Top 5 'Staches

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, the Royal Heffernans ventured where no man should venture without much support. So together, the younger Heffernan's bonded together and grew mustaches. A bold plan was hatched and described in the previous post. As the weeks rolled past and the beards and goatees were trimmed down to mustaches, it was decided that there are only a few men who can truly pull off the 'stache. To honor those with great mustaches, I have compiled my very own Top 5 mustache wearers:

5. Super Mario
I can remember playing Super Mario Brothers with the mustachioed plumber himself. Mario was and still is a gaming icon, his 'stache selling games worldwide across no fewer than 5 gaming consoles from Nintendo (original, Super NES, N64, Wii, and Gameboy). Without the 'stache, there is little doubt that the Mario franchise would not have seen the sales and cult-like following it enjoys today. If mothers are looking to blame anything for their kids' addiction to video games, they need look no further than Mario and his 'stache.

4. George Eads (aka Nick Stokes)
When George Eads appeared on CSI with his mustache, it was the epitome of porn-star salutes. Eads, who plays CSI Nick Stokes, was heckled both on the show during filming by fellow CSI's, and off the show by co-stars and the media, for his adult-entertainment personification. All you need to do is look at his picture, dressed up in his CSI suit, and you can easily imagine George Eads/Nick Stokes as a porn star.

3. Rollie Fingers
Everyone wants the rolled 'stache, and Rollie Fingers is forever identified with it. Twirled up on the ends, every man wants it, but so very few can actually pull it off. Ted spoke of shaping his 'stache, but alas, none of us could pull off the shaped and looping mustache.

2. Tom Selleck
Tom Selleck did for the mustache what J-Lo did for butts - grew it big and made it look sexy. As Magnum, P.I., Selleck showed the 'stache for eight seasons, and made women order men with a hairy upper lip. Magnum got the girls while sporting the hairy chest and the bushy mustache, and simultaneously made every man emulate him through the 1980's. Unfortunately, the mustache-growing-mania meant a 'stache-backlash by anyone not old enough to grow a 'stache by 1986. Thus Magnum was both champion and goat of the mustache during the late 20th Century.

1. Thomas Heffernan III
Dad is Dad, but wouldn't be Dad without his mustache. Since growing his first mustache at age 8 (Heffernans blossom early), Dad has maintained his mustache throughout the next 48 years of life, with only a brief clean-shaven hiatus during his wedding to Mom back in 1972, for which mom was forever scarred. Dad has shown many what it means to sport the 'stache, and while many have tried to equal the quality of upper-lipmanship that Dad has achieved (myself included) it is concluded that there is only one Dad, and his mustache is King.