The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Totally Underated


As I mentioned on a recent post, I have entered the world of streaming home video with arms open wide. One of the big advantages is that it makes it very easy to see a lot of movies that you otherwise might skip. There are a lot of movies I wouldn't buy on DVD or Blu. Video stores are almost gone from existence. Also, Netflix sucks. Redbox is not so bad, but they have a limited selection of new stuff. With streaming, tons of stuff is available for free. If not, you can rent or purchase online (or download for free if you are a filthy cheat stealing from Hollywood).

So I am starting a post to find awesome movies that I may have missed. Think about it like this: are there any movies that you constantly recommend to friends that they probably haven't seen? I find myself doing that with a few. Maybe not masterpieces, but great movies that are must sees. I'll start off with a couple that I love, and if you want to add to the post, go for it. If you can't publish, add a comment, and we can amend the post. Might be cool to get a good list together.

Kick-Ass
This is an unbelievable action flick. What I originally mistook for yet another third-rate comic turned film to cash in on the comic book craze is in fact one of the very best comic book/superhero films out there. You know the glowing surprise in the case from Pulp Fiction that comes up again and again, yet they never show what it is? There is a similar plot device in Kick-Ass - except they do show you, and holy god does the reveal pay off!!! See this movie, and get ready for Kick-Ass 2 this summer!



Primer
Shane Carruth may be a one-hit-wonder filmmaker (Upstream Color was rough), but if Primer is his one hit, he is a success. Without a doubt, the best time-travel movie ever made, period. This one is so realistic, it seems like it could really happen, hell, maybe it has! Half the fun is watching it again and again to try and figure out the multiple timelines. Don't worry. There is a handy info-graphic online that will diagram the whole thing for you if you need a hand. It will blow your mind!




Walk Hard
I love John C. Reilly. He has to be one of the finest actors in Hollywood. Everything he touches turns to gold. Even in the crap movies he's in, he steals the show. This is one of his few turns as a leading man. It beautifully combines his comedic genius and awesome singing voice in this blatant spoof of Walk the Line. I never hear anyone bring this one up, and I think it just got overlooked. This movie makes me laugh out loud repeatedly, and is even funnier if you've seen Walk the Line. Listen to the lyrics of his songs, and look out for Tim Meadows. He has a repeating gag in this one that is brilliant.


King of Kong
Have to agree with Colin on this one. Just a riveting doc about Donkey Kong. That seems ludicrous to type, but it's true. Watch it.








Role Models
So Colin clearly loves Sean William Scott! I'll give him one listing here. I've seen Goon, and it is great. However, I've got to add something that I haven't seen yet! I'll be checking this one out soon.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Where the Hell Do I Aim???


Oh the horror!

I recently stumbled upon a horrifying truth, quite by accident... 

I rarely buy new clothes. In fact, were I not married, I would probably have the same exact clothes in my closet as I had 10 years ago. As it is, one item that I get a lot of wear out of is khaki shorts. I wear them constantly from April through October. Like most guys, I have several pairs in the rotation. After a year of wear, they are perfectly broken in. After 2 years, they start to show their age. After 3, discoloration starts and fraying is close behind. For whatever reason, all my shorts fell apart at the end of last summer. So I searched the stores for a new style of go to khaki shorts.

After much searching (these gotta last for a while) I found the Men's Ultimate ROC Short by Columbia. They are cotton, not the crazy nylon crap a lot of similar shorts are these days. They have a nicely-fitting 9" inseam, and don't extend below the knee. They have useful pockets, but are not cargo style meaning I can dress them up a bit too. They even offer UPF 50 protection from the sun, although most non-nudists don't have too much trouble with butt burns!

However, it's one feature of these shorts that led me to my inadvertent discovery:
  • Omni-Shield advanced repellency treatment wards off rain and stains
It's pretty self-explanatory. They are treated to be slightly water repellent. What actually happens is small amounts of water bead up on the fabric. Certainly not water proof. So imagine my surprise the first time I wore them and used a public urinal. I zipped up, walked over to the sink and noticed beads of water on the front of my shorts - urine! Thinking maybe it was an unusual occurrence (more water than usual in the urinal), I wiped them clean and moved on. However, I have come to realize this was not a one-time occurrence. Using a urinal splatters you with piss! 

So now questions are running through my head:
  • Is the shorty urinal better than the the taller adult one?
  • Is there a specific target I should be aiming for?
  • Should I shit-can the whole urinal and use the toilet?
  • What the hell happens if there aren't urinal dividers and someone is next to you?
  • Can I ever piss in a trough-style latrine at a stadium again?
38 years of life, and only now have I realized this! Damn you Columbia! (But the shorts still totally rock!)

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

The Future is Here


If the industry hasn't already done so, I'll go ahead and do it for them. I have long been the biggest supporter of home video. I own literally hundreds of VHS, then DVD and now blu-rays. Today, I am waving the white flag and surrendering.

For a year, I have been using my blu-ray player in the basement to access online content through Amazon and Vudu. We used it sporadically, mostly to watch free Amazon Prime shows for the girls, or older free movies. I used Vudu a handful of times to rent a new release because it is one of the few that offered 1080p and 5.1 sound. Then, I discovered something cool. When you buy a movie, it usually has a "digital copy". I had been saving those in iTunes. Now, they have switched over to Ultraviolet. This is a service that verifies your movie, then allows you to access it from the cloud. At first I was ticked because I couldn't actually save the file on my computer, making iTunes useless. Then I realized I could link Vudu to Ultraviolet, and watch my movies anywhere online - including streaming them from my blu-ray player.

Suddenly, I started to use this streaming more and more. I soon realized how great it was, so I decided I had to be able to do the same upstairs. After reading nothing but amazing reviews on the new Roku 3, I made the $99 purchase and set it up. Do you remember the first time you used TiVo? It was just like that. I knew things would never be the same. Two days later, I bought a second unit for the basement.

Internet streaming media players are the future of viewing.

Blu-ray
Physical media for movies and television is an endangered species. A long series of formats has progressed since actual film reels were used in high end home movie theaters. Film gave way to VideoDiscs, gave way to LaserDiscs, gave way to Betamax, gave way to VHS, gave way to DIVX, gave way to DVD, gave way to HD-DVD, gave way to Blu-ray. Now, I think people will soon stop buying DVDs and blu-rays, because every movie is quickly available to rent or purchase through a number of online movie services. Amazon, iTunes, Vudu, Blockbuster and Netflix are but a few. The prices are actually comparable to buying a disc, which tells you something. If they charge the same price, but don't have to manufacture and ship the disc, the studios MAKE MORE MONEY! I have even seen quite a few big titles get released online BEFORE the blu-ray comes out. Prometheus is a recent example. Oh yeah, you can buy it and watch whenever you want.

Do you remember that painful day when you made the iTunes plunge? You decided that you were going to rip all your hundreds of CDs into iTunes and go all digital. It was a little scary, and took a long time painfully inserting disc after disc. But when you were done - glorious! That day is coming for me very soon with video. No, I'm not going to rip all my DVDs and Blus. That would take a year. For $1, you can load your disc into your computer, connect to Vudu, get it verified and have your own purchased copy to stream online. Yeah, sucks to have to pay, but it will be worth it. Literally hundreds of movies at your finger tips to watch from your phone, any computer or any TV.


Television
The other shoe will drop when cable providers, or channels themselves provide their content directly to streaming devices. Right now, services like Amazon and Hulu allow you to keep pace with your favorite shows. But Apple and Roku are negotiating right now with cable companies and trying to get internet streaming of regular TV. Then, you'll be able to watch live TV as well. When that happens, you'll hook up a tiny Roku to your TV by HDMI, and viola - instant home theater!!! No more blu-ray player, no more cable box. In fact, I'll bet someone even integrates Roku or Apple TV right into a TV in a year or 2. Plug in the TV, hang it on the wall, connect to your Wifi network, and NO CABLES at all!!!

Some other fun things the Roku allows you to do:
  • Roku app: Push pictures and music from your iPhone.
  • Plex: Link Roku to your home computer. Set up folders to stream ALL your movies, home movies, music, photos.
  • Picasa/Shutterfly: Link Roku to your online albums.

Look, I'm not ready to cut the cords yet, but the writing is on the wall. I'm sure the Apple TV has similar features, but it certainly can't claim the volume of channels Roku has right now. For now, I can whole-heartedly recommend the Roku 3. Just go buy it and get started.