Roadkill Cook-Off

So I was reading "Reader's Digest" (bathroom literature) tonight, and noticed an interesting article. It was about local Americana pastimes and traditions, and one pooped, er... popped out at me:

"West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off
Recent prize-winning dishes have included splat-cat and smeared hog with groundhog gravy. In Marlinton, WV."

Now I don't know if mom and dad ever went to the Roadkill Cook-Off when they lived in Marlinton, but Ted, I think this could be the smoking gun for proof of why you had that hernia!