Cinco de Mayo

Dad and I have finally made the Big Time!!! We went to El Coyote for dinner on Cinco de Mayo. We got there a little early to get a table before the rest of the family showed up. As we were waiting, two CityBeat photographers gave us Corona t-shirts, maracas, awesome shades for Dad and a beautiful artificial lei for me. I looked through the rest of the gallery. Two quick notes:

1) We are the oldest people in any photo, so we must look pretty awesome to make it!
2) Is Dad shrinking? We are standing right next to each other and I got him by at least 3 inches. No I didn't have my heels on!

2012 - Hollywood Goes Out with a Bang!

So 2012 is supposed to be the end of the world. If so, we will certainly be going out with a bang! I previously posted about the upcoming Alien prequel, Prometheus. I just read an article about the new Marvel flick, Thor. It indicated that Thor and the upcoming Captain America are both included in Marvel's master plan for an Avengers movie in 2012 featuring Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and Captain America among others. That will be an epic blockbuster with TONS of star power.

However, that got me thinking about some of the other 2012 movie releases. Take a look at this list in order by release date:

• Avengers
• Men In Black 3
• Prometheus
• Abraham Lincoln Vampire Killer (yes, it will be awesome)
• Star Trek (reboot sequel)
• The Amazing Spider Man (reboot)
• The Dark Knight Rises
  
• Total Recall (reboot)
  
• Twilight (final film)
• Superman: Man of Steel (reboot)
• The Hobbit

These are official with release dates. That doesn't even include several other blockbusters that don't have an official date yet but will be released:

• Godzilla (reboot with Toho involved)
• Ghostbusters 3 (planned)
• World War Z (a zombie movie that WILL win an Oscar)

I can't even believe this list. Every single movie on this list will make $100 million dollars easily. Several will certainly hit much, much higher. I would also say every single movie on the list is better than ANYTHING that is planned for 2011, with the exception of Super 8. Come on, a new LOTR movie, and Alien prequel, Superman, Batman AND Spider Man features??? This is ridiculous!!!

I may have to give up golf next year and spend my time in movie theaters!

Death to the BCS

In an article on ESPN.com, it is reported that the US Justice department has issued a letter to the NCAA questioning the anti-trust exemption that the BCS enjoys. The chief anti-trust attorney states:

"Serious questions continue to arise suggesting the current Bowl Championship Series system may not be conducted consistent with the competition principles expressed in the federal antitrust laws."

I ain't no lawyer, but I'm guessing some NCAA and BCS officials are getting very nervous. This in addition to an anti-trust lawsuit that is imminent from the attorney general of Utah, and likely other states. Don't forget the Fiesta Bowl disaster that is still undergoing investigation. All of this may force a dramatic change in the Bowl system that college football uses.

I'm not making a post to debate whether the NCAA should have a playoff (it should), or how many playoff teams should be included (clearly 16). I am posting because of my ABSOLUTE DISGUST with the response of Bill Hancock, the BCS director. I am so sick of the same argument that the NCAA, BCS and a lot of media keep throwing out there. This argument is summed up by Hancock himself:

"Goodness gracious, with all that's going on in the world right now and with national and state budgets being what they are, it seems like a waste of taxpayers' money to have the government looking into how college football games are played."

Look, there IS a lot going on in the world. Our government is very busy and faces challenges at the national, state and local levels. However, THAT DOESN'T GIVE THE BCS THE RIGHT TO BREAK THE LAW, SET UP UNFAIR COMPETITION, AND HOARD BILLIONS OF DOLLARS!!! You know what else is a waste of taxpayers' money Bill? How about millions of tax free dollars be filtered to politicians, benefactors and employees that support the Fiesta Bowl - ILLEGALLY!!! That's just the Fiesta Bowl, which got caught. You think the other BCS bowls are squeaky clean?

Do you think the anti-trust chief of the US Justice Department should be trying to solve the medicare crisis? Should she be formulating policy on Afghanistan? Maybe she should be helping out with the federal budget crisis. Heck, why can't she help out Cincinnati and figure out how to pay pensions to all the local police?

Of course, this is a ridiculous concept. Her job is to make sure that companies and entities don't break anti-trust laws. That's it! The government is very large and has many roles. Just because the world is a complex place, doesn't mean that we ignore the law and let things slide. She has every right to investigate the BCS, and I hope she nails them to the wall.

Brilliant

Every line from Private William Hudson in the movie Aliens. I could watch this all day...

Get Him a Bodybag - YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!

I KNEW it would work!!! Mr. Miyagi is smiling down from heaven.
I saw this on Deadspin today and cannot believe my eyes. On Saturday night, Lyoto Machida landed "The Crane" to Randy Couture's jaw, dislodging a molar and sending Couture into retirement. I watched it 10 times in a row, and still think it's awesome. They are calling it the greatest knockout in UFC history. Since I've never watched a UFC event, I guess I'll take their word on that!

The link is quickly disappearing from YouTube. This is the best I could do. Check out the original Deadspin post for another video option.

Please Fire Peter King

If you don't know who he is, Peter King is (somehow) the head NFL writer for Sports Illustrated. I included the parenthetical for two reasons...

1. Peter King writes at a 3rd grade level.
2. Peter King is a buffoon.

Yet, somehow, King gets first dibs on anything NFL related. And he typically proceeds to butcher the subject matter with incoherent gibberish.

His most recent attempt at journalism was in the aftermath of a US Judge ending the NFL lockout earlier this week. An appeal of the decision is likely, and one of the determining factors in that appeal is whether or not the lockout constitutes "irreparable harm" to the players. In ending the lockout, Judge Nelson believed it did. Here's how King explains how the NFL will contend otherwise...

One legal expert said Monday night he would be surprised if both Nelson and the appeals court denied the stay. His reasoning was that the league would argue that irreparable harm couldn't be done to players in April and May if they were in limbo, and free agency, if it began in June, would still give the estimated 495 free-agent players time to find employment for the 2011 season.

Compare that to a similar explanation by SI's resident legal expert Michael McCann

Judge Nelson was convinced that players would suffer irreparable harm -- meaning a harm that cannot be adequately remedied by money damages, including even trebled damages in antitrust lawsuits -- if they lost the 2011 season. The players argued, to Judge Nelson's satisfaction, that by sitting out one season, players' skills would diminish and careers would be shortened. She also highlighted how unrestricted free agents are in "contractual limbo" and that 2011 rookies would be unfairly harmed by a lockout since they could not play in the NFL or college in 2011, and then they would return in 2012 and compete against next year's rookies, who would have benefited by playing the 2011 college football season.

Now, which one of those more clearly explains the situation? If you said King, congratulations! You're a moron. Yet, for some reason - name recognition, I can only assume - King's article is highlighted on the homepage at si.com and McCann's is buried. It would seem to me, as an unbiased consumer, that you would want to call more attention to the more informative option. But I need to remind myself that journalism today is less about informing and more about page views. Disappointing...

More teams, more money, more problems

For the past 15 years, baseball has used the following format for their playoffs: 3 division winners and a wild-card in each league. This meant that only 8 teams out of 30 would make the playoffs, and teams compete for more than just their division pennant. Baseball has the fewest number of teams make the playoffs, and also has the highest number of games in their regular season. The result is a regular-season that counts more than any other professional sport in America, with the (at least in my opinion) exception of football.

I’ve long argued that while the baseball season is way too long, tradition and the fact that it matters so much to determine playoff teams, kept the 162-game season relevant. Now, however, in the tradition of college football and the BCS, baseball is poised to add another two teams to the playoffs . The proposed format would have the wildcard teams play each other in the first round, with the winner advancing and playing against the best division winner in the Divisional series.

This is not a big change for the playoff system, but it is a big change for baseball. If you use 1900 as the start of the modern era, baseball has modified its playoff format twice, by creating two divisions in each league in 1968, and by creating three divisions and a wildcard in 1994. A third change, to two wildcard teams, will most likely occur in 2012, meaning that there have been two format changes in 18 years.

I’m opposed to this new format change, because, like college basketball and the NCAA tournament, I see it as only a first step. You get some more teams in the playoffs (or the tourney), but the format is so odd that no one really likes it. So then you’ve got to make it better, and the only way to do that is to add some more teams to make the first round a “real” first round. It’s like having a baseball’s version of a play-in game for the playoffs. And while VCU was a play-in team and had a great run in the NCAA tourney this year, I argue that most people think the extra games just make the playoffs go too long and cheapen a good thing.

In the end, what’s driving this is the almighty dollar. More games = more TV time = more money from broadcasting rights. It’s a simple formula to which it seems every major sport in America is selling out. I liked baseball’s 4-team playoffs; it made sense and worked to benefit divisions that had more than one good team. Now I’m just waiting and wondering when the next “improvement” to baseball’s playoffs is coming.

June 8, 2012

Pretty slow day for Heffernan news. Not much going on at all, right? Riiiiiight!

On an unrelated note, I have been peripherally following this story for months, and have been on the fence. Until now. I am now going all-in. The Alien prequel, currently in development is going to be the best movie in the history of cinema.

Okay, maybe that is a bit of a stretch, but I have no further doubt that this will be an amazing film. Ridley Scott - check. H.R. Giger - check. Aliens - check. Rated R - check. Mega budget - check. Epic scope - check. Something completely new, imaginative and breathtaking - check (according to all reports from Scott and his actors). The only thing I am holding out on are the characters. It's tough to beat a couple dozen colonial marines who are wisecracking for half the movie. Hopefully, they will not make the mistake of trying to replace Sigourney Weaver with a pseudo-Ripley heroine. We've been let down before, so this will be tough.

I have been reading a lot of the news as this project has come to fruition. You can get caught up at the Alien Prequel News website. However, I am strongly considering a 100% moratorium on any future news. Although the plot is a total secret, and a lot of misinformation is floating around, you know details will emerge. However, if you are on the fence as I was, reading through some of this will convince you.

So I propose a Heffernan expedition to the biggest, baddest 3D IMAX theater around to see Prometheus (working title) on opening night. Right now, Fox has claimed June 8, 2012 for a possible blockbuster run for the upcoming prequel. Mark your calendars, and let's roll.

Game Over - China Wins!

Suspected site of China's top secret time machine!

China is a capitalist economy with a communist government. Essentially this allows the government to control resources, information and ultimately, 1.2 billion citizens. We all know about China's notorious censorship over the media and internet. They must protect the minds of the masses from anything that may incite revolution.

So I read the following NY Times article with initial amusement, only to be followed by concern and fear.

Making TV Safer: Chinese Censors Crack Down on Time Travel

Initially, I thought this was hilarious. Then I started to wonder. Why would China really care if people watched Back to the Future or The Time Machine? It doesn't subvert their national agenda. It's not like the citizens will demand revolution after watching Marty McFly ride a skateboard through 1950's USA.

I have now come to the only possible explanation. China is currently working on a massive covert project to create a time machine. They plan to go back in time, change history and become the dominant culture of the entire planet. They don't want time travel questions to cloud the minds of the people and scientists slaving away on this project, so all ideas on time travel are now BANNED!

How does it work? How should I know. I just think we've gotta build our own time machine stat, or take out theirs before we wake up speaking Mandarin. I'm thinking the Three Rivers Gorge might be a good place to start looking for this project.

Roadkill Cook-Off

So I was reading "Reader's Digest" (bathroom literature) tonight, and noticed an interesting article. It was about local Americana pastimes and traditions, and one pooped, er... popped out at me:

"West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off
Recent prize-winning dishes have included splat-cat and smeared hog with groundhog gravy. In Marlinton, WV."

Now I don't know if mom and dad ever went to the Roadkill Cook-Off when they lived in Marlinton, but Ted, I think this could be the smoking gun for proof of why you had that hernia!