The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Greatest Team Ever?



Ian's tribute to my birthday made me realize a couple things. First, all my brothers' stories date back to before high school. There is a serious lack of good Ted stories after this. I think my friends in high school and college are dropping the ball, because plenty of ammo is available. Second, Mrs. T's Pierogies may be one of the all-time great teams in sports history. Why do I say this? Let me count the ways.

Dad was the coach. Dad listened to Ted and Ian, so we got to help run the team. Dad also was the enforcer. Anyone challenging his authority was quickly put down. The Wilson family was a bunch of loudmouths who challenged Dad's decision to bench Rocky frequently. That dude was a burnout at age 13! He deserved to sit, and they couldn't argue with the results. This also was the origin of the lawnchair. Dad standing up = raging lunatic. Dad sitting in a lawn chair = Michael Corleon pulling the strings.

Launching pad for Heffernan soccer greatness. Ted led the way by rolling through the MSA season. This led to a White River State Championship and four year starting status in high school. Immortality eluded Ted by a combination of factors: moving away the city he had conquered, knee and ankle injuries, the drive to also be valedictorian, and of course not being allowed to kick his PK barefoot against Summit. Ian's lifelong fascination with goalkeeper was born. He also made a White River appearance before ascending to greatness at McNick. Again, immortality eludes Ian as a devestating 1st round upset ends his senior year. Colin and Kevin were only ballboys for Mrs. T's, but they learned from their elders well. Perhaps they should have paid closer attention to Dad's lawn chair concept.

Jerry Gorka, Jeff Berbitsky, Vinh Le and a cast of misfits. Come on, with this group of guys, it appeared we had no chance. However, everyone knew their roles well and played them to perfection. Vinh was an out of control speed demon in the backfield. Frick was a great defender and Chris was a bruiser. Steve Cox was a great midfield compliment, and Jim Cressy was a scoring machine. Tim Gray was a dominating keeper, and even fought through a broken arm in the title match. Berbitsky was a nice balance up front scoring some key goals. And of course Jerry Gorka. CHALLENGE HIM, CHALLENGE HIM, CHALLENGE HIM JERRY! His trip during the championship is classic!

That was a great team. If anyone doubts it, I still have the championship game on VHS. We completely demoralized Auten Road Marathon. Here's a few stats and results to take you back. Compiled on Lotus 123 in 1989 during that dream season.


4 comments:

ian said...

I'd like to mention that I was tied for 3rd highest scorer and I was playing 2 years up. Meaning I was probably the youngest player in the league by 6 months. Also, after that season I was asked to play keeper for the U-16 White Water team. I was 12. Mom and Dad wouldn't let me because they thought I was too young...

The only comparison I can make for that Mrs. T's team is the New England Patriots. We had our Tom Brady (Ted) and everyone else, like Ted said, just knew their role. The pieces (and personalities) fit together like a glove and we were pretty much unstoppable.

Kevin said...

L.I.S. kicked your guys' asses. You got shut-out AND allowed 2 goals - not good for the top scorer and a super-goalie!

Anonymous said...

Wow, one glowing article from his brother and Ted starts talking in the third person. Be careful Brutus Buckeye...you ain't got the biggest knoggin' in town no mo!

Oh and I'd like to nominate my wedding reception and the night o' 24 beers at UD as Ted stories. If you think HS and college buddies are dropping the ball give me an account. You fear me Heffernans!!! That's why I'm relegated to the lowly comments section... Then again, I'd probably be forced to relate the time I shit Tate's car so its probably all for the best. Ciao beeyatches.

Unknown said...

Ted, Thank you for posting this particular blog. First, let me point out that this is the first time I have come across your site (is it Ian's or yours?). Second, Ryan Frick and I often relive the best years of our lives, at least athletically speaking. We often think back to that magical season :) Your statistics and post brought in a flood of memories, especially Gorka's dad. Please send my warm regards to your family. I would be interested to get a copy of the VHS tape.


Jeff Berebitsky