I was recently forwarded a picture that shook me to the core. Apparently, through some freek of nature I was formerly a member of 70's soft rock supergroup Orleans. How could this happen? I'm not sure. Perhaps I was drugged, forced to grow a long beard and transported through time before being brought back to the present with retrograde amnesia. I think that's the only possible explanation for this album cover!
Who is Orleans?
Orleans is a 1970s soft rock band, best known today for such hits as "Dance With Me" and "Still The One". The band was founded in January 1972 in
Ulster County, New York by Wells Kelly, John Hall, and me Ted Heffernan (aka Larry Hoppen). The band took their name "
Orleans" because they needed a name for the band at a show and didn't know what else to use. The name has nothing to do with
New Orleans, so history tells us. But is it a coincidence that I now live in
New Orleans? The way I see it, after recently emerging through the time portal, all I could coherently think of was my city of origin. Presto – a band is named!
So look closely at this photo and ask yourself, "Does that guy on the left really look like Ted with a full beard?" I think you'll come to the same conclusion that I have. You might also ask yourself, "Are these guys naked?" The answer is NO, we had pants on! By the way, this album was nominated as one of the
10 worst album covers of all time. What did this site have to say about my former bands' album cover? Here you go:
If I ever ‘wake up into a dream’ where I am surrounded by a bunch of naked male hippies, it had better be the result of a toxic snakebite and/or a fever-induced coma. Again, I have to ask the obvious question; who decided that an album cover featuring hairy naked dudes would sell music? Especially when some of the guys look way too happy, while a couple are noticeably uncomfortable. They snapped the picture when the guy in the middle was saying, “Hey, Julian, we aren’t all like you and Viceroy. Where is your other hand? I need to see them both. That was the deal.” I have no idea what this music is like, but at least we know where boy bands came from.
1 comment:
AWESOME!!! I've seen that album cover before and never thought that it was you, Ted staring back at me. I can totally see it now. Then again, maybe I was just so disturbed by the train-wreck that is that album cover that I was too busy questioning my own sexuality lest I be put in the position where my band"mates" come up me and say "we've got a great idea for an album cover, bend over."
BTW, my two favorite from that link have always been John Bult, minutes before getting busted by an NBC Dateline camera crew, and Joyce who looks thisclose to being a muppet.
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