The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Art - Scientifically Proven!


So Molly loves to grab Post-It notes from my desk, scribble on them, and them give them to people as a present. I hate it, because she makes a mess, and I lose all my Post-Its! Usually, they look something like this:
Hey - she's 3 years old! Give her a break! So today, she sprints into the living room and gives me a Post-It:
So I looked at it and immediately said, "It's a beautiful leprechaun, Molly!" I showed it to Ali, and she said it was just a scribble, and probably not a leprechaun. I kind of agreed with her, but look at it - it looks so much like a little man with a hat! So I used the old scientific method to see if it was reproducible. I asked Molly to please draw me another beautiful leprechaun. She ran into my office, and ran back out soon handing me this:
So it's official: the middle picture is Molly's first free hand drawing! Next up, I'll get her to work on the interlocking ND logo!!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

That's Some Quality Children's Programming!


I've said for years that 80% of the jokes made in kids' cartoons are directed towards adults. Here are a couple that Zoe definitely won't get for, hopefully, another 15 years...




Monday, August 16, 2010

Great Work, Boys!


I read two reviews for the Samsung Epic 4G handset just released by Sprint this morning. Both reviews claimed it to be the best smartphone on the market and went into great detail about the hardware, software, camera, speed, and a few other items. One area conspicuously absent in both reviews - the quality of phone calls!

To summarize, two separate 4000-word phone reviews failed to make any mention of the device's primary function. Am I the only person in the world who still uses my mobile phone to make phone calls?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Jim Gray is a Total A$$hole!!!



I hate Jim Gray. Always have, and always will. He comes across to me as the most smarmy, disingenuous piece of you know what in the sports business. He is all about grabbing the spotlight and injecting himself into the story. I never liked the guy, and when he totally blindsided Pete rose in 1999, I wanted to rip out his eyes and piss in his dead skull - Jack Nicholson style!

It cracked me up that Lebron James picked this punk to host his "The Decision" special, which made a mockery out of Lebron, but especially out of Jim Gray. Apparently, he was paid by Lebron for the "interview", which he denies! Now, the old weasel is at it again.

Somehow, he got himself attached to The Golf Channel, and is at the PGA in Whispering Straits this week. Amid the controversy surrounding Tiger Woods' captain's selection to the Ryder Cup team (because he ain't going to qualify), Jim Gray reported Tuesday evening that Pavin told him he would pick Woods for the Ryder Cup if he didn't make the team on his own at the PGA Championship. He quoted Pavin as saying,
"Of course I'm going to. He's the best player in the world."
Corey Pavin then held a press conference and denied ever making such a statement.
"There's nobody that's promised any picks right now. It would be disrespectful to everybody that's trying to make the team. I've got quite a few people I'm looking at. I would not disrespect any of the players that are potential players on the team, and obviously there was misinterpretation of what I said."
In mediaspeak, them's fighting words! Apparently, Jim Gray was very angry and stood by his story and Pavin's alleged quote. After Pavin's press conference he confronted Pavin, getting face to face no more than a foot away. He went nuts and called Pavin a liar. He stuck his finger right in Pavin's face and said,
"You're going down!"
To which Pavin responded,
"Down for what? You making stuff up?"
How awesome is that? Corey Pavin, 5'9", 155 pounds going toe-to-toe with Jim Gray, 5'9", maybe 150 pounds! I wish they would have started swinging - Pavin with his driver! The best part is that Pavin's wife recorded the whole thing on her video phone. I can't wait for that to hit YouTube. I will update when it does!

Jim Gray is going down!


Sunday, August 08, 2010

Sweet Pennants!



This week I attended the 31st National Sports Collectors Convention in Baltimore with some of my work buddies. I was looking mostly for old Notre Dame, Reds, and Bengals memorabilia, but it seemed the Convention was geared mainly towards card collectors. Alas, I was able to come home with the following sweet pennants, which are now proudly displayed in my basement. Obviously, I had them assembled in order of my allegiance. US Soccer would have made it above the Bengals, but I couldn't find any pennants for them. Also, we saw Bill Simmons (aka ESPN's SportsGuy) at the Convention. He sounds pretty nerdy on his podcast, and looks the part as well. But the guy sure does know his sports.