Respect The Mustache

Several months ago, the Heffernan boys got word from Mom that Dad had been considering the unthinkable - shaving his mustache. This rocked us to our core. We had no idea what spurred Dad to ponder this crazy idea. All we knew is that Dad had always had a mustache as long as any of his had been alive. The only time we had ever even seen Dad without his trademark 'stache was in pictures for his own wedding. So we decided to act in the only way we knew how - we grew our own mustaches!

The plan was hatched during the week of Colin's wedding, and formalized through a series of emails between brothers in the months leading up to Thanksgiving. The first critical step was wife approval. All wives reluctantly agreed on one condition - no mustache until Thanksgiving. Thus, each brother grew either a beard or goatee, slowly grooming it before the big day. Then, before arriving in Cincinnati for our family holiday, the mustache would be revealed! What follows is a brief description of each brothers' road to mustache glory...

Ted
The eldest Heffernan brother had sported a goatee several times in the past. Usually, this was a result of laziness with regards to shaving. It was often reserved for wilderness trips including the Boundary Waters and a prior Western road trip. This past experience served him well as he decided to sculpt a goatee into the mustache. Ted began his goatee on September 25, after his last 1st call as a radiology resident EVER! Over the next 7 weeks, the goatee grew in very nicely. He passed the dreaded "itchy" phase after a month and it was smooth sailing after that. His mustache was finally sculpted Monday night on November 20, to allow his coworkers the opportunity to see the fruit of his labor. The 'stache most closely resembled a young Uncle Dan, with the corners curling below the corners of his lips.

Ian
Ian was the most reluctant of the Heffernan brothers in the mustache endeavor. Repeated emails questioning if we were still going through with this were answered with a resounding yes. Ian elected to go with a full beard in preparing his fledgling 'stache. He hated every minute of it as it became more and more itchy. When he finally trimmed the beard, the 'stache that remained was sure to get him a full search by airport security. The 'stache most closely resembled a young Magnum PI although not quite as bushy.

Colin
Colin was surely the most enthusiastic participant in growing a 'satche. According to his wife, he stroked his growing facial hair constantly, and discussion of possible 'stache styles dominated their evening conversations. Colin was also remiss to shave his mustache, unsuccessfully lobbying his brothers to keep them through Thanksgiving. The 'stache most closely resembled a young Uncle Terry, thin and long, extending well beyond the corners of his lips.

Kevin
Kevin also went with the full beard route. However, Kevin possesses a distinct advantage over his brothers - he has red facial hair! Thus, Kevin crafted a redbeard that would be the envy of any Notre Dame leprechaun. It was also the envy of his boss. Kevin proudly displayed his facial hair at work - even getting an ID photo taken with a full beard. His boss demanded that Kevin reveal the 'stache at work before leaving for Thanksgiving. Kevin complied and made that boss feel like a lesser man. This was truly an original 'stache. Thinner than the other Heffernan boys, it had the distinct advantage of being red.

So after finally arriving Wednesday night, the above photo was taken and the brothers went to sleep one last time with their 'staches. The next morning, Ian cracked and decided to shave. The rest of the brothers followed suit, Colin reluctantly, and the 'staches were no more. However, Dad never did get rid of his mustache. I think he got the message, thanks to a little help from the friends on our upper lips.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!