The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Shut Up, Harkes (et al.)


The only thing more annoying than the US national team's play of late has been is the way their performances are being treated in the media (Jamie Trecker being the lone exception).

In the past year or so, the US has played exactly 3 halves of decent soccer - versus Spain in the Confederations Cup and the first half against Brazil in the same tournament. All of those halves showcased the typical American grittiness that has become the team's trademark, but they also featured new skill players that haven't been present (mainly because they haven't been given a chance) in previous teams. But rather than focus on those new skill players the gritty, hardworking spirit BS gets beaten into the ground.

This wouldn't be a problem if media and public perception didn't play such a role in sports today. Everyone is afraid to make drastic changes because they may backfire. So rather than trying to patch the hole in a sinking ship, they'll just keep hoping they reach land before they take on too much water. The role that pundits (and former US players) like John Harkes and Alexi Lalas play in this cycle is doing the team a disservice and miseducating the American soccer public. Rather than praise those who are doing well (except Landon, who's been on a tear of late), they heap rewards on those players working the hardest - those showing that American grit. The Michael Bradley's, Jonathan Bornstein's, and Brian Ching's of the world. Meanwhile, they continually criticize the better players - Dempsey, Spector, Demerit...

Well guess what? The reason Bradley and the like are working so hard is they keep screwing up! "Bradley does a great job chasing back there and tackling! He's all over the place!" That's because he just gave the ball away without any pressure in midfield and he needs to make up for his mistake. Next time you watch a US game, count the number of times one of these bums makes a blatant mistake and see how often they're called on it (on a related note, Bornstein's inclusion in last night's game after his performance over the weekend - or ever, really - is one of the most mind-boggling coaching decisions of all-time. With Cherundolo on the bench, it's the equivalent of starting Jim Sorgi over Peyton Manning. Except worse). Then count the number of times Dempsey or Spector gets called out for "not hustling" or "just not having it tonight". It's quixotic. The good players make it look effortless. They see the flow, take the right angles and positioning and, thus, don't need to run all over the place like a mad man to catch up to it. The game comes to them.

You don't see this often with commentators in other sports - if Collinsworth sees Peyton Manning make a terrible play, you can bet he'll call him out. Just once I would love to see ESPN use one of their European crews, the ones that handle Champions League games, call a US game. The feedback and information you'd hear would be a polar opposite to the regular crew. And you know what, contrary to what they may think, that's a good thing!

UPDATE 1: Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!! Stop it already!
UPDATE 2: The sane words of a man who knows what he's watching.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Lose the Pleats, Charlie!


The thing that annoys me most of late when it comes to Notre Dame mockery is the "Charlie Weis is fat!" approach. Read any article about Notre Dame, then scroll down to the comments. Within about five post there will undoubtedly be a comment about Weis (usually mispelled 'Weiss') eating cheeseburgers or a poorly photo-shopped image of Jabba the Hutt.

Make no mistake, Charlie Weis is a lot of things, but svelte is not one of them. And no doubt, I often used these very putdowns when I was in 1st and 2nd grade. But look around the college coaching landscape any given Saturday and you'll see Charlie is not alone. The coaching profession isn't exactly a picture of public health (actually, and sadly, it probably is - but that's another post altogether). I think the big problem is Charlie's wardrobe. Here's a photo of Charlie in typical practice attire, which usually consists of an ND-branded windbreaker or pullover...


Weis: Looking Normal

Now compare that to his usual gameday attire...


Oh my God! Why?

You see the difference? Charlie Weis has an... unfortunate... waist, and those damned pleated pants with the tucked in polo only exacerbate his shapely hourglass figure (not the good kind). I think we need to start some sort of petition to get Charlie to carry the pullover look over to Saturdays. The image and reputation of Our Lady are at stake here! I'm only partially kidding when I ask, does anyone have a contact in the ND football office to whom I can make this plea/recommendation? Any ammunition we can take away from non-fans of Notre Dame is welcome in my books, and this seems like a pretty simple remedy. For God's sake, Charlie - lose the pleated pants!

Saturday, September 05, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly


The Good
Notre Dame blanks Nevada 35-0, posting their first shutout victory since 2002. Clausen and Floyd looked great. The offensive line was strong, giving Clausen plenty of time and opening gaping holes for the ground game. The Irish racked up 510 total yards, 178 on the ground, and had no turnovers. Not a bad start...

The Bad
Notre Dame's opponents for the season?
  • Michigan 31 - 7 W. Michigan
  • Michigan St. 44 - 3 Montana St.
  • Purdue 52 - 31 Toledo
  • Southern Cal 56 - 3 San Jose St.
  • Boston College 54 - 0 Northeastern
  • Stanford 39 - 13 Washington St.
  • Navy 27 - 31 Ohio State
  • Pitt 38 - 3 Youngstown St.
So much for that super easy schedule...

The Ugly
United States 2 - 1 El Salvador.

Sometimes I cynically joke while watching a poorly played soccer game that I could play for the team. In reality, I'd get run off the field and lose the ball every time it came my way. Well, tonight I say with 100% confidence that if I was playing for the USA I would not be the worst player on the field. Not only that, I would probably put in a better show than 4 or 5 of the Americans that saw the field tonight. Not that I'm that good - I have no such illusions of my ever deteriorating skills - but the USA was that bad. I mean really bad. Atrociously bad. The refs made some bad calls (taking away a clear goal by Jozy Altidore with no explanation chief among them), but make no mistake - the USA was awful. They deserved to lose and should consider themselves fortunate their World Cup dreams are still alive. Bob Bradley's coaching career? Maybe not so much...

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

It's Almost Here!


In preparation for the wonderful time of the year known as college football season I held my annual screening of Rudy.

Suffice it to say I am now so pumped up I may tackle a stranger on my way to work tomorrow.