawed. If you really look at it, the SEC is Alabama, an all-time great dynasty right now. Occasionally, an upstart Auburn or LSU sneaks through, but the conference as a whole is no better than any other.

What really gives it an edge though is money. The head coaches make more than anyone else (Saban earned $7M this year AND got a $3M house paid for by boosters). The assistants make more than most head coaches (why Biliema left Wisconsin). We also know the players get their share. Too many stories about Cam's dad and players flashing cash in selfies to ignore. Where there's smoke, there's fire. Finally, the Universities just THROW cash at the football programs. 

So we'll see what happens tonight. I predict Miss St, FSU, Alabama and Auburn are ranked at the top. ND will be in the pack of 1-loss teams that have to keep their fingers crossed. I think Oregon will edge us for #5, and we'll slide in at #6 ahead of Michigan State.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Well, F(S)Uck


That was about as bad as it gets. I think it literally is as bad as the 2005 USC (Bush Push) game. We had the victory, only to have it taken away from us by factors beyond our control - in this case the refs.

While this game convinced me that we could go toe-to-toe with any team in the country, I think the media and Playoff committee may see it differently. We dropped to #7 in the AP Poll and #8 in the Coaches Poll. I realize that these polls are now meaningless for determining a champion or playoff team, but they are a pretty good indicator of how the teams stack up.

The Playoff picture is coming into focus now. Barring more than a few miraculous upsets (which certainly could happen), the inaugural College Football Playoff looks like this:

1. SEC Champ
2. FSU
3. SEC West Runner-up
4. Wide Open

While the #1 seed could go back to FSU should the SEC champ incur a loss, those two will be #1 and #2. The runner-up in the SEC West will get the #3 seed. Likely it will be a 1-loss team, but a 2-loss runner-up likely gets the nod anyway, although they would get the #4 seed. The SEC East champ will be eliminated with the extra loss in the SEC Championship.

So that gets us to the interesting part. Right now, the teams in contention are Michigan State, Oregon and Notre Dame. The AP and Coaches polls have these teams completely flipped, so good luck trying to decide who gets in if each win out. I think a 1-loss conference champion from either the B1G or Pac-12 would get the nod over ND. Conference championships are a playoff criterion. (As an aside, the Big 12 is out. Horrible conference with no defense, and down in the rankings.)

So if ND wants to make the Playoff, we have to hope for 2 things: a loss by Michigan State and a loss by Oregon. Then, we take care of business and win out. There is no way we jump either with 1-loss no matter what our strength of schedule is. They won't easily leave 3 of 5 Power 5 conference champs out of a 4-team playoff.

There is one wrinkle left. I could see Ohio State leapfrogging us if they win out and win the B1G. Keep an eye on that.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

ND v. FSU


Even after the pretty lackluster performance Saturday against North Carolina, I still feel like Notre Dame can pull off the upset in Tallahassee against Florida State. And as the days pass, I'm becoming more and more convinced that the best chance for that to happen is if Jameis Winston is their quarterback on Saturday. Here's my logic...

If Winston is suspended, the team starts to rally together and develop an us-against-the-world mentality. They have confidence in the backup after the Clemson game, so they know they can win without Winston and now they have a ton of motivation. They've also just been dropped from their perch at #1 down to #3 so they'll definitely have the whole, "No one gives us any respect" card to play as well. That can't carry you through a season, usually, but it can be enough to go crazy on emotion for one game and pull off the improbable.

If Winston plays, it's with the weight of his looming autograph scandal and his student code of ethics trial for his alleged sexual assault two years ago. I really believe Winston gives zero fucks about either of these issues, but they are a huge distraction to him and the team. The focus is completely on answering questions about these items and less about the game Saturday. He and the team will say all the right things about just being focused on Notre Dame, but you know it's a cloud and you know it will be an impact. And if he gets rattled early (which would be nice to have happen to an opposing quarterback, for a change) the wheels can really come off.

So I'm counterintuitively rooting for Winston to be available. Although, to reference my post from last week, should Notre Dame pull off the upset, the storyline quickly shifts to how Florida State was distracted by the events heading into the week and Notre Dame will get a big asterisk next to this victory and will still need to prove themselves against Arizona State, Louisville, and Southern Cal...

Monday, October 06, 2014

Outcomes Change the Narrative


Everett Golson and Ben Koyack saved my anniversary dinner. On our way to dinner we listened to Stanford's fourth quarter touchdown to take the lead then walked to a bar to watch Notre Dame's last ditch effort. The rest is history and I was able to enjoy my lobster pot and the wife her first crab cakes in 3 years, along with an exceptional butternut squash lobster bisque.

As we sat at home afterwards and watched the chaos of Saturday unfold (with an eye on the Nationals as they went into extra innings), Steph turned to me and said, "You're just staying up so you can watch the highlights and see what everyone says about the Notre Dame game." Of course I was! I couldn't wait to see everyone have to begrudgingly accept that maybe, just maybe, Notre Dame has a decent team this year.

Heading into the game all the talk was about Stanford's number one defense in multiple categories and Stanford's "hit-you-in-the-mouth" offense featuring the explosive Ty Montgomery. How could Notre Dame possibly deal with that? Most were picking Stanford.

Well, Notre Dame dealt with it. And could've made this a snorefest if a) Golson didn't gift Stanford a touchdown with a fumble on his on 10 yard line, b) Golson didn't give away potentially 7 points with an interception on Stanford's 2 yard line, and c) Notre Dame doesn't throw away 6 points on two bobbled field goal holds.

So I was eager to see Notre Dame's acceptance. But it never came.

Instead the story of the game became Stanford's inept offense. Every major college sportswriter not affiliated with Notre Dame took this angle or simply didn't mention the highly anticipated game between the 9th and 14th ranked teams in the country.

You know, you absolutely just know, that had Stanford held on to win this game gets a LOT more mention, even with all the craziness that occurred in the CFB world on Saturday. You know the talk turns to Notre Dame still not being tough enough. Of their early season success just being an aberration due to a weak schedule (one that, FWIW, many were calling the hardest in the country before the season started).

I don't know why I get worked up. This happens year after year after year. I should be used to it by now, but I always just expect things will change. Oh well, maybe if Notre Dame can pull the upset in Tallahassee they'll make some noise, but based on history the story will just change to how Florida State isn't the same team it was last year and was due for a loss.

Thursday, October 02, 2014

ND Hodge Podge


We hit the real start of the football season this weekend as Stanford comes to town. I thought I'd take the opportunity to discuss a few ND topics of interest...

The Five
So the ND Honor Code finally held the hearings for the 5 ND football players this week. They should have their ruling within the next week, as early as today. Much mental anguish has been thrown around the interwebs with regards to ND admin's slow pace in resolving this situation. Here's what you need to know.
  • ND does and always will place academics above everything else. Sports are a distant 2nd at best, and may be 3rd with the Catholic identity edging it out for 2nd.
  • The pace of this investigation has been slow, but ND will NOT mess this up. 
  • There has been no special treatment because these are football players.
  • Clearly, these 5 players did something wrong. How bad their mistake was is the subject of the investigation and hearings. So if anyone (including them) wants to complain, they need to remember that it was the players who started this mess.
Much of the complaining has to do with the fact that they are being held out of football activities. Guilty until proven innocent. A typical complaint goes like this, "If they are exonerated, they were punished by missing over a quarter of the season for nothing!" While I agree that it doesn't make sense to take this extreme step (at least let them practice), you have to understand history. This situation involves a paid student employee of the athletic department. What her involvement is, we don't know. However, if you recall the one and only time ND received NCAA probation, it was because Kim Dunbar gave gifts to a player she was dating. The NCAA determined she was a booster because she paid $25 to go to a QB club luncheon. So that is why ND self-reported the current situation to the NCAA. I doubt this will have any NCAA implications, but ND will take no chances on getting a penalty. I think their deliberate approach to this situation will make that very unlikely.

ACC and Scheduling
I am loving our association with the ACC. We have 5 power conference games locked in. They rotate to new ACC sites every year. Lots of new opponents and stadiums to check out. It covers HOT spots we need for recruiting. Our Bowl opportunities are better than ever. Looking ahead, it look like Swarbrick is looking to diversify the schedule. We have series scheduled against Georgia, Texas, A&M and OSU. I envision a future in which we hopefully play one team from each power conference every year. Without a conference championship, we need to be able to compare ourselves to other conferences for playoff selection. An ideal future schedule format:
  • 5 ACC teams
  • 2 Pac 12 (USC, Stanford)
  • 2 B1G (rotate Purdue/MSU and occasional OSU or Michigan)
  • 1 SEC (Georgia and A&M currently)
  • 1 Big 12 (Texas coming up)
  • 1 Navy
Stanford
I see almost everyone seems to be picking Stanford to pop ND's bubble. I can't even believe it. The pure ignorance is mind-numbing. Go back to 2012 and read my preview of the ND Oklahoma game. I hit it dead on. I don't often make predictions, but this one seems too easy.
  • ND is better than 2013.
  • Stanford is worse than 2013.
  • ND lost 27-20 at Stanford in 2013.
  • That loss was aided by 2 4th Q picks by Tommy Rees.
  • Our QB is now Golson who can make plays.
  • The game is at Notre Dame.
It seems pretty obvious we should at least be favored in this game. Stanford isn't the bruising juggernaut of the past 5 years. They are in transition. I think our O is good for a few scores, and I don't see them taking advantage of our solid D. I call ND victory 24-13.

Season Prospects
So the inevitable question. Do we make the Playoff? Clearly it is too early to make that call. A big win this week helps a LOT. FSU may be the season. We also cannot slip up against AZST and USC. I'll be all-in if we beat FSU, and we will be in prime position if that happens. A close loss to FSU keeps us alive, but the only way we get in with 1 loss is if we look better than the Big 12 and B1G champions. I don't see that happening. Assuming we are 11-1 with a loss to FSU, FSU is in. Whomever wins the SEC is in. Whomever wins the Pac 12 is in. The B1G is down, and could lose out. A 1 loss MSU will be difficult to skip in favor of ND. Conference Championships are a big criteria. Even tougher is Oklahoma should they win out or have 1 loss. If we beat FSU and them stumble late, we could edge out FSU with 1 loss. That may be our best shot, but it has always been tough to overcome a late season loss. I think the only way we get in as an independent is undefeated. Some hard years ahead until the Playoff expands to 8.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Roger Goodell Is Now the Scapegoat


I am going to take a very unpopular position here. I am going to defend the NFL and Roger Goodell in their mishandling of the Ray Rice domestic violence suspension.

The NFL is a microcosm of America. There are overwhelmingly good people in the league. There are also bad people. Cheaters, drug users, alcoholics, murderers, rapists and (as brought vividly to the public conscience with an elevator security cam) wife/woman beaters. In this respect, the NFL is no different from any other field of employment in America, be it teachers, politicians, doctors or whatever. The big difference is that the NFL is almost completely in the public eye. (That and the multibillion dollar revenue, which we'll get back to.)

So is it any wonder that the Ravens and the NFL woefully mishandled the Ray Rice situation? The legal system struggles mightily with sexual assault and domestic violence issues. Just look at the Ray Rice case. His fiancee (whom he has since married) did not press charges and strongly supported him. I'm not saying that makes it OK. I realize that part of the problem is that many women feel that they deserve this or are willing to ignore it for love, money, stability or whatever. That puts a prosecution in a tough spot. Ray Rice avoided jail time and got pre-trial intervention, with the charges likely to be expunged.

So what is the NFL to do? The prosecutors gave him a slap on the wrist. His wife sat by his side and pled for lenience. Rice fully admitted to what he did and said he is in counseling to get help. Goodell gave him 2 weeks suspension. He could have given him more, but what is the precedent? It's more than the legal system did.

Obviously, that wasn't enough, and the subsequent release of the in-elevator view has sparked a firestorm of what did who know when. It doesn't matter. This is a position that the NFL, or any other workplace cannot win in.

I think Goodell's biggest mistake is taking on the role of sheriff  when he became commissioner. There is no way to clean up the NFL, just liek there is no way to clean up America or any society. There are going to be bad eggs. It's an impossible standard for Goodell to be judge, jury and executioner for everyone in the NFL. Just look at our legal system to see how complicated it has become to simply dole out justice in America. The NFL is a SPORT!!! It's not a courtroom.

My solution to this mess if I am advising the NFL? I think Roger Goodell should step back from his role as moral policeman of the NFL. As commissioner, he should review and dole out punishment regarding on-field issues only. PEDs, drug use, blows to the head, spygate, bounties. Anything off the field would be a legal matter. Then, each individual team would be free to decide if a player needs any additional punishment - just like any other employer. In this case, Ray Rice would have been fired from almost any job if this had come to light. If the Ravens decided to keep him to make the team better, they would be BLASTED by fans and media, and would feel an impact financially. No different than if a teacher put his wife in the hospital. He'd be fired.

In no way is this a defense of Ray Rice or what he did. Make that point clear. I am just trying to say that Roger Goodell and the NFL have painted themselves into a corner. It's an impossible task for them to maintain, but they have tried to do this because of the money. They want to protect and grow the game, but you can never prevent the bad apples from doing bad things. I think America is well beyond the naive mindset that puts football players on a pedestal. Most reasonable people realize football players have the same problems as the rest of society.

Let's let society deal with the players when they do wrong. Let the NFL stick to football.

A Very Special Blog Post


I'm going to take some time off from the NFL. It isn't just because of everything recently with Ray Rice, although that was the straw that broke the proverbial back, it's because the NFL is out of control. And, repeat after me - IT'S JUST A FUCKING GAME!

We can start with Ray Rice knocking his fiancee out cold. If you've seen the video, it's difficult for me to judge which is the worst part - the fact that he appears to strike with zero hesitation, the visceral, raw violence of the act, or the staggering lack of concern from Rice as Janay Palmer's head strikes the elevator railing and she lays unconscious on the ground. Disgust can be evenly distributed, starting with Rice, moving to the prosecutors who viewed this video and decided not to press charges, to the NFL and the Baltimore Ravens who took almost no action until it was clear that their attempt to blame Parker had blown up in their faces. Nevermind who saw which video and when, what do you think someone getting knocked unconscious entails? It's horrifying, no matter who is perpetrating it upon whom.

The whole concussions ordeal plays a part.

The Jonathan Martin bullying, racism, and organizational support for such actions plays a part.

But I guess it's really just my overall perception of the NFL today - it's out of control. This isn't about setting a good example for my kids (won't somebody think of the children?!). If I'm relying on the NFL to teach my kids about how to treat women and bullying and racism, I'm a failure as a parent. No, this is because IT'S JUST A FUCKING GAME! And we have adults across the country that are simply way too invested in this. John Walters said something really great today commenting on another media personality's comment about how (paraphrasing) she was struggling to reconcile her values and beliefs with her love for football. His response - you don't! Why do people feel the need to reconcile their values and beliefs with a freaking game?! I mean, I love soccer, but I'm probably going to pull my boy off his soccer team if their team name is the Little Hitlers and they're asked to wear adorable little mustaches.

America is way too addicted to the NFL, and there seems to be a notion that there is nothing we can do about it. But there are things we can do - turn off the tv, don't buy tickets, don't buy merchandise. The only thing the NFL listens to is money.

I love football. I love watching football. And I hope that the NFL can get their shit together enough so that I can watch and enjoy the games again without feeling like a horrible person or a spectator at the Coliseum in Rome. It's fall, the weather is nice, kids have soccer. I'm sure I can find something better to do than spend Sunday afternoon (and Monday night, and now Thursday night too because,  NFL) on the couch - unless of course, you know, Little Hitlers. Although the mustaches would remind me of a virile, young Ian Rush

Monday, September 08, 2014

2 Down, 10 to Go


Some quick thoughts 2 games into a surprisingly (so far) enjoyable Notre Dame football season.

Everett Golson
I can't say if ND would have dropped either of these first two games with Rees at the helm, but I can say they wouldn't have been as comfortable. There have been at least a half dozen plays each of the first two games that would've been crushing setbacks with Rees under center. Golson's ability to elude the rush and keep plays alive and then just toss a frozen rope is purely something that Rees was not capable of. I'm pleasantly surprised at how good he's been this early

DeVaris who?
I was really concerned about the receiving options when Daniels was suspended, but Fuller, Prosise (55yd drop not included), Carlisle, and Brown have been awesome. These new receivers have speed and hands and have been really fun to watch.

KeiVarae who?
I was equally concerned with losing potential All American corner back Russell, but Riggs and Luke have filled in so well this defense hasn't missed a beat. Granted, there hasn't exactly been a murderer's row of receiving opposition, but the secondary has acquitted itself nicely through two games.

BVG
Diaco was your prom date's dad. BVG is the guy you'd asked to buy beer for you after prom. There's no way ND is getting the contributions from the underclassmen with Diaco still in charge. There's also no way that BVG doesn't drive a Camaro, likely an IROC-Z.

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

I Believe


I
am proud of our team and its accomplishments in the 2014 World Cup. We survived the "Group of Death"™ and advanced for the 2nd straight time to the knockout stage. We played inspired football, and had a lot of memorable moments.  In perhaps the best example yet that American soccer has arrived, NOBODY wants America in their group and teams hate playing us. They know we are physical and will outrun them for the entire match.

I Believe
that Jurgen Klinsmann is one of the best coaches in the world, and the PERFECT coach for our team. Seemingly every button he pushed came up aces from roster selection to training to starters and subs. I even love his pressers and mind games. He's such a pro. We are in very good hands going forward in 2018 and hopefully 2022.

I Believe That
I will miss ESPN (did I just type that) and their coverage of future World Cups. They finally figured it out - except that whole Alexi Lalas mistake. Fox has the next two World Cups, and I hear Gus Johnson is the lead play-by-play guy. Look, I love his enthusiasm calling football or hoops, but the dude knows NOTHING about soccer. Please Fox, just port in the ESPN personalities and roll.

I Believe That We
will see a Copa America Centenario that is better than Euro 2016. All of South America will be in it, along with USA, Mexico and 4 other CONCACAF nations. This will give our MNT a real test leading into the next World Cup, something we have not had before. And it's all in the USA. I like our chances to advance deep. This may be a game changer for us. I think we MUST plan a family gathering around a venue and watch a couple games.

I Believe That We Will
be awarded the 2022 World Cup within the year. Whether it's impossible heat (averaging 115 right now during the World Cup),  outcry over 1000's of deaths from migrant laborers building stadiums, or the huge scandal rocking Qatar and FIFA regarding bribes, I think their bid is untenable. America is one of the few countries ready and willing to host the World Cup on almost a moments notice. It was our year anyway!

I Believe That We Will Win
a lot of games with many of the younger players on our current roster. Yedlin is going to be a stud. Green could finally be that creative genius we have lacked for creating goals. We have great young defenders, and our defense should be almost intact (without Beasley) in four years. Who knows who develops in the next four years, but MLS is slowly improving. I think we could have a roster that competes with almost anyone from a skill standpoint. I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Already the Best World Cup Ever?


We're 2 days in, and already I have noticed a HUGE difference in this years World Cup. Where do I start? Okay, Brazil. The time zones are perfect for us lazy US fans. All the games start in the afternoon and early evening. Imminently watchable. The visuals from around the stadiums are awesome. The fans are insane, and TONS of supporters from many of the teams have made the trip to liven it up. The crazy weather is fun to watch on TV. I also love all the unrest in the country, but we'll get back to my reasons for that later.

The coverage is next. ESPN has ditched their traditional broadcast team of a bunch of washed up American has beens. Now, they seemingly have a former superstar from every national team rotating in to the pre and post match coverage team. The game crews are top notch. Of course the glorious HD broadcasts are great. However, now I can watch every game on any computer, TV, smartphone, and I can even listen to them all on Sirius radio if I'm in the car!

Of course we then get to the play. The first 2 days of matches have been maybe the best I've ever watched. Wide open games, lots of shots, lots of scoring. Amazing goals. I still can't even believe that first goal by Robin van Persie. I've never seen anything like that. Heck, even a 1-0 win had 3 disallowed goals, so the score was a bit misleading. I also love the minor tech improvements to really improve the game. Goal line tech is long overdue. How about the spray foam to mark 10 yards on free kicks? Brilliant! I can't wait to see what's next. The only thing I pray for is a miracle run by USA to advance through the group stage.

A lastly, back to that unrest in Brazil. I think FIFA and the world are watching closely. Cost overruns, unfinished stadiums, grass that looks like a cow pasture (how do you not grow grass in the Amazon?), massive protests and transportation breakdowns. This all in the foreground, while in the background MASSIVE allegations are facing Qatar's bid for 2022. I think FIFA will eventually have to reopen bidding for 2022. No other country can be ready in time other than the USA. It isn't Europe's turn, so everything bad in Brazil leads toward USA 2022!!!

Oh one last thing, did I mention... NO VUVUZELAS!!!!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

This is Why We Don't Get Nice Things


Soccer scribes in the US are still up in arms over Landon Donovan getting cut from the World Cup. Here's why you need to take all that hyperbole with a grain of salt:
That could mean left back stays with Beasley, whose experience will be important to have somewhere on the field in pressure situations, especially without Landon Donovan in the squad. With wing players Alejandro Bedoya, Brad Davis, Julian Green and Graham Zusi all on the roster, Beasley would have a tough time cracking the midfield anyway.
Are you kidding me!? The USA needs Beasley's experience on the field like it needs a hole in the head. Wait, I take that back. If the USA needs the experience of a sub-par winger getting burned all day long at left back and forcing others to cover for him, Beasley is definitely the guy. So he's not good enough to crack the midfield against the likes of Bedoya, Brad Davis, and Zusi, but, sure, line him up against Ronaldo and Goetze. That should end well. The only worse possible choice at left back would be Jonathan Bornstein, and, thankfully, Klinsmann ended that nightmare immediately after taking the job.

I mean, really, experience is overrated to a large degree. The reason for Donovan and Beasley's breakout performances in South Korea was that they had little experience and, as a consequence, very low expectations. Those expectations would later derail Donovan's career and they drove Beasley into obscurity. There are a few must-have's in the US lineup:
  • You need Clint and his attitude.
  • You need Bradley and his vision, motor, and distribution.
There. That's it. Howard is maybe the next most valuable, but I watched enough EPL to be comfortable with Guzan. Anyone trying to sell you on experience - and using Beasley of all people as the example! - doesn't know what they're talking about.

Friday, May 23, 2014

So Long, And Thanks for All the Fish


I'll miss Landon, but you've got to move on and I understand the decision. His head just wasn't in the game anymore, and, apparently, his body wasn't either. Still probably the greatest sports-watching moment of my life...


Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Advice Needed


So the Commonwealth of Virginia happens to have what could be is undoubtedly the most awesome special interest license plate in the union, seen here


It is so awesome that I am seriously considering getting a new license plate just for this motif. The problem is the damn tea partiers have stolen the coiled snake as a sort of logo, never mind the fact that US Soccer claimed dibs years prior. So I need input on whether I should pull the trigger on this bad boy. Here's my thought process...

Pros
  • It is yellow
  • It has one of the most iconic and earliest anti-authority symbols in our nation's great history
  • It has a snake
  • Poor punctuation
  • 'Merica
  • Associations with US Soccer
  • It has a snake
  • It is the most awesome license plate ever
  • It has a snake!!!11!!1
  • YELLOW! SNAKES!
Cons
  • Tea Party has tried to claim this as their own
  • May erroneously be identified as Tea Partier
Pop quiz, hotshot. What do you do!? One option is to roll a vanity plate along with the DTOM to clearly separate myself from crazies, e.g.

 OR
 OR

So help me out, everyone. Is the risk worth the reward? Is there a better vanity phrase that would help create distance? Is the DTOM usage by Tea Party localized to the DC area and I'm overthinking this? Use the comments. If folks are on board, I'll go with the best suggestion and put the results up here, and on my car.

Saturday, March 01, 2014

TV Rennaisance


So we love to write movie posts on this blog (and believe me I have one in mind for the new Godzilla movie this summer), but we haven't jumped on the TV bandwagon yet. That changes today.

I'm not sure I understand why, but there has literally been an explosion of great shows on TV in the past 5 years, and almost all of that is on cable. The premises have become more interesting, cable allows more freedom to use language (and a little skin), and elite Hollywood movie stars are flocking to these shows. Shows that need a little room to grow are allowed to do so on cable, and often become great, rather than get cancelled on a network after 2 or 3 episodes.

The perfect example is Breaking Bad. Look, I'll admit I didn't watch this show. However, as the series came to its finale last year, the constant buzz piqued my interest. So I downloaded the series and worked my way through. Amazing! If this had been pitched to NBC, it would have never even gone to pilot. Another example right now is the HBO series True Detective. When's the last time the star of a currently airing TV show was also the frontrunner for best actor at the Oscars at the same time? Matthew McConaughey is in this.

More recently, top-flight shows are being produced by streaming services like Netflix and Amazon and released for streaming only, often an entire season at once. How in the world did Netflix make a TV series starring Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright, and how is House of Cards not on regular TV???

So I'll admit, I have not been a big TV watcher. Career, family and kids kind of get in the way of sitting in front of the TV for a scheduled show. However, streaming video and DVRs have made it a lot easier to watch shows. You can record and watch when you have time. Furthermore, how many shows have you skipped because you missed a few episodes or heard about them in season 3 or so? Now, you can download past episodes and seasons - often for free. So I was able to catch up with Breaking Bad and didn't miss out on the phenomenon. I did the same with The Walking Dead.

So am I alone here? Do you all find yourselves watching more of these top notch TV/streaming shows? Here are a few that I watch and can strongly recommend. I am or have watched all of these. It might seem like a lot, but the beauty is you don't have to spend every minute watching them. You can focus on one series on your own time, while the others record or are saved. Then you move on. I know there are so many more, so I'd love to hear any new recommendations.

Network
  • The Blacklist: James Spader; best show on network TV
  • The Following: Kevin Bacon; very dark
  • Almost Human: Karl Urban; comedy/sci-fi/cop blend that works because of Urban
Cable
  • The Walking Dead: The top rated show on all TV, including networks
  • Breaking Bad: Over now, but you HAVE to watch it. Even Ali totally addicted.
  • Game of Thrones: The biggest spectacle on TV
  • True Detective: Woody Harrelson amd McConaughey; cops after serial killer
 Streaming
  • House of Cards: great political drama; Spacey was born for this role

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Deodorant, Part III


I made a deodorant switch recently, so logically my first thought was to post about it on the old family blog. I vaguely remember the blog discussing deodorant usage, so I did quick search and viola, this will be the third Heffernan blog post discussing deodorant.  What does this say about our family, why do we find this so important, is that a raccoon on my lawn?  All important questions to tackle another day.

So, I like to think that I don't sweat much.  This led me to the conclusion that I could make the switch from an antiperspirant and deodorant to a deodorant only.  Ted had advocated this switch in the past, so I decided to try it out for myself.  With all due respect to Ted, this did not work well for me.  I know his theory is that the alcohol in the deodorant slowly kills sweat glands over time with usage, but that is a transition I simply do not have the time to take.

After using deodorant for a few weeks I found myself rather ripe after performing very little. In fact, I had to buy a new antiperspirant and deodorant and ditch my recent deodorant purchase. I feel it is my duty to inform the world that the deodorant only path did not work out for Colin.  But I am not disheartened.  I learned an important lesson: I sweat more than I thought, and thus get super smelly if I don't use an antiperspirant and deodorant product.  Maybe one day I will try deodorant again, but alas, that day is not today.  That is all.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Kevin's LASIK - UPDATE (1 week)


One week into my life after LASIK, and I had my first eye doctor appointment.  Here's the brief update:

  • I have 20/20 vision in my right eye
  • I have 20/25 vision in my left eye
  • I have a slight astigmatism in my left eye which is causing a very slight blurring effect.  I can read up close and far away, but combined with the halo effect it makes written words appear to have a shadow.  It is likely (80-90%) that over the next 2 weeks to 2 months the astigmatism will go away as my cornea heals and flattens out.  Even if it doesn't, it's not so bad that my life would be limited or I would need corrective lenses.  
  • The halo effect has decreased, but is still very noticeable at night.  Night driving in the rain is not advised.
  • All pain, discomfort, and burning sensations are gone, and have been since Day 2.
  • My eyes are still dry, but not to the extent that I always remember to put in my required hourly artificial tears.  
  • On those rare occasions when I touch my closed eye, it is still very tender to the touch or to pressure.
  • My eyes at night get tired earlier.  It's the same feeling you have when you've worn contacts too long, but in this case, I can't take out my contacts.
So overall, this LASIK thing has so far proved to be pretty awesome.  My eye doctor doesn't have any concerns, and it is now extremely unlikely that any complications will result from my LASIK.  It is also unlikely that I'll have to wear corrective lenses for nearsightedness.

Feel free to be jealous.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Kevin's LASIK




LASIK!

I finally got Teresa’s approval and shelled out the buck$$$ and got LASIK done for both my eyes.  Here’s my story…

Prior to LASIK:
I had to fill three prescriptions and buy a bunch of preservative-free eye drops.  The three prescriptions are for a eye steroid to fight infection, another steroid to reduce inflammation, and Xanax for the day of surgery.  Other than that, there really was nothing that I had to do before surgery, except fill out a bunch of forms.

Day of LASIK:
My appointment was at 1:20, and I would be at the LASIK center (TLC Lasik in Dublin, OH).  I took the entire day off and got a few things done around the house.  I picked up Teresa from work around 1:30, and we went for a lunch together (sans children), which was nice.  I had no anxiety, but Teresa assumed I would never see again, so it was nice for calming her nerves.  I arrived at the center at 1PM (I like to be early), checked in, filled out some more forms, and found out that the Xanax was optional, and only if I wanted to take it.  I didn’t want to take it, so I didn’t (waste of a prescription). 

I got taken back to prep for surgery around 1:20.  Prep involved a quick eye check by the LASIK doctor (Dr. Boyle), a bunch of info about what to expect, a bunch of eye drops for numbing my eyes and preventing infection (something like 5 different drops in each eye over a period of 10 minutes), and then just hanging out.  I got taken back into the actual LASIK room probably around 1:50.

NOTE:  if squeamish, you will want to skip the next paragraph
The LASIK room smells and sounds like a data center (e.g., climate controlled, computer fans, slight smell of electric current passing through silicon).  The LASIK (picture below) has a bed that you lay out and your head swivels under two machines.  The first is a laser that cuts open your cornea to create a “flap” on the top of the cornea that can be folded back.  This is actually the most painful part, because a device applies pressure to your eyes to hold it in place for the laser.  This is the only time during the surgery where my vision was lost for any period of time, and this was mostly because of the pressure on my eye.  Before anything was done, I had devices put in my eye so that the lids couldn’t close.  They did each eye independently and taped shut the opposite eye when the other was having the flap created.  Once both eyes had their “flaps” created, I was swiveled under the other side of the machine.  This was the LASIK laser, which simply reshaped the remainder of the cornea under the flap to refocus the light passing through.  It lasted about 30 second for each eye.  After the reshaping was done, Dr. Doyle used a tear-like solution and a very gentle brush to wash my cornea’s and remove any debris the laser had created when ablating my corneas.  This was the weird part, because I could see her doing this but couldn’t feel it.  It didn’t hurt at all, but it tickled when she touched any part of my eye not numbed by the drops (e.g., eye lashes, eye lids).  Finally, Dr. Doyle folded back my “flaps”, which, much like contacts, stuck to my eyes by suction.  No sutures are necessary to secure the flaps; however, rubbing the eyes and any contact with the eyes is strictly forbidden for a week, because touching the eyes and move the “flaps” and cause them to fold open or move.  The “flaps” won’t move on their own, and heal shut within 24-72 hours, and will completely heal back in something like 1-4 weeks.

 Here's the process in a pictorial format:

 This is the LASIK machine that I was under

Immediately after LASIK
My vision was fixed, kind of.  I could see as soon as I got up, but everything was foggy.  Think of looking through a really dirty windshield in your car.  Yeah, you can see, but any light has a halo-effect to it, and the details are all a little vague.  This is because tears and moisture got under the “flaps” and need to be absorbed.  Once they are this effect goes away.  Also, while my vision was much improved, at first I knew that I didn’t have 20/20 vision.  In fact, my right eye could see much better than my left.  I was kind of pissed.  However, the numbing drops were wearing off, and I didn’t want to have my eyes open anymore. 

I was told to go home and nap for four hours, because I would experience “discomfort” and maybe some “burning” in my eyes and the nap would help promote healing.  To say that I was grumpy was an understatement.  Teresa, bless her heart, drove me home, after a detour to pick up the kids from Daycare.  Here’s what I was dealing with during that 45 minutes:

-         Discomfort – Imagine wearing contacts (or not) and getting something in your eye.  Something big.  In both your eyes.  At the same time.  And not being able to rub your eye, remove your contacts, or do anything about it.  It was so damned annoying!
-         Burning – Here’s an idea, take normal tap water, mix it with some soap, and put that in your eye.  The burning sensation was kind of like that.
-         Nausea – I didn’t want to open my eyes, because it felt better to close them.  However, riding in a car that was wobbling and moving was making me somewhat nauseous.  Then I open my eyes, and my vision is totally different than what I’ve ever experienced, which makes me nauseous.  Needless to say, I made it home just in time. 

I got home at 3PM, put on the sweet goggles they give you so you don’t touch your eyes inadvertently when you sleep, and went to the guest room to lay down.  I prayed to fall asleep and finally did.  I woke up around 5:30, with my eyes only slight less “discomforted” and “burning”.  Teresa came up and asked if I wanted dinner, to which I very un-patiently responded I didn’t (did I mention she was awesome?), and decided to roll over and stay in bed until 6:30.  At some point, Dr Doyle called my cell phone to check on me, and actually left her cell phone number to call in case of problems (what a swell doctor!).  I fell asleep again, and when I woke up at 6:52 two things dawned on me:  1)  I could see the alarm clock from four feet away! and 2) the discomfort and burning were gone.  Yeah, there was still some discomfort, but whereas before I wanted to gouge my eyes out, now I just wanted to put in some drops and wash it away.  Also, all traces of nausea were gone (thank God).

 I have no idea who the girl is, but she's wearing the LASIK goggles.  Picture courtesy of the "Internet"

Night of LASIK
You’re not supposed to read books or strain your eyes, but TV is OK.  I sat with the kiddos and Teresa, all of which were very happy that “Daddy the grouchy bear” was gone.  We watched some TV and I applied my three sets of drops (steroids, anti-inflammatory, and tears), and then did tears as often as possible.  My vision was still foggy, but I could see pretty well.  I still noticed that my right eye was better then my left, but as long as the burning and discomfort were gone, I was ok with it.  I went to bed around 10PM, put on my sweet goggles, and slept pretty well.

The morning after LASIK
I woke up to Sam and Ryan coming down the stairs and into out room, looked easily over at Teresa’s alarm clock (did I mention that’s really cool?!), and got out of bed at 6:47am.  I had a follow-up appointment at 9:10am that we’d all be going to.  My vision that morning was much better, less foggy, though there still was some “halo-effect” happening.  But I could see very well, and while my eyes were dry, I used all my drops to get them going.  Nearly all of the discomfort was gone, and no burning remained at all.  Most of the discomfort was because I could feel my eyes were dry.  The tear-drops helped that, and I used them frequently. 

I got to my doctor appointment, sat in front of the reading charts, and for the first time ever, without corrective lenses, I saw the chart.  I read the bottom lines of the charts with each eye and together, getting a “that’s really excellent” for my eye doctor.  She didn’t tell me what my vision was at the time, saying that it would continue to progress and likely at that point would only get better or at worse stay the same.  She did mention that I have a couple of spots, one in each eye, that are very dry.  I am to continue using all the drops I have at the regular times, and they should clear up on their own.  If they don’t clear up by themselves, it is possible I may need to have another procedure to address those spots because they could affect my vision long-term.  I have a follow-up on Thursday to take a further look.

Personal thoughts:
First, my eyes are dry and I use drops a lot.  I used to hate putting drops in my eyes and was horrible at it.  Literally, 24 hours after this procedure and I’m a pro, putting drops in my eyes whenever I need to and not really batting an eye about it (literally and figuratively).  My current thoughts are that I should have done this sooner, and I’m very happy I did it.  My vision looks to be on its way to getting to 20/20, so I’m wicked excited about that.  I don’t know how to describe the pleasure of being able to see without wearing contacts or glasses – those of you who don’t have to deal with that are lucky as hell.  Those of you who do have to deal with those, I recommend the LASIK. 

Here’s what you need to have for the procedure:
1)      Thick enough corneas that it can be done.  Your annual eye appointment will be able to tell you if you are a candidate
2)      The ability to stomach people mucking around with lasers in your eye.  The forms I signed basically said I was screwed if something went wrong.  All risks are explained up-front, so you do it at your own risk.
3)      Around $4-5K for the procedure.  Most places will take credit, so at least you get the points out of it.  I also maxed out my healthcare savings account to pay for it ($2,500 is my FSA maximum).  That saves you some cash out of pocket.
4)      Commitment to using drops for the next 3-12 months.  Steroid and anti-inflammatory drops are done after a wear, but the artificial tears get used for as long as you need, and they aren’t that cheap.
5)      Keep in mind that the condition that requires reading glasses (presbyopia) cannot be corrected by any LASIK procedures.  It’s hell to get old.
6)      Find a good place to have it done.  As long as I continue to get my annual eye appointments, I’ll have a warrantee for my LASIK procedure.  If my eyes degrade over time, I can potentially get my LASIK center to do another procedure to fix it.  There’s all kinds of caveats on this, but I plan to keep the warrantee anyways. 

In parting, a buddy of mine had a great idea too – he gets corrective lenses per his vision insurance every year (as most of us do).  Instead of contacts of glasses, he just uses the money towards a nice pair of sunglasses.  He purchases them through his eye doctor, but since he gets about $120 for corrective lenses, he gets a pretty sweet pair of Nike shades every year.  I plan on taking full advantage of this fact this week!



Monday, January 06, 2014

This Sounds Pretty Cool


ESPN with some pretty awesome coverage options for the BCS title game tonight, as outlined in detail over at si.com. My favorite of the viewing options:

ESPN Classic will have a "Sounds of the BCS" presentation, which will be absent of play-by-play. The broadcast will capture the natural sound of the Rose Bowl from 72 microphones (USA Today reported that is 30 more than a normal broadcast).

The best televised sports viewing experience I ever had was when TNT did a gimmick NBA game with a mic'd camera at court level in each corner and no announcers. It was truly like being at the game. There was so much more awareness of the size and speed of the athletes that even though I don't really like NBA I couldn't turn it off.

I hope all other sports broadcasters are paying attention. Almost everyone now has multiple channel outlets like ESPN - Fox has a million, so does NBC. I will watch this game with no announcers tonight. I will watch the hell out of it. And any time a broadcaster gives me such an option I will always choose this for viewing - the only exception being a soccer game called by Sir Ian Darke.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

The Rock-afire Explosion


My basement is ready for Colin... Just in time for next Thanksgiving!

I fondly recall our family trips to eat pizza and play video games. I think there have been various forms, and Chucky Cheese is perhaps the last man standing in this dying breed of restaurant. However, our pizza place of choice was Showbiz Pizza. Showbiz Pizza had it all: fresh-made pizza to chow down, skee-ball to win tickets, a giant ball pit to secretly punch the friends you hated, video games to eat your quarters and most of all A GIANT ANIMATRONIC ANIMAL BAND  THAT SCARED COLIN TO TEARS! Yes, Showbiz Pizza was called by all adults, "The Screaming Place".

So apparently, since Showbiz has gone down the drain, their old bands, The Rock-afire Explosion, are now available. UPDATE!!! I much prefer this version of 1,000,000 by Nine Inch Nails! It also features the gorilla that was Colin's favorite, Fatz Geronimo. So watch and laugh - unless you're Colin. In that case, cry. Be careful about showing this video to Mia, because I'm almost certain fear of animatronic animal bands is an inherited autosomally dominant genetic trait!