Kobayashi Running Scared

In the world of competitive eating, there is really only one name - KOBAYASHI! The tiny Japanese phenom has won 6 straight Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Competitions at Coney Island. The competition, generally considered the Super Bowl of eating, is held annually on the 4th of July. Not only has Kabayashi won, he has demolished his competition, often besting his own world record in the process. Last year, he put down a remarkable 53.75 hot dogs in 12 minutes.

So today, 10 days before the big event, Kobayashi posted a blog entry titled "Vocational Disease." He describes how he has recently been diagnosed with TMJ syndrome and cannot open his mouth wider than his fingertip! He goes on to call his injury a "fatal wound" similar to torn ligaments in pitcher's arm. Now I'm not an expert or anything - WAIT! I am an expert! I am a radiologist trained in evaluating TMJ syndrome! I know a lot about this, and while this is a real problem that can cause some significant pain, I've never heard of it so severe that one cannot open his mouth!

What's really going on here? It is plainly obvious that Kobayashi is afraid! That's right! His biggest challenger, Joey Chestnut, just shattered Kobayashi's world record last month putting down 59.5 hot dogs!!! Now, realizing he would probably lose, he makes up some excuse and either skips Nathan's or has an out, should he show up and not win. This punk is robbing Chestnut of his deserved glory. Without Kobayashi, it won't even be a contest. Then again, it wouldn't have been a contest with him anyway. Chestnut is now THE MAN! USA has finally regained it's rightful crown for competitive eating!