The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Verizon - revisited


Ha, ha, ha! Ian posted about the release of the iPhone for Verizon earlier this year. There was a lively series of comments, with the general consensus being that if you want a Verizon iPhone, wait for the upcoming iPhone 5 (turned out to be 4S) and then pounce.

Among the comments, I spoke my peace regarding the typical complaints about the AT&T network. To save you a click, I will paste them here:
The whole ATT network thing is a joke. ATT has the biggest, most robust network in the US. No other network would have been able to handle the iPhone when it first released. Every network has some dead spots. Sounds like Ian lives in one. I for one have never had a dropped call when I had 2 or more bars. Ever. I think a ton of people were just pissed that they had to choose ATT for an iPhone and they have just been very vocal. I can't wait to hear all the Verizon iPhone users bitch and moan starting in about a month. They'll have something to complain about because that's all they've done for over 2 years.

I am actually excited about Verizon for a different reason. Now all these complainers will leave ATT and I'll get better data connections at big events - the biggest issue I have with my phone. I love checking scores while at a game. O also love sending texts and pics from games.
So I laughed OUT LOUD today when I read the following headline story on CNET:

Verizon's network suffers third outage this month


That's America's "most reliable network!" I'm sure there are no dropped calls though.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

MVP


I watched Monday Night Football last night with Ali and her Dad. It was perhaps the first time in history that Ali has watched an entire MNF game. Why? because the Saints needed a win to clinch the division, and Drew Brees was going for Dan Marino's 27 year-old all-time season passing yardage record. Along with 76,000 Superdome fans, Brees has my vote for MVP.

I turned on the radio briefly at lunch today and caught the Colin Cowherd fill-ins on ESPN, Mike Hill and Michael Smith (it takes two hosts to fill Cowherds big shoes). They were in the middle of a discussion on the MVP, and I was interested to hear their take on Aaron Rodgers vs. Brees. Low and behold, I was shocked to hear Mike Hill claiming that (wait for it) Cam Newton was the MVP!!!!!!

Are you f-ing kidding me? Is this some strange extension of the Rooney Rule? Look, Newton is a good QB, and he has exceeded ALL expectations this year. However, not only is he NOT an MVP candidate - he isn't even rookie of the year. Newton plays for a crappy Panthers team that is 6-9. He has no other weapons and every play goes like this: shotgun, read #1 receiver, read #2 receiver, nobody open, tuck and run. The Panthers are always behind, and he is always passing. So his stats to me are meaningless.


As Coach Willingham said it so famously, YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! While I love Brees, I have no problem giving MVP to Rodgers. The Pack is 14-1 and they beat the Saints. However, if Newton wins rookie of the year over Andy Dalton, I will shit a football helmet. They have comparable passing stats, with Newton having an extra category with his rushing. The difference:
  • Dalton has four 4th quarter comeback wins!
  • Very few late mistakes, closing out other victories. (Damn Pittsburgh)
  • Dalton has led the Bengals to a 9-6 record, one win away from a playoff spot.

Is there any other debate? There's fantasy football and reality football. Cam Newton may be rookie of the year in fantasy football, but Dalton is the ROOKIE OF THE YEAR.


Monday, December 19, 2011

Trailer Heaven


Big week for Hollywood. They are starting to roll out the trailers for the mega-blockbusters which will surely make 2012 the biggest grossing year in the history of cinema. You can check out my previous post listing the amazing lineup of movies in 2012 here:

2012 - Hollywood Goes Out with a Bang

After you start to salivate, head over to iTunes for the action. Already available:
  • Avengers
  • MIB 3
  • The Amazing Spider-Man

Coming this week, HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS!

  • The Dark Knight Rises
  • Prometheus
  • The Hobbit

Seriously, those three movies together will make about $2 billion next year. If you aren't so excited that you haven't already stopped reading this and clicked over, I don't know what else to say.


Monday, December 12, 2011

Holy Tebow!


I know it's overkill at this point, but the Denver Tebows winning ways just continue to boggle the mind. Since taking over QB duties full-time in week 7, the Broncos have gone 7-1. Seems like Tebow may actually be a viable NFL quarterback! Before signing on though, let's take a look at each of those games.

Week 7 @ Miami
WIN: 18 - 15
Playing one of the worst teams in the NFL this year, Tebow leads two 4th quarter touchdown drives to take the game into overtime, where the Broncos win on a 52-yard Matt Prater field goal.

Week 8 Detroit
LOSS: 45 - 10
Shellacked!

Week 9 @ Oakland
WIN: 38 - 24
Denver gets Oakland in Carson Palmer's first start after joining the Raiders in week 7.

Week 10 @ Kansas City
WIN: 17 - 10
The Chiefs lose starting quarterback Matt Cassell for the season midway through the game.

Week 11 New York Jets
WIN: 17 - 10
Big win at home against a Jets team that was playing on a shortened week after getting plastered on Sunday night by the Patriots.

Week 12 @ San Diego
WIN: 16 - 13
Matt Prater with a game-tying 4th quarter field goal, then the game winner with 29 seconds left in overtime after San Diego had missed a 53-yard attempt earlier in OT. This would be San Diego's sixth straight loss.

Week 13 @ Minnesota
WIN: 35 - 32
Another 4th quarter comeback and game-winning field goal from Matt Prater as the Broncos knock-off a Minnesota team playing without Adrian Peterson.

Week 14 Chicago
WIN: 13 - 10
Another 4th quarter comeback. Another game-tying Matt Prater field goal (this one from 59-yards). Another game-winner from Prater from 51-yards. The Bears were led by Caleb Hanie and without Matt Forte. Also, Marion Barber inexplicably RAN OUT OF BOUNDS after picking up a first down with Chicago leading, Denver out of timeouts, and under two minutes left to play allowing time for Prater's game-tying field goal.

Here's my take - winning is hard to do in the NFL no matter who you are and who you're playing. So I give Tebow kudos for the Bronco's current run. But I have two big caveats:

  1. Matt Prater is the real hero here with multiple game-tying and game-winning field goals from 50+ yards. During their current run, Prater has accounted for 54 of Denver's 164 points. And, aside from the explosions against Oakland and Minnesota which accounted for 73 of those 164 points, Denver has failed to score more than 18 points in any game since Tebow took over.
  2. Tebow has been helped by one of the weakest scheduling runs I can ever recall, facing either horrible teams or ones just recently suffering massive injuries to their best players. Just look at this list:
    1. @ Miami, who were 0-5 coming in
    2. Crushed by a competent Detroit
    3. @ Oakland, who had just lost their starting QB
    4. @ KC, who lost their starting QB during the game
    5. NYJ - decent win, but an infamously bad offensive team
    6. @ San Diego, who had lost 5 straight coming in
    7. @ Minnesota, who had just lost Adrian Peterson
    8. @ Chicago, helmed by Caleb Hanie and without Matt Forte
This week Tebow will face a decent team for the first time since the Lions in week 8 when they host the Patriots. I expect a bad loss. But then Denver gets the hapless Bills and another run at Tyler Palko-led (yes, THE Tyler Palko) Kansas City.

Again, winning in the NFL is hard. And lots of teams are beat up at this point in the season so that's hardly an excuse. So while Denver probably wouldn't be on this tear if, say, I was their quarterback, Tebow has certainly been given the reigns at a fortuitous moment in time. It's a fun story to follow and debate, even if the games themselves couldn't be less boring to watch until the last 5 minutes.



Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Now or Never


The MLB winter meetings are going on right now in Dallas. This is traditionally the time where big free agents are signed, and GMs get together to talk trades. While all the news from Dallas revolves around the Marlins signing Reyes and going HARD after Pujols, Walt Jocketty has quietly been working his mojo.

The Reds are in DIRE need of two big components: a front-line starting pitcher and a right-handed outfielder who has some pop to hit in the middle of the order. After 2010, I thought the Reds were on their way to being perennial playoff contenders with their core of young talent. However, I was greatly dismayed when Jocketty failed to make even one substantial off-season move. If the Reds are serious about winning the NL Central, they cannot stand by without making a couple moves. We've got no chance if we do.

So for Christmas, I would like to ask St. Walt to bring us:

James Shields, SP, TB
Shields MUST be a Red. He is an ace pitcher who was an all-star in 2011 for the Rays. He got hot late and carried them into the playoffs. He induces groundballs, K's a lot of batters, and is an AL guy whom NL hitters have not faced. To top it off, he is under contract through 2014 at reasonable salaries of $7.5M, $9M and $12M. what's more, the Rays need prospects at positions we've got, making for a good trade partner. We have got to get him!

Josh Willingham, LF, OAK
This guy is THE perfect fit to solve so many of our problems. He plays LF, our perennial platoon position. He hits R, a weakness in our lineup. He hit 4th for most of the season - perfect right behind Votto! He hits for power, and is a pretty good fielder. He's a free agent and made $6M last year. He could be pricy, and there is a lot of interest in him. However, we let Cordero go, freeing up a lot of cash. This is the type of guy that the Reds are always going after, but NEVER get. I am still pissed we didn't go harder after Matt Holliday in 2009. We could have won it all in 2010 with him in the lineup!

Sign these two and we are GOOD for 2012. There are some other interesting options at pitcher around the league, but not many other OFs that would fit the bill. Without Willingham, we likely have to give Alonso a try at RF for the year.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Chumps Sports Bowl


Yippeeeeee! Another amazing Bowl for Notre Dame, following up our prestigious turn in the Hyundai Sun Bowl in El Paso last year, this year we head to Orlando for the exciting Champs Sports Bowl. Actually the matchup is interesting, but yet again we have scheduled ourselves out of a chance at the BCS.

College football is not the same as when ND was dominant in the 70's through 90's. The "barnstorming" mentality of playing anyone is great in principle, but in reality it will surely kill our chances at a BCS title. I know it may be an unpopular opinion, but Irish fans HAVE GOT TO GET THEIR HEADS OUT OF THE SAND!

I would like to present to you the 2011 BCS Lineup:
TEAM:   SOS(rank) / vs TOP 10 / vs TOP 30
Rose Bowl
WISC: 70.00(58) / 0-0 / 3-1
OREG: 73.40(29) / 1-1 / 2-2
Fiesta Bowl
STAN: 72.46(36) / 0-1 / 3-1
OKST: 80.28(6) / 2-0 / 6-1
Sugar Bowl
MICH: 71.77(42) / 0-0 / 2-1
VATECH: 70.04(56) / 0-0 / 0-2
Orange Bowl
WVU: 68.90(67) / 0-1 / 0-1
CLEM: 71.44(44) / 0-0 / 3-1
BCS Title
LSU: 76.01(18) / 3-0 / 4-0
ALA: 74.27(23) / 1-1 / 2-1
*****************************
ND: 73.83(26) / 0-1 / 1-3
This is literally a JOKE! There are schools that literally SCHEDULED their spot into the BCS this year. Look at VaTech. How they get an at-large is beyond me. They didn't play one Top 10 team, and didn't have a win against a Top 30 team! And WVU? They played a Top 10 team and lost. But that was it. They didn't even win the Big East. They tied, and got in by their ranking. Michigan an at-large? Come on! I didn't even bother to go through the cupcakes the teams that actually deserved a BCS spot played non-conference.

Did ND have a "murderer's row" this year? No. But we still played a more deserving schedule than most of those teams. The way I see it, we have two choices:

1) Remain independent and water down the schedule.
I'm not saying play D2 schools or C-USA teams. Just avoid lining up OK, USC, UM, Miami, MSU, Stanford in ONE SEASON (see next year)!!! Seriously, if we beat USC and Michigan in a season and then play a couple mid-majors and a few lower tier BCS schools, we would be 12-0 and absolutely in a BCS Championship. Heck, if we win 10 games and lose those 2 to USC and Michigan, we would get an at-large bid anyway! That's what VaTech, WVU and Michigan did!

2) Join a conference and keep our USC and Navy rivalries.
This would be a better option, in my opinion. No excuses about the schedule. We still play an elite non-conf team in USC, and we would have a better shot at the BCS as an at-large with an easier schedule AND a potential automatic bid if we win the conference. Wait, we don't win the conference? Then at least we get a Bowl tie-in, and don't have to scramble for scraps and hope other conferences don't have enough eligible teams to fill their Bowls.

Can you say ACC??? It's working out great for VaTech and Clemson!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Ender's Game: The Movie!!!


My all-time favorite sci-fi book is Ender's Game. Many would quickly agree, as it was recently ranked #3 all-time for sci-fi/fantasy by NPR in a reader's poll. I have probably read it 10 times, and I even listened to an audiobook performance in my car the past year while commuting to work one week.

Since it was published in 1985, Orson Scott Card has kept tight control over the rights to the book, and has squashed many, many, many, many, many attempts to adapt the film to the big screen. I have followed these developments occasionally, as blog's and websites are devoted to the book and "Enderverse". It seems that OSC has a vision of the film that requires CHILD actors of a multinational pedigree. Previous adaptations have tried to make Ender a teen with angst and relationships - to sell to the public. Thank God OSC has resisted.

So it was with great joy that I read today that Ender's Game has been greenlit for production by Summit Entertainment! The official release date is March 15, 2013. Asa Butterfield has been officially signed to play Ender, and they are going for a heavy hitter as Col. Graff, with Harrison Ford mentioned prominently. I have to say that pics of Asa look pretty close to what I have envisioned Ender to look like, even if he is closer in age (14) to Ender at the end of the book.

I don't think this movie could have ever been made without Harry Potter. That group of child actors pulled off what OSC is looking for in Ender's Game. I have also heard an interview by OSC in which he says the breakthrough in the movie script was his later release of Ender's Shadow. Combining the two narratives from different perspectives allows for a more audience friendly movie. I hope they don't screw this one up. I will be watching closely to see how it comes along. Obviously, CGI will be required, but let's hope they keep it realistic.

ps: If you haven't already... GO READ THE BOOK!!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I Needed This


After a troubling week with news out of Happy Valley, this is just the thing I needed to restore my faith in humanity.


Penn State Scandal


Here is a record of my reactions as the Penn State scandal unfolded...

  1. Shock (as in, "Holy shit, this is horrible")
  2. Disgust
  3. Nausea
  4. Anger
  5. Shock (as in, "Holy shit, I can't believe how poorly Penn State is handling this")
  6. Selfish relief (as in, "Thank god it wasn't Notre Dame and involving a priest")
  7. Annoyance (when Paterno announced his retirement after the season ended, telling the BoT not to worry about little old him. Fuck you, JoPa)
  8. Appeasement - they did the right thing in firing Spanier and Paterno, effective immediately
  9. Embarassment - at some people's reaction to how Paterno was fired v. their reaction to the details found in the grand jury document
  10. Relief (as in, "Thank god this horror show is over")
  11. Curiosity (as in, "What the hell is going to happen at the game Saturday")
At the end of the day, here's my take on things - Adults in positions of power witnessed firsthand or knew of children being sexually abused by other adults in positions of power and not only did not intervene or do anything to help, they tried to cover it up and allowed it to continue. The action taken is the bare minimum to punish those involved. Sending every one of them to jail for life and closing the entire fucking university would be justified in my mind.

UPDATE: Upon further reflection maybe closing the whole university would be a bit extreme. Now, shutting down the football program? That seems more fair...

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Derp de Derp


Awesome.

I'm glad there's someone else out there that sees how completely irrational the vast majority of the Notre Dame fan base has become. Just checking my watch here... yep, 2011, not 1941.

Monday, October 31, 2011

For the Record



  1. I like Brian Kelly. I like what's he's doing with the ND football program and I like the way he's handled every adverse situation that has popped up during his tenure with a even-keel and level head. He's making individuals, himself included, accountable rather than making excuses. That's a winning recipe.
  2. I like the modernization of the ND football experience. I like them piping in music - it definitely made things appear crazier the last two weeks on television.
  3. I am 100% in favor of field turf. Oklahoma has a pretty good football tradition too, I hear, and they seem okay with field turf. At the pro level, there's some team in Green Bay that also uses the stuff. Seems well-suited for poor climates.
  4. I am 100% in favor of a Jumbotron. It will keep the crowd involved and more active during NBC's interminable television timeouts.
  5. I like the "new" gold helmets. To hell with the traditions of student managers - that dates back to the athletic department being too cheap to pay for getting helmets painted and repaired. Now, they just need matching pants.
  6. I like ND blowing out the service academies - they should manhandle those guys and hang 50+ on them every year.
  7. I like Dayne Crist. He seems like a great teammate and he's got one helluva arm. He's just a terrible quarterback.
  8. I don't like NBC. Mayock is bearable, but Tom Hammonds scares me with his giant head. Flutie - ill-fitting suits and all - is terrible in the studio. He brings nothing to the table.
  9. I don't like the fact that the student union can't standardize on a single color for "The Shirt" and the ND stadium looks like a refugee camp week after week while the crowds for Penn State, Alabama, and Wisconsin look like a unified force. Feel free to mess with the design, but just pick freaking color and stick with it.
  10. I don't think ND needs to or should join a conference for football. No conference is safe. A team agrees to join, then renegs and goes elsewhere a week later. Conferences provide no safety, security, or stability. You're always one team away from the whole freaking thing collapsing which would leave ND... right back where they are today.
  11. I (really, really, really) don't like the tired alumni complaints about the "glory days" and the changes being made or even mentioned. 

Here's the bottom line. ND hasn't had a team contend for a national championship in 18 years. Like it or not, ND football has been largely irrelevant since the advent of the BCS. That means the very players being recruited have NO IDEA of the ND "traditions". They see the Nike teams in their flashy uniforms that change every week. They see the insane locker rooms and facilities at Oregon and Oklahoma State. I'm not suggesting that ND go to these extremes, mainly because I hate those Nike uniforms, but they need to level the playing field. ND can't sell recruits on locale and weather, and they certainly can't sell them on winning. The entire college football landscape has changed so radically from the last time ND truly was competitive that it needs to progress. If that means making changes and risking alienating portions of the fan base, I'm fine with that. If that's what it takes to win, do it. We'll get new fans, the subway alum don't care either way, and I have a sinking suspicion that those very fans who were bitching will come running back after a single successful season.

I follow ND, the Bengals, and the Reds. I need a winning team. Help me, Brian Kelly. You're my only hope...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Oh. My. God.


I love Notre Dame's football uniforms. They are so incredibly good looking, and the color combo just gets the blood pumping. Especially the home blues. However, there is one aspect of the uniform that I have absolutely HATED for over a decade. The helmets.

Take a look at the amazing gold tone and paint on the fabulous Holtz-era helmets.

Look at the shine. You can just see the real gold paint caked on there. Remember the huge scratches and gashes that Zorich, Alm and Bettis would get on them? They just looked awesome.

Now we are stuck with these crappy helmets.

Gone is the luster and shine that I recall and love. They have been replaced by some plastic composite material. They still get a layer of gold paint, but they just lost the magic. Is it coincidence that the luster of our football program has faded along with the luster of our helmets? I think not.

I have been clamoring for years for Notre Dame to shit-can their current helmets and bring back the shimmer that our helmets once had. I have often used Ohio State as an example. Their helmets are silver, but they absolutely glow under the lights and bright sun. Sure, they don't paint them, but somehow, they use a material that just looks awesome.

Finally, someone has heard my cries!!! When asked about green jerseys for the big game against USC this weekend, Jack Swarbrick was very coy and refused to answer. He only stated that he had some ideas for pumping up the crowd Saturday night but “I’m not going to share what they are at this time.”

Well, I am proud to announce that I have figured out at least one of Swarbrick's surprises. Notre Dame will unveil all new helmets!!!!!

Look at that shine. Can you imagine how good these are going to look under the lights? The players are going to run through the walls of the locker room when they see these for the first time! I hope to God these are permanent replacements and not just a one-time gimmick. I am so pumped for this game that I can't sit still. I'll be there in the stadium cheering for our glorious victory. For now, you'll have to excuse me. I've got to go watch Rudy, play the fight song, get into a 3-point stance and tackle Ava!


The League


If you aren't watching The League, you are missing out. This show is over-the-top hilarious. Roughly centered around a group of "friends" that play fantasy football, it delves into insanity week after week. It takes the time-tested approach of crazy, diverging story lines that somehow all come together in the end. Airing on FX allows for a big upgrade to the debauchery over broadcast networks, although not at HBO levels.

Typically, the show gets a few football stars to make cameos, including this year's season opener tribute to the Super Bowl Shuffle. However, the show must be doing well, because big name stars are starting to show up. Seth Rogan was a porno director this season in the first episode. Now, Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Silverman will guest star in a special Thanksgiving episode.

Set your DVR and give it a shot. We'll have a viewing at Thanksgiving now, so catch up on your episodes!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Who Dey!




Rumor has it that the Bengals are going to be unloading Carson Palmer to the Oakland Raiders for one first-round pick in 2012, and either a first- or second-round pick in 2013. Also included in the deal would be Oakland picking up a good chunk of the remainder of Palmer's contract.

I know Mike Brown has a lot of pride and usually works to intentionally screw Cincinnati, but this is a stupidly easy decision to make. Getting rid of a cancer- (ahem) I mean, player, like Palmer is a good think. Andy Dalton is no John Elway, but he's doing well enough so far. The Bengals are leaning on a stalwart defense and Dalton doesn't have to make plays. So current logic says don't screw things up and put Palmer back in a Bengals uniform, because that will only hurt the team.

By getting two very good draft picks in 2012 and 2013, the Bengals will be able to shore up position needs very nicely. I'm sure they'll be able to find some decent players to fill gaps. Cedric Benson isn't getting any younger, and they could also use one of these picks to trade up and get a big name like Quinton Coples, Michael Floyd, Trent Richardson, or any number of DEs from the SEC.

On top of it all, Oakland looks to pick up the bulk of the remainder of Palmer's contract, about $6 million worth. I don't know about anyone else, but it sounds like a no-brainer. You get a clean break with a worn-out, cantankerous player, and you get rewarded by future talent and current money. Mike Brown, don't be a dummy! Do the deal!

Friday, October 14, 2011

twitter mania


i updated the blog to have a widget with my twitter updates. if anyone objects let me know and i can remove it, but beware, you will miss out on awesomeness. i actually originally included the tweets all of heffernans/labuttas with a twitter account, but removed that, since some people have private twitter feeds. if you want in on the action, let me know.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wow! Just Wow.


It is 100% clear at this point that college football is FUBAR. Players being thrown cash and women during recruiting. Pretty much every school with any level of success cheating. Classes optional for most schools' "student athletes." A BCS system that is a complete joke. Perpetual conference alignment and realignment. I could go on and on. Clearly it's ALL about money at this point. I have long decried the TV networks, particularly ESPN, as the problem. I have even suspected nefarious means by ESPN, whom I believe has WAY too much power over the college football landscape. Now, I finally have the proof.

ESPN is clearly manipulating conference realignment.

First, the deals.
  • Pac-12 ABC/ESPN/FOX $21 million/yr/school 12 years
  • Big Ten ABC/ESPN $18.3 mill 10 years
  • SEC ESPN/CBS $17.1 15 years
  • ACC ABC/ESPN $12.9 12 years
  • Big 12 ABC/ESPN/FOX variable 3 years ESPN then 13 years FOX
  • Big East ABC/ESPN $3 (football members) 7 years
  • Big Ten network jointly owned by Big Ten and Fox
  • Longhorn Network jointly owned by Texas and ESPN
Last year, when the Big 12 was on the verge of collapse, the conference was held together by ESPN and Fox. ESPN has a TV contract with the Big 12 through 2015-2016. Loss of the Big 12 would have really hurt their revenue. So they got the schools back to the bargaining table and disaster was averted. There is no proof of how it really went down, but clearly ESPN was double-crossed as the Big 12 ended up signing with Fox for more money. That must have stung.

Fast forward to this year. With the Big 12 firmly together, ESPN runs with "breaking news" that Texas A&M had decided to leave the Big 12 and join the SEC. A day later this story was shot down as totally false by all parties. However, ESPN had accomplished its goal - planting the seed in the public conscience. The idea stewed and A&M decided to consider the possibility. The SEC was all too happy to accept them (into the ESPN family), and over a month after the original "breaking news", fantasy became reality. ESPN claims they had valid info with the original story and just had the timing off. However, it's clear that no meetings were held by either A&M or the SEC until well after this report. Take that greedy Big 12!

Even more damning was the recent Big East debacle. Clearly, the Big East lags well behind the other BCS conferences in terms of revenue. This is due to the smaller conference size and the lack of traditional powers. However, they had an exclusive negotiating window with ESPN for their upcoming new contract, and waited until last in the current round of conference negotiations to try and maximize their profit. ESPN low-balled the Big East, and they voted unanimously to reject the offer from ESPN (A story about Notre Dame as the driving force behind this was posted on ESPN even though it was a unanimous vote). Feeling spited, ESPN encouraged the ACC (whom had just signed with ESPN) to seek out Syracuse and Pitt for expansion. Don't believe me? How about the words of Boston College AD Gene DeFilippo, who was part of the ACC's expansion committee:
"We always keep our television partners close to us. You don't get extra money for basketball. It's 85 percent football money. TV - ESPN - is the one who told us what to do."
Are you kidding me? So the Big East spurns ESPN's crappy deal, and ESPN turns around and torpedoes the entire conference. ESPN and DeFilippo are in total damage control mode now, and are trying to hide the obvious truth. But really, along with the actual words of DeFilippo, past precedent with Texas A&M shows you how the game is played.

So here's how the game works. ESPN sets up the conferences with teams that play ball with them. ESPN broadcasts most of the games. ESPN controls the highlights you (and voting members of the polls) see every Saturday night. ESPN sponsors the coaches' poll. ESPN creates the talking points for the week leading up to the next weekend of games. Often, those talking points critique the pollsters in an attempt to manipulate voting. ESPN broadcasts the BCS games starting this year (beat out Fox). ESPN also sponsors the Heisman and sets the tone with the Heisman watch.

End result: ESPN makes billions. BCS schools make millions. Coaches make millions. Everyone with any power to affect change is happy. Players are pawns, and make nothing.

This will never, ever, ever change. It's only going to get worse. Is the next logical step for ESPN to cast off all semblance of a news organization and just create a new organization to replace the NCAA? They could run a new league of football powers centrally like the NFL. Sounds crazy, but we are almost at that point already! I think at this point, the lawyers need to get involved and stop this crazy game. The NFL has an anti-trust exemption. They share equally and offer even competition and a level playing field. College football offers none of that, and is the very definition of a monopoly, with ESPN at the top.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Occupy THIS!!!


I apologize in advance for the views expressed in this
post, but I have a message for Occupy Wall Street.

I have been closely following the current Occupy Wall Street movement with interest and confusion. As the movement has evolved, I now consider it with disdain. What began as a protest against the greed that permeated the financial industry has evolved into what I would kindly describe as a "Whoa is me for all that America has done to me" hissy fit!™

I agree wholeheartedly with the original premise. Banking and financial corporations (wall Street) took some pretty big risks to make a profit, particularly on mortgages, and lost billions. Taxpayers had to bail them out hurting the little guys, and they go right on doing business as usual. It's clear now that the bailout did preserve the economic status quo, but it didn't help pull America out of it's recession. These guys should have been held accountable, and maybe a couple should have been allowed to fold.

However, now this is morphing into a pseudo-populist movement with slogans like "Need not Greed" or "99%". Furthermore, protesters are rejoicing now that unions have stepped in and added manpower and resources. Obama is now chiming in, as are other political leaders trying to leverage the movement into political gain.

I have a big question for these protesters. Is capitalism dead?

It isn't entirely clear what they are seeking. However, it is clear that they are fed up with corporate America. some of the rhetoric sounds a whole lot like socialism. I am a firm believer that if you work hard and bust your butt, you will be rewarded. I want to take the two mottos above and look closer at each:

Need not Greed
Unfortunately, human nature doesn't really support the "need not greed" aspiration. If you have a guaranteed salary, you are bugging out for home at 3:30pm today to get an early start to your weekend. If you are paid hourly, you stay to the end, and get excited when overtime kicks in earning time-and-a-half! Another example is pay for performance. If you have a task and get paid for productivity, you work harder! Ever wonder why car salesman are so pushy? Sure they make a salary, but they get bonuses for sales volume! Earning money is what makes our economy run. Is it greedy? I guess, but people just do better at anything when there is an incentive to succeed. On a bigger level, corporations have every right to try to make big profits. If you don't your stock plummets, executives get fired, and the company goes bankrupt (unless it is bailed out by Uncle Sam). Healthy corporations make for a healthy economy and more jobs. Greed and need really go hand-in-hand.

99%
I won't say what side I fall on this, because I honestly don't know how much money the top 1% of Americans have. However, how can you begrudge someone in that top 1% what they have earned? With the exception of the spoiled heirs of family fortunes, most millionaires (and up) have sacrificed a lot, worked extremely hard, and taken enormous risks to achieve their wealth. Many have failed MULTIPLE times before, and sheer perseverance has enabled them to ultimately succeed. For every millionaire who made it, I'd wager there are 100 people just like them, maybe even more intelligent or driven who have failed. I wish I had the guts and drive to take a chance on an idea and do something amazing. However, that is never going to happen for me. I have too much to lose, and am pretty much a big chicken. I'll never make a million dollars, and will never be a billionaire. I don't begrudge those that are. I admire their determination. Think about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company pulling in a $20 mill salary and stock options. How dare he make so much??? Can you imagine the career of corporate meetings, butt-kissing, projects managed, crappy bosses and incompetent employees. How many times did he/she fear for their job after a merger or takeover? You can have that!!! I want no part of it.

The recent death of Steve Jobs provides an interesting foil to this movement. While the Occupiers bemoan corporate greed and billionaire CEOs, they absolutely REVERE Steve Jobs. He was the epitome of what they are protesting. He was a ruthless businessman who founded and then took Apple to the top as a multi-billion dollar corporate giant. He took his licks, but he stomped on many to put himself and his company at the top. Why is he any different than the CEO of Bank of America, Brian Moynihan? Is it because iPods are so cool? Maybe because we can't live without the new iPhone 4S? Jobs builds these things in China and sells them to you for $299 or more for mega-profit. Then you have to buy a new one next year when it is "totally upgraded" or when your non-replacable battery runs out. You need apps, so you buy a few at the App Store, which Apple takes most of the profit from and sticks it to developers. Don't forget, you have to have a 2 year wireless contract, so AT&T, Verizon and Sprint get a cut too - after paying Apple for the right to sell their device, naturally!

In general, I guess I just don't understand what the Occupiers are trying to accomplish. I get that they are just angry. Perhaps they should actually DO SOMETHING about it other than stand around holding up snarky signs. Apply yourself at work. Get a new job. Take a chance in your career. Support a candidate or run for office. Just don't stand around complaining. It's hurting my ears.

Thanks Apple!





This morning I pre-ordered two Apple iPhone 4s's for Teresa and myself. I'm generally very excited about this purchase for several reasons which I list below:

1) My Blackberry sucks - 'nuff said.

2) iMessage - I have yet to figure out how this works, but the two redeeming qualities of the Blackberry were its email handling and Messenger. Messenger allows you to send MMS messages to contacts - which can include videos, pictures, and text - and you don't have to have a text message plan for SMS. It was great and now Apple appears to have a similar app for their phones. I'm hoping it works, because I just cancelled all text messaging. So Ted, please stop texting me your thoughts on ND games.

3) It's only 3G - I've heard pretty bad things about 4G, namely that it drain the battery like a hole in your gas tank, and it is in very limited locations, and is spotty at best. 3G is nearly everywhere these days, and that's all I really want or need. I don't plan to stream movies over the network anyway!

4) Updated hardware and software - camera is 8 megapixels, memory and CPU chip are 7x faster than the 4, it's got the new iOS5, it has 2 antennae to reduce the likelihood of dropped calls, and it has voice activation.

5) Dumbass Apple junkies - this is probably my favorite reason. The 4S got all of its internal hardware and software updated, but it did not get an update case, and Apple junkies are pissed that they can't buy this product and get noticed as having the "new" Apple tool. They can't show their "cool" status because the 4S looks exactly like the iPhone 4. Because of that, iPhone 4S sales are expected to lag somewhat, and people like me can get one! Awesome!

I can't wait to get my new phone! It ought to be here before Thanksgiving to show off to everyone. Maybe I'll have it before my kid if born and we can all Facetime for the first views of Baby Heff (whenever that happens). Until then, yay iPhone 4S!

Monday, September 19, 2011

4 Options for Notre Dame


Only a week ago, I posted a scenario about superconferences. At the time, I thought it was inevitable, but myself (and the rest of the nation) were shocked when it was announced that Pitt and Syracuse were joining the ACC. I had always considered the ACC to be dead man walking when considering how superconferences might play out. Looks like they agreed! Instead, they added 2 members and increased the buyout to leave. The ACC will survive.

Now, it is not only inevitable, but happening now! We'll find out probably today what will happen with Texas and Oklahoma. Both are deciding on where they might go. Their decisions will likely force ND into finally, sadly joining a conference. I think 100% that our decision will be based on what Texas decides.

There are really only four options left for ND:

1) Stay indepedent
It's going to be tough. Scheduling will be a nightmare and conferences will control TV, Bowls, playoffs, polls - EVERYTHING. Notre Dame can do this, but they will quickly lose relevance. I think it would ultimately be a mistake. We would go the way of Army and Navy, becoming a decent team that always plays in a bowl, but never a serious power again.

2) Join the Big East as a football member
This would be an option to keep the Big East as a viable conference. The problem? Who is left in the Big East that is worth playing. Looks like the ACC may be trying to get a couple more Big East teams too. They could add castaways from the folding Big-12, but I still think this is an awful idea. If we are going to join a conference, let's join one worth joining.

3) Join the Big Ten
If Texas joins the Big Ten, I think we will soon follow. Not sure if they would immediately go to 16, but we wouldn't have a choice. The conference would be a juggernaut, and the divisions could be broken down into East and West. I like a division with ND, OSU, Michigan, MSU, PSU, Purdue and Northwestern. The West would be Texas, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Minn, Iowa, Indiana, Illinois. I have always been against the Big Ten, but adding Texas and Nebraska really expands the conference to be more palatable to me.

4) Join the ACC
If Texas goes to the Pac-12, I think this is our best option. We have had discussions before. There are many like-minded schools already in the conference. We would still have a unique identity and draw, as the western most school in the conference and somewhat of an outlier. Big exposure in the Northeast and Southeast. It would be great for basketball and other sports too. Overall probably less travel then currently in the Big East! I think the ACC would be a great fit.

Personally, I am hoping for the ACC. I still am just too worried about losing our unique nature and being swallowed up by the Big Ten. Don't get me wrong, I'm not scared to play more Big Ten teams every year, I am just worried that Notre Dame will blend in over time. Every time I see Penn State, I wonder if that could happen to Notre Dame too. Over time, they have melded in, and are now just another Big Ten team, losing the aura that I remember.

I have no idea what will happen today. I think it comes down to Texas and their Longhorn Network. Not sure if the Big Ten or Pac-12 will offer them a deal to keep it somehow. One thing is clear. They are meeting today and we may know the future of college football very soon.

***************************

Update: So the Pac-12 decided it already had enough money from the new TV contract that will kick in next year. They said No to Oklahoma and Texas - who now have no place else to go. So the Big-12 survives for another year. I predict the next round of craziness will be sooner rather than later. Within the next year or so, either the Big-12 or Big East will try to add football members to solidify their standing like the ACC just did. Until Texas or Oklahoma bolt, I think ND is safe as an independent.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Remain Calm - and a Look to the Future


I read Ian's post and I know exactly what he means. The biggest difference for me? I have long ago passed beyond the phase that Ian now is experiencing. Losses hurt. They tear me up too, but the gut-wrenching emotions that Ian feels have lessened. I think it is the fact that I was a freshman in 1993 and had to live through FSU and BC on back to back weekends. The highest high in my ND life immediately followed by the lowest low. It will never again be so bad for me. It can't be, because it's somehow different as a student.

The biggest problem I have is with other people. I'm sure you all live around a plethora of Notre Dame haters. They LOVE to rub it in when we lose. I would LOVE to punch them squarely in the face until blood is shooting out of their eyeballs. Unfortunately, it doesn't look good for the doctor to injure his workers in a hospital.

On the other hand, I AM COMPELLED to read everything I can about the game. One or two articles doesn't do it. I want the full-spectrum analysis of the game and what everyone thinks is wrong. I suggest you consider this Ian. Take off Saturday and dig in Sunday while watching NFL. You will get a good picture and it helps loosen up the emotions. Avoid message boards, but go after the articles. I would implore everyone to read the following GEM I found on Inside the Irish:

Irish turnovers are part of the process

This single brief article is the absolute best review of the inglorious start to the 2011 Notre Dame season. I guarantee that if you read it, you will feel better - and perhaps optimistic toward the rest of the season. There is a reason we are still favored over a ranked MSU by 4 points!!! Look, we're not going to a BCS bowl, but there is no reason we can't dominate from here on out and get a nice Champs Sports Bowl bid.

******************************

I wanted to also change direction and talk about the future of college football. another gut-wrenching topic for ND fans, but again have hope! Lots is happening behind the scenes right now. We all know that Texas A&M is now accepted into the SEC, after all the legal fees that are coming. This will likely set off another round of earth-shattering conference realignment. I have read confirmed stories that Texas and Oklahoma have had high-level talks about the future of the Big-12. It is also suggested that Oklahoma wants out and will likely be heading the the Pac-12, regardless of what the commissioner says in public. These two things will set off a cascade that I think will almost assuredly force Notre Dame into a conference.

One thing I know about Jack Swarbrick - he is a leader and is out in front of this. I have read unconfirmed articles that he has had discussions with Texas, and even with the Big Ten. I have no doubt he will do what is best for Notre Dame. One thing is for sure, super-conferences are coming. To me that may offer Notre Dame a unique chance to strengthen our position in football. You have probably read a million ideas for the future of college football. Here is mine. Humor me and see if this sounds interesting. The premise here is that the NCAA grows a pair and takes the lead in the future of college football:

1) Create a new division of college football that would include 4 super-conferences. Can we please just rename it Division 1.
The way it looks now: Pac-12, SEC, Big Ten and whomever else can string together the remaining sold teams. 16 teams in each conference.

2) The remaining BCS teams left out in the cold would be D2.

3) Create an NCAA-sanctioned playoff for D1 and a separate playoff for the newly formed D2. Other playoffs would remain unchanged.
This is the key. The NCAA makes millions on the basketball tournament. They would earn billions with a football tournament. They retain control of college sports, make more money, and the rest of college athletics will remain intact - and benefit! Never again will millions be funneled to political cronies running bowls.

4) Eliminate the bowl system.
See above. The system is crooked and broken. A playoff would use a combination of host team stadiums and bowl venues for games. Schools make extra cash when they host a game. Create a "Final Four" or "Final Eight" that would be played at neutral sites.

It would just be so perfect. The super-conferences would essentially become divisions, like in the NFL. Each conference gets, say 3 automatic qualifiers, and then throw in 4 wild cards. All money gets split evenly like in basketball. Extra revenue for highly seeded teams who get home games!

True champion: CHECK
Fair to all: CHECK
Little guys still make money and have a shot: CHECK (D2 champs)

I would have no problem joining a conference under these circumstances. In fact, this could be perfect for ND. Clearly, the SEC, Pac-12 and Big Ten will be involved. ND could lead the charge in forming the 4th conference. Along with Texas, they could dictate the terms and keep TV contracts intact (for now). Pick up the best of the ACC, Big-12 and Big East leftovers, and we've got ourselves a sweet deal.

Poke a hole in that concept!!!

Notre Dame Football is Killing Me


I now loathe Saturdays in the Fall.

As the week progresses my anxiety for the outcome of the pending Notre Dame game begins to eat away at my gut. Once in college I accidentally set my alarm for 8pm instead of 8am and overslept an exam. When I awoke and realized my mistake the feeling in my stomach was a combination of lurching and dry heaving. That is how I feel as every Notre Dame football game approaches.

It is a truly horrible feeling of helplessness and frustration.

I can't really bear to watch the games anymore. Every little mistake sets me off. A major mistake sends me into a litany of profanity that would make a sailor blush accompanied by immediately switching the channel. Since I'm usually watching with Mrs. Ian, who is much more forgiving and patient than I, this causes some internal hostility. This is why we now have a new television in the basement.

I also can't bear to not watch the games. If I try to skip a game I can't concentrate on anything but wondering about the state of the game. Inevitably, I check the score on my iPhone and get sucked in. I always end up regretting this as more often than not it turns out to be a mistake.

If the Irish lose I can't bear to use the internet for days, fearing I will stumble across articles and game recaps that will only cause the pain to be relived in my head over and over.

If the Irish win, this temporary internet hiatus is avoided, but the cycle of anxiety just begins anew the following Tuesday or Wednesday.

Making matters worse is the number of primetime games the Irish are playing this year. In years past the early kickoff times would at least allow me time to try to recover so I could go to bed with a clear (well, clearer) conscience. With games running until 9pm or later these past two weeks - and with more on the way - I'm unable to wind down. Which means I can't go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Which means when the kids get up at 6am on Sunday (and they always get up at 6am on Sunday if I've stayed up late) I'm a mess and Notre Dame has now successfully killed my entire weekend.

The sad thing is I'm not really exaggerating any of this. Just writing this post I can feel my stomach start to churn as I think about Michigan State this Saturday and the strong likelihood that Notre Dame, a team with BCS aspirations three weeks ago, will start the season 0-3.

I've tried to go into games with a positive attitude - trying to believe in the team, coaches, and players overcoming obstacles "what though the odds." But at this point almost 20 years of ineptitude have taken their toll on my psyche. I know they're going to screw up. And the worst part, a not insignificant part of my mind thinks that my watching the game adversely affects the outcome. Superstitious? Yes. Insane? Borderline. Pathetic? Absolutely.

I can't enjoy the games anymore. I can't enjoy not enjoying the games anymore. My only hope is that Notre Dame keeps sucking and drops to FCS. Then maybe I can reclaim my Saturday afternoons every Fall.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Domination: Soon


I don't know how many times I've said it. The biggest difference between the all-mighty SEC teams and the rest of the country is the depth of stud players on the defensive line. They just rotate in massive bodies that run 4.6 40's and can bench press a VW Beetle. Their rotation keeps them all fresh, and opposing offensive lines, RBs and QBs feel the pain.

Under Weis (Davie and Willingham too), we were never able to get more than maybe one difference maker on the D-line. Not since Holtz have we had intimidating big uglies at the point of attack. Zorich, Stams, Alm, Jones, Kowalkowski, Williams, Jurkovich and Dahl ALL WOULD GO ON TO BE DRAFTED AND PLAY IN THE NFL!

All that is changing under Brian Kelly. It is clear that he has seen what any die-hard ND fan has seen over the last 10 years. We need a superior D-line to compete at the highest level. So what has Kelly done in his first two full recruiting classes?
  • Stephon Tuitt 6'5"/252/5*
  • Chase Hounshell 6'5"/250/3*
  • Aaron Lynch 6'6"/265/5*
  • Ishaq Williams 6'5"/225/5*
  • Anthony Rabasa 6'3"/215/3*
  • Tony Springman 6'6"/260/3*
  • Romeo Okwara 6'5"/225/3*
  • Sheldon Day 6'2"/290/5*
  • Jarron Jones 6'7"/308/5* COMMITTED TODAY!!!
The first five guys on that list (mmmmmm, 5 Guys) are freshman in uniform right now. The last three are commitments for next year. Jones is an absolute monster and the #2 D-line recruit in the nation. Not only that, he only started playing football seriously in the last 2 years. He was a big basketball guy before that. That means he will turn into an absolute brick house once he gets in a couple years of strength and conditioning.

Are all these guys going to pan out? Of course not. However, they all will contribute mightily to our team. With a dominating D-line, we are a whole new team. Can you imagine what Kelly will be able to do with his offense, and a D-line that absolutely stuffs the line of scrimmage? There are so many subtle, positive changes that Kelly has brought about in two short years. This is a big one, but they are all going to start adding up. Anyone who doesn't see the trend is either ignorant or blind. We're coming, and soon.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Cueto for Cy Young!


What's a guy gotta do? As the Reds fall out of contention, and we lament all the trades that never were, I would like to draw attention to one of the most amazing things about the 2011 Reds - Johnny Cueto!

Johnny Cueto has been having a quietly spectacular season. After starting the season on the DL, he made his first start on May 8. Since then, he has been the very definition of an ace. Cueto has allowed more than three earned runs in only one of his 20 starts and has a 2.02 ERA, currently the major league leader. He has good K numbers and few walks. He goes deep into games and is a leader in complete games. So why isn't he getting ANY recognition outside of Cincinnati?

Pop quiz: What do Roger Clemens, Greg Maddux, Pedro Martinez and Kevin Brown have in common?

Answer: The only starting pitchers since 1990 who have had an ERA under 2.0!!!!!

If you guessed #1 ace pitchers, World Series Champions, Cy Young winners (except Brown), or future hall of famers (Clemens doesn't count) you would also be correct.

WHY ISN'T CUETO GETTING CY YOUNG CONSIDERATION???

Don't give me any crap about the Reds stinking. Felix Hernandez won it last year for the Mariners with WORSE stats than Cueto (except K's). The Mariners won 61 games - ALL SEASON. The Reds already have more than that. Okay, think he's not an elite pithcher? Halladay, Kershaw, Jurrjens, Lincecum - all have more wins on better teams, but not the same stats as Cueto. Yet they all are under consideration.

Look, I'm not saying he should win it. All I'm saying is that he should be high on the list of those under consideration - especially after Hernandez's win last year! I have read multiple articles, and he is NEVER EVEN MENTIONED!

I am hoping this is real development in Cueto, and this is the guy who starts Opening Day for us in 2012. I can't take another Volquez fool's gold situation. Could we have finally developed that true ace that we have lacked since Jose Rijo? I sure hope so.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"Somebody wake up Hicks!"


One of my favorite web sites, AICN, just posted a long and exhaustive interview with Michael Biehn. One word summary: AWESOMENESS!

Part I
Part II

Check it out for some great stories with an actor who never quite sold out to go mainstream like Private Hudson did. He talks about all his big movies, psycho directors, and even gives his bottom five movies he's done. Check it out to see if Navy Seals made the esteemed list!

Monday, August 01, 2011

Isle of Palms Countdown


I'm sure everyone is getting VERY excited about the big family trip next week. I wanted to share a little clip to get everyone pumped up and in the mood.


Check out Discovery Channel every night this week for more of the same!!! Is it just coincidence that Shark Week leads into our vacation? I think not!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I Could Have Saved the NFL Millions!


On March 10, I posted my NFL Lockout rant, NFL Labor Dispute is a Joke! You can click the link for the full post. In this article, I summarized the major issues between the NFL and the NFLPA and detailed the simple, common sense compromises that were needed to get a deal done. Here's a quick recap from that post:
1) Get rid of any money off the top
As revenue grows (as it did since the last CBA), anything off the top becomes less valuable.

2) Split the difference in the two "on record" proposals:
  • Owner share of revenue is 51.8% (an increase of $432 million or $13.5 million per team)
  • Player share of revenue is 48.2 % (a decrease of the same amount)
3) Implement a simple rookie wage scale
This helps owners and veteran players. If less of the players' 48.2% is tied up for unproven rookie contracts, veterans get paid more! Owners will have more flexibility in the draft and holdouts will be over.

4) Implement a fund for player pension and healthcare
It is the right thing to do. These players get brutalized, and last on average 3 years in the league. The owners still make money when they are walking corpses (see Al Davis).

5) If that isn't enough, go ahead and add 2 more games
More money, but reduce the preseason and limit off-season OTA's. Nobody really thinks the NFL needs 2 more games, but fine.
Now that the CBA is finalized and the lockout is officially over, let's take a closer look at the major issues and see how I did:

1) Get rid of any money off the top CHECK
All revenue system adopted, eliminating the owners' take and the need for opening the books.

2) Split the difference in the two "on record" proposals CHECK
Hard cap and minimum set total player share of revenue at 47% - 48.5%

3) Implement a simple rookie wage scale HALF CHECK
Contract limits and rookie compensation limits implemented. Not a true wage scale.

4) Implement a fund for player pension and healthcare CHECK
$620M paid to legacy players by NFL and NFLPA in the next 10 years

5) If that isn't enough, go ahead and add 2 more games
TBD
16 game season for now, players can vote on it in 2013.

Yeah, millions upon millions of legal fees by both sides. In the end, the compromise was crystal clear to a non-lawyer fan on March 10. What a waste.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Jürgen!


I'll keep this short and sweet. I'm happy that Bob Bradley is out as USMNT head coach. I've never really been a fan. Also, I get the excitement over Jürgen Klinsmann - but that needs to be tempered. Klinsmann had previously turned down the job twice in the past 5 years. Most people familiar with those negotiations agreed that he turned the job down because he couldn't get the amount of control he wanted of the overall system. So either one of two things has changed now...
  1. US Soccer has relented and will afford Klinsmann the level of control he seeks.
  2. Klinsmann is no longer seeking that level of control.
If it's the former, there's reason to be optimistic for the future of US Soccer as Klinsmann will have 10 months before WC '14 qualifiers begin to make big changes. Klinsmann is on the record saying he prefers an attacking style of soccer and he overhauled the mechanical German team during his tenure there. If he's given the freedom things could be exciting with the USMNT in the coming years.

If it's the latter? Well, expect more of the same that we saw from Simpson to Arena to Bradley. In other words, we'll overpower weaker CONCACAF teams and regularly get whooped on by class teams - maybe with a sprinkling of surprising (pleasant or otherwise) results.

I guess what I'm really saying is, as long as Jonathan Bornstein never gets a call up during Klinsmann's reign I'll consider him a huge success and his contributions to US Soccer priceless.

p.s. I mainly wrote this so I could use the umlauts.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Damn the Torpedos!!!


I think it is finally time.

Since the current ownership group took over, the Reds and GM Walt Jockety have been stockpiling talent in the minors. By leveraging that talent now, not only could we make a run at the playoffs and be a legit postseason contender, but we could be set up for the next 3 years. For so many reasons, I think Jockety has got to be ultra aggressive in the next 2 weeks.

First, look at the facts:
  • We are the defending division champs, and are struggling this season to find a spark, despite having the same team.
  • The Reds are currently 4.5 games out of first, and 9 games back in the Wild Card standings.
  • Right now, we have more major league quality starting pitchers than we have spots in the rotation.
  • We have 4 all-stars on our AAA Louisville team.
  • Joey Votto is under team control through 2013, then he will be a free agent. Hasta la vista.
  • Major realignment is almost a certainty for next season, and the playoffs are going to be expanded. Bud Selig has all but said this, and everyone is in favor of more teams in the postseason.
So what do the Reds need? A left fielder, a top line starting pitcher, and an extra arm for the bullpen. Amazingly, there are a lot of really good options out there for the Reds, and I think we can realistically cover all these issues - without mortgaging our future.

I have been closely following the trade rumors, and I think I see a way for the Reds to clean up. Each of these trades is being discussed, but here's what needs to happen.

1) James Shields (TB) for Yonder Alonso / Yasmani Grandal / Mike Leake
This is our biggest need, and this trade has to happen. Shields is a dominating #1 ace pitcher. He has a reasonable contract, and is under team control through 2014. A PERFECT fit for the Reds. Alonso has no place to play for the Reds, Grandal has another stud catcher ahead of him in the minors, and Leake has no place to pitch. Did I mention the Rays are desperate for help at 1B and C???

2) Santiago Casilla (SF) for Ramon Hernandez
Hernandez is expendable, and there is high demand for a hitting catcher. The Giants NEED a catcher. Remember Buster Posey and his home plate collision? Casilla is a pretty good reliever, and we still have Hannigan. This also clears the way for our future catcher, Devin Mesoraco. He is ready.

3) Josh Willingham (OAK) for Billy Hamilton Willingham isn't going to be an all-star outfielder, but he is an upgrade over what we have now in left. He could slot nicely into the cleanup slot (he bats 3rd for the A's) and solve a huge problem for us - we are 15th in the NL for cleanup production. If we get lucky, he becomes a Matt Holliday type acquisition for us. Hamilton is a nice player, but he has Cozart and Phillips ahead of him, and likely will not contribute for years.

4) Prospect (ATL) for Johnny Gomes
There just isn't any room for Gomes. The Braves are desperate for another bat, and Gomes destroys lefties. Get a good AAA prospect, instead of letting Gomes warm the bench.

It really is now or never. Either we go for it and shoot for the 3-year window we have with our core players (Votto), or we just hold tight and hope to sneak into the playoffs with a whimper. These trades need to happen, and we become a much better team. Now and in the future.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Ever Wonder...


how a professional golfer would fare at your local public course? I always have, and much to my enjoyment a writer for the Washington Post had the same question. Luckily for us the writer also had the resources to arrange everything.

Tee for Two

What makes this article even more exciting is the course the pro plays with the writer is a course I have played numerous times, East Potomac in DC. The article was written 4 years ago, but the pro, Steve Marino, is still playing very well on the PGA tour (64th in the world rankings).

I assumed that a professional would absolutely tear up a public course. I was thinking they would probably shoot in the mid-50's. However, this wasn't the case, Marino only shot 4 under par! I have golfed with amateurs who played better than that. In addition, Marino was full of excuses: the greens are too slow, the grass is too high, the tee boxes aren't level. Cry me a river; now you know what it's like for the rest of us!

As the article states: great golfers get great scores at great courses, but I was amazed to see how they can't adjust their game to take advantage of an easy course that may not be in great condition. This all makes me feel so good about my golf game: now I can just blame my triple bogeys on poor course conditions!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Enjoy It (While It Lasts)


This year's Women's World Cup has been fantastic. And not just because the good ol' US of A is in the final after two of the most exciting soccer games - men's or women's - I've ever seen, but because the soccer itself has been great in every match. The pace and power of the women's game will never be on par with the men's game, for obvious reasons, but the skill and creativity are quickly catching up. Plus, the women's game doesn't have any of the diving and playacting (save the last 15 minutes of the USA-Brazil game) that can make the men's game so infuriating at times.

But here's the problem - at least, if you're an American - while teams like France and Japan are coming out of the woodwork to challenge the traditional powers, the US women's game doesn't seem to be evolving at the same rate. The US women's team seems to focus on three qualities as being important: work rate, size, and spirit. Not surprisingly, theses are the same attributes that are most often mentioned with the US men's team. If you don't immediately see the problem there, go back and look at the men's results against top competition recently. Spirit and work rate don't win soccer games the majority of the time. If you want to be elite, you first need the skills and creativity, then the tactical awareness and smarts. The spirit and work rate can put you over the top, but lacking the others you're going to spend a lot of time chasing the game.

For the majority of yesterday's semifinal matchup France dominated the US. Dominated. They were better tactically. They relied on positioning, movement, and quick passes. Their touch was outstanding and, player-for-player, they were much more creative. The US won because a) the French goalie was terrible and b) Abby Wambach is a 5' 11" freak of nature. Now look at who the US is facing in the finals. A Japan team that has plowed through two teams - Germany and Sweden - with characteristics very similar to the US, i.e. big, fast, power teams. It's going to be a very interesting game.

The big question is what does the future hold for the US women's program? Title IX and other societal advantages gave the women's program a huge head start on the rest of the world, but they're catching up quickly. If the US women continue to think that just hard work and that indefatigable American spirit will keep them at the top (as the men's program seemingly does), they are sorely mistaken. Other countries will continue to get bigger, faster, and stronger, but will also focus on creativity and tactics. And it won't take long for the US to be left behind. If the US wants to remain ahead of the curve they need to shift focus now.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Bolton


If you're like me (trust me, if you're reading this blog you are), you gave up on Saturday Night Live 10 years ago. However, the shining star of SNL these days are Lonely Island and their awesome Digital Shorts. We all know the original classic, Lazy Sunday. Since then, they have had a series of awesome shorts including I'm on a Boat, the awesome trilogy D*ck in a Box, Motherlover and 3-Way, and one of the funniest I have seen J*** in my Pants.

There are many more, but here is one that is vastly underrated. Saw this for the first time and laughed my a$$ off! I present to you the tale of Jack Sparrow!


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Wait, Smoking is Bad For You?


The FDA has released the official graphics for their new campaign of warning labels on every pack of cigarettes sold in the United States. I have two immediate thoughts:

1) Holy shit, can they print that?
2) Will they be selling a commemorative carton so I can collect all 9?

Here are the images that will start rotating on every pack sold as of September 2012. They will cover the back of the pack as pictured.
Pretty tame. Big tough guy quit smoking. Good for him.
Another tame one. Oh man, smoking is bad for kids. Come on, they don't smoke anyway!
Now we start to ratchet up the fear. People don't like to look at other sick people.
You know what else people don't like? Crying babies. Worse yet, crying babies born premature in an incubator!
Now the FDA goes all anatomical on us. Normal lung on the left. Your lung if you smoke this pack of cigarettes on the right!
Now it's game on. Second hand smoke kills, and nobody wants to see a grieving widow. This one hurts to look at.
Another shocker. Anyone who's ever been to a VA hospital has seen this. Most people probably have not. For those who don't know, this guy has a tracheostomy as a result of surgery for throat cancer. He likely uses an electronic voice box to speak, and also must smoke his cigarettes through his trach tube! That's right, mouth not required to continue to kill yourself!
Another disgusting image. Rotten teeth and lip cancer. I especially like how the mouth is designed to be in proximity to the cigarette as you pull it out of the pack. If only this one could be "scratch and sniff!"
The coup de grace. Corpse status post autopsy. To save cost, probably the same guy they took the lungs from pictured above! FDA needs to use it's government spending wisely - we have a budget crisis!!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Swoosh!!!


Yours for the bargain price of $35!!!

We all know it. Some love it, some hate it. The Nike Swoosh turns 40 on June 18. I read a great article today on the history of Nike and the ubiquitous Swoosh, and found out some amazing facts. Click over for the full story.
  • The Swoosh was designed by a freelance graphic design artist in 1971 for $35. Carolyn Davidson was friends with Nike founder Phil Knight and did work on business presentations for him prior to being asked to design a logo for his new brand of shoes.

  • Phil Knight was a HUGE fan of adidas' classic three stripe logo for it's shoes. He had a very hard time accepting other possible logos that were not stripe based.
  • Davidson designed the Swoosh in about a week (above), and when she presented it, Knight said, "Well, I don't love it. Maybe it will grow on me." He had a deadline for production so Davidson didn't even get to refine her design.
  • Davidson worked as a low-level employee for Nike for a few years after designing the logo, but certainly wasn't a founding employee worth millions today (like Knight and his posse).
  • In 1983, after Nike had clearly become a premier company, Nike president Bob Woodell suggested to Knight that they do something special for Davidson. They had a big surprise party for her, gave her a gold Swoosh ring with a diamond, and an unspecified number of stock certificates in Nike.
  • Sources suggest the number of certificates in 1983 was 500. In 1983, that was worth $6,085. Allowing for the current price of Nike stock as well as stock splits since 1983, the value of her gift today would be $643,035.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Charleston, SC


So Samantha, Teresa, and I did a long drive down to Charleston, SC for a week-long vacation with the Paulus clan. Our week was spend in a rental-house in Kiawah Island, which is south and west of Charleston, as opposed to Isle of Palm, which is almost due east of the city. Here's a recap of various portions of the trip which may or may not impact our vacation in August.

Travel/Drive
From Columbus, we took US-33 (2-lane divided for most of the way) to just over the West Virginia border - took about 2.5 hours. We then picked up I-77 and took it due south through West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, and to Columbia, SC. Finally, we took I-26 to Charleston. The timer in my Traverse said it took us a little over 10 hours of drive time in the car to get to the Charleston airport, at I-26 and I-526. This does not include stopping for gas, period rest breaks, and other various stops. The traffic was fairly light, and speed limits were 70mph most of the way. We did this drive on Memorial Day weekend, and we did the final leg from Columbia to Charleston around 3 in the afternoon. At no point was I driving under the speed limit due to congestion, and there was only 1 work zone on the entire drive where I had to reduce speed. I believe this was the major area of concern for a vacation spot, so I think we can assume the best for driving in August.

Weather Conditions
Weather for us was high-80s, low-90s, and fairly humid most of the week. If you're on the beach, you won't notice humidity due to the fairly constant breeze, which was very refreshing while not being so strong it blows your umbrella away. Bring the sunscreen, but water temps ought to be extremely pleasant for us in August.

Water Temp
I didn't have a thermometer with me, but the water was never "cold". Most of the time, I would have considered it warm, and at high tide in the early evenings, it was downright hot! Our beach was about 10 yards at high tide, and closer to 50 yards at low tide. Water at low tide was only to my waist when I was roughly 50-yards offshore - probably the reason the water was so warm.

Charleston tour
We did go into Charleston for a day, which took us abut 75 minutes from Kiawah (should be closer to 30 minutes from IOP). We went to the Aquarium and the Market District, both of which were pretty cool. Sam enjoyed the aquarium, as there are some huge fish tanks in there you can just sit and watch all the big fish. The Market District was pretty similar to the markets in NOLA, but interesting to walk through all the same. I'm sure there's lots of other places to go, so feel free to throw out some suggestions.

All in all, it was a much easier drive, and awesome beach for the trip. For those of you flying, the airport will likely be a 30-45 minute drive from IOP. I'm sure you can figure out the distances. I'm looking forward to the Heffernan trip, and I know Sam is too! She wants to play with cousins for a week, not her mom and dad!