HD in the House

As requested, here are some photos of the new HDTV...






The plan is to get a new media stand soon, but for the time being we're just using this little side table so we could get the clunky old tv cabinet out of the room.

It's interesting to note a couple things I was unaware of with regards to HD programming.

1. Although a channel is HD, e.g. ESPN-HD or NBC-HD, I would say only about 10-15% of the programs are actually in high-definition. This is okay because almost all primetime shows are broadcast in HD. It's just that your local news, daytime television and such are just standard 480i. That's something the cable companies fail to mention.
   
2. Although there are 2 main HD formats - 720p and 1080i - almost every HD station is broadcast in 1080i. ESPN-HD is the lone exception, broadcasting in 720p. And from initial inspections 720p is far superior.
   

As for programming, SportsCenter is absolutely stunning. It is by far the highest quality HD program I have seen since I have had the tv. I know this will sound cliche, but it is honestly as if Dan Patrick was sitting 8 feet away from me in my family room. PBS-HD and Discovery HD have had some beautiful programs as well. Discovery is running a special on the African savannah called 'Equator'. I think Stephanie summed it up best when she said, and I quote, "This show alone is worth the price of the new tv." Rock...

HDTV Pictures?

Ian,

Where are the pictures you promised? Some of us need to live our HD lives vicariously through you!

HDTV Underway

One of the conditions of me sacrificing my thumbs, knuckles, and back over the past year as I finished our basement was that I get to buy an HDTV upon completion. Well, the basement is finished. You know what that means? That's right, baby, a new HDTV!

I did a lot of research before buying and a lot of questions needed to be answered:

1. Plasma, LCD, or DLP?
   I decided that Plasma was too pricey and the DLP was just too big since you can't get DLP less than 42-inches. LCD offered the best combination of sizes and cost.
   
2. Size?
   Given that most HDTVs are widescreen, a 26-inch model is much smaller than a 26-inch CRT. 32-inches seemed like a good compromise between picture size and overall cabinet size.
   
3. Connectivity options?
   HDMI was a must, as were multiple component video inputs. I wasn't too concerned with CableCard since it's still only single-stream and I must have my on-screen guide.
   

After a lot of soul searching I settled upon the Dell W3201C (I know, I'm normally a Sony junkie, but their HDTVs are just too expensive). It's a 32-inch LCD with a ton of connectivity options (HDMI x2, component x2, composite), detachable speakers, and it looks great to boot. I still had two problems though - 1) Since it was a Dell, I had nowhere to view the actual picture quality and 2) It was a bit more expensive than I was hoping to spend.

Well, the first problem was solved as we travelled out west to visit Bridget over the New Year holiday. During our layover in Dallas there was a Dell electronics stand directly across from our gate. They had the 3201 on display and not only did the picture look great, but the TV itself was the best looking television I had seen. Stephanie agreed that the picture quality was outstanding and the external aesthetics were impressive and we were one step closer...

The next hurdle worked itself out the other day as Dell put together the perfect storm of purchase incentives - $200 off the 3201, no interest for 18 months, and free shipping. That, combined with an additional $100 discount Stephanie receives through Discovery, and we were in business. So last night the TV was ordered and should arrive with time to spare for Super Bowl XL. So say hello to my soon-to-be new HDTV...



Once the TV arrives I'm planning on getting an HDTV DVR through my cable provider. I'll post another entry and some photos once everything is setup and working.

So if anyone wants to visit DC this summer, I hear ABC and ESPN are broadcasting every single World Cup game in HD. Just saying...

Reds shake-up

For all of you who didn't hear because the Reds are a "small-market" team, Dan O'Brien was fired yesterday by the new Reds owner, Bob Castellini. Castellini had this to say about O'Brien:
"He tried very, very hard." Unfortunately, Castellini is a Yoda-protoge and doesn't believe in trying. He want's results.

To this end, Castellini brought in an outside advisor to review the pitching staff in Cincinnati. Jim Beattie is going to llok over the pitching program and find a way to fix it. "What I want him to focus on while he's here is to take a look at our entire pitching program, from soup to nuts, and see what our plan is and let me know," Castellini said. "Because I haven't been able to fully understand what our plan is." Apparently that's why O'Brien was dismissed.

In two seasons under O'Brien the Reds have gone 149-175. They narrowly avoided the cellar in a division with such stand-outs as the Pirates, Brewers, and Cubs. A change is necessary. Castellini wants the new GM to "establish a culture of winning" for his team and says that a lot of changes are going to occur and soon.

Personally, I think the Reds are starting to look up. Half the guys on the team should be in triple-A at best, the other half have no incentive to play hard. I don't think much will happen with the Reds this year - there's just too much change in the wind and I think a lot of players will end up somewhere else. But starting in 2007, we could see some real baseball back in Cincinnati! Who-dey! er... I mean, GO REDS!

USC: The Dynasty That Wasn't

As the cardboard heads in the Guinness commercial like to say, "Brilliant!". Sometimes I wish I was more creative and could think of cool ways to enrage my enemies like this, but my feeble brain inevitably strays to thoughts of koala bears piloting rocketships and what would happen if I loaded a watermelon with fireworks... hmmm... gotta go.

Chuck Norris Revisited

Sorry, I just couldn't leave this one alone. After my previous call for Chuck Norris to be the patron action hero of our blog, I have uncovered new evidence that he is indeed a man's man. Check out this portrait. It will go on posters for the brand new Chuck Norris World Combat League!!! It starts soon at the Mohegan Sun casino. You know, the one that hosts all the women's billiards tourneys!

The Reds Will Be Back

I just listened to Robert Castellini, the new owner of the Cincinnati Reds give his first press conference. I think in 2-3 years I may have hope come springtime.

Sam Young, Golden Domer

Yesterday Sam Young, a 6-foot-8, 302lb, high school senior, who also happens to be the highest ranked OL recruit in the nation, chose Notre Dame over USC. Guys this size don't grow on trees and, with a depleted O-line, it's a boon for Notre Dame's recruiting class. That Notre Dame beat out USC in the process is just icing on the cake. Young was quoted as saying that academics played a large part in his decision to choose Notre Dame, but he's not kidding anyone. If ND had finished the season at 6-6, Young would be a Trojan.

Just look at that kid - if he wasn't born to were the Blue & Gold, I don't know who was. Oh, and by the way, I totally had another post planned in case Young chose USC that said 6-8, 302lb linemen do grow on trees and more often than not, they never reach their potential. But I'm glad I didn't have to go with that one.

Huzzah for 24!

I have to admit, I didn't get into the television show 24 until there were about 6 episodes left last season. Now, I'm a junky. Kiefer and his zany undercover antics are a necessary shot in the vein on Monday nights.

When it comes to television dramas, I watch precious few - Law & Order (mainly because the 'duh-duh' noise makes Steph fall asleep), Prison Break (on hiatus until March), Lost, and now 24. Of those 4, Lost and 24 are a cut above. And of those 2, 24 is head and shoulders better. Here's why - the writers for 24 have got some balls. SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! Within 10 minutes of the latest season of 24, 3 of the series' major characters had been killed off (good thing president David Palmer has that Allstate gig to fall back on). In the second episode terrorists were shooting hostages in the head like they were turkeys. What other show has the guts to try that, much less pull it off. I've watched entire episodes of Lost where the only action is everyone trying to decide who's turn it is to stare at a blank computer screen. I'm intrigued by Lost, but they can only dangle the carrot so long before I punch them in the sack and demand some answers.

24 doesn't keep me waiting, every episode is chock-full o' action. And good action too - not the kind that makes me hurl obscenities at the television and storm off in a rage because the characters are so stupid. I can only hope that 24 can keep up this frenetic pace now that I'm onboard, because it makes Monday nights that much less miserable.

Hunter the Punter

Not only is he a great punter, he is a great musician as well.

Long Weekends and California Rule

In honor of my trip to Dana Point, CA over New Year's and to celebrate the long weekend:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
Also, the Original.

What exactly does this all mean? Who knows, but apparently it involves a baseball bat.

The Future is Now! And it's underwhelming...

So I just finished a delicious lunch consisting of left-over jumbalaya (God bless you, Zataran's) and a perfectly ripe Sunkist orange. My only complaint - the orange forced me to wash my hands for 5 minutes and clean the monitor on my computer screen. What's my point? We now live in the 21st century and science can't even make a stinking orange that peels easily.

People used to have such high hopes for the future. Cartoons told me of the 'House of the Future!' that would have self-configuring rooms, would be build on retractable stilts in case of flooding, and would have a live pig under the sink instead of a garbage disposal. Arthur C. Clarke and Stanly Kubrick thought we would've already sent multiple, human-carrying spaceships to Jupiter by now. If we're to believe James Cameron, Skynet has now been online for almost ten years. And by Ridley Scott's rationale, we should have flying cars, robots that can't be differentiated from humans, and should be speaking some strange hybrid of Chinese, Spanish, and English. Instead we're stuck with bogus "advances" like dual-core processors, hybrid cars, laser eye surgery, and spaceships that blow up every third take-off - although Ridley was close with the language thing. It's an embarassment.

So where did we go wrong? My guess is we lost enthusiasm and interest around the time the Soviet Union collapsed. With the good, old USSR it was always a race to the latest and greatest between them and us. Once they were gone, we just got complacent. Who needs an array of satellite lasers in low orbit around the Earth, poised to shoot down enemy missiles if we don't have any enemies with missiles? So by my stellar, irrefutable reasoning, we can blame this one on the Russkies, along with Stalin, poor hygiene, and Yakoff Smirnoff.

According to calculations I made when I was seven, I should be dictating this blog entry (there's a life-altering advance right there - the blog. Woo Hoo, Science!) while on a shuttle to my vacation home on the moon to my robot slave, who I will have named Daneel. Forget the whole HD-DVD v. Blu-Ray debate - I should be watching life-like holographic representations in 3-D! But if I can't get the flying cars, spaceships, and robot servants, can someone at the very least get me an orange I can eat in public?

HD DVD VS. Blu-Ray

The battle is about to begin between HD DVD and Blu-Ray. If you aren't familiar with these technologies you should be because this summer they will represent the future of home cinema. Basically information is written on these new discs using a blue laser as opposed to a red laser which current DVD discs use. This blue laser allows for more information to be written on discs, between 15 and 100 GB. This additional space is the perfect method of creating high definition movies for home cinema. The only problem is that there are 2 competing technologies, much like Beta and VHS, and different corporations are lining up behind each technology. Toshiba created HD DVD which is less expensive and easier to produce, whereas Sony created Blu-ray which is more expensive and more difficult to produce, but has more possibilities. Who will eventually win, no one knows. However this Heffernan is betting on HD DVD.

Heffernan Family Events – Vol. 5

The Heffernan Family is defined by its history together and apart. Well-known to us, but maybe not to everyone are the family members and all those other people, places, and events that serve to make up our own unique family identity. This post if an effort to detail the people and events that make us the Royal Heffernans.

Bridget, the only girl

She’s the only Heffernan female that never wasn’t a Heffernan. She’s Bridget, the middle child that grew up with two older and two younger male siblings who loved nothing better than letting “the girl Heffernan” know that’s what she was, just a girl. Anyone who knows Bridget knows that she’s definitely a Heffernan, at least now. But there were a few times in her life that Bridget definitely didn’t act like a Heffernan.

Bridget, like all Heffernan children, was tormented every weekend by mom. Mom made us take piano lessons from her, and I think the only thing worse than having to sit there and play was having to listen to how awful most of us were. Bridget was smart- she joined the St. Matthew’s school band to escape the Sunday piano lesson hell. We somehow acquired Grandpa Heffernan’s old trumpet, with its sturdy leather-covered-wooden case, and Bridget’s lessons began. Those were the days when we walked home from school because, well, frankly because mom refused to come get us. That and we liked throwing snowballs at the LOOKS sign. I digress…

Bridget also was required to walk home. Unfortunately, she was twelve and her trumpet accounted for nearly 13.82% of her body weight. Since she had to walk home after band practice, she had no one to help carry. Bridget would usually make it roughly halfway home, to the library on Miami and Ewing, before she would make a collect-call home, crying and sobbing about how heavy her trumpet was. At this point mom would be pissed but would still go pick her up. Upon arrived home, one of Bridget’s brothers would make fun of her and Bridget would throw her trumpet case at them, trumpet included. The last comment before Bridget disappeared would be “If you’re strong enough to throw it, why couldn’t you carry it?”

But Bridget also had other breakdowns. Her first actual breakdown occurred on the Great Western Expedition to Yellowstone. Dad and mom planned a enjoyable, leisurely hike in the natural settings to a scenic river spot. Apparently dad couldn’t read the map because what was supposed to be leisurely turned out to be a 20-mile death march reminiscent of the Trail of Tears. Getting to the river wasn’t bad, but by the time we turned around we were already tired, thirsty, and hungry. Several of us were being carried, but Bridget, complaining about how far there was left to go, simply stopped. Sitting down on the side of the trail she uttered that now famous statement: “Leave me here! I’m just gonna sit here and DIE!” She eventually got up and we all made it back to our cabin, tired and thirsty and hungry and seriously doubting dad’s ability to read a map.

Bridget was also a driving maniac at two distinct points in life. She is still the only Heffernan to have damaged a car parking either in the garage or in the driveway. She tried to lie about it, and to this day denies killing the front fender of the Camry, but we all know it was her. The other time was when she backed up the large gray conversion van. Now granted, it was old, in need of serious repairs, and had probably outlived its prime, but I really think the mailbox could have lasted at least a few more years if Bridget hadn’t run it over. The mailbox must be nearly 8 feet from the driveway, and Bridget took it out clean. To actually hit it was a feat in-and-of-itself! Go Bridget!

But Bridget earned her Heffernan stripes, as they say, in high school. She made Heffernans proud everywhere when an ex-girlfriend of Ian’s had tried to bad-mouth Ian. Bridget was just a junior and the ex was a senior, but Bridget still told her to shut up. When the senior didn’t stop Bridget shut her up- with a stiff right hook that knocked her two rows down at a football game. Now I’m no fighting expert, but I have seen girls fight before, and it usually involved a lot of hair-pulling, slapping, and angry squeals. But Bridget is a Heffernan, and even Heffernan women fight tough.

We’ve got to give Bridget some credit; she took a number of lumps throughout life from her brothers and she usually handled things pretty well. Most of the time we were proud to have her as a sister. But she had a few moments when all you could do was hide from whatever object was thrown at you and wait a few years to laugh about it.

I Hate the Pittsburgh Steelers

Cincinnati and Pittsburgh are less than 300 miles apart. The geography of both cities is similar, with both resting on the Ohio river. The cities themselves are eerily similar in their architecture and layout. But there is one very big difference - the Cincinnati Bengals are awesome and the Pittsburgh Steelers are a bunch of cheap-shot hacks who can't admit when they are gifted a victory.

I was 14 years old the last time the Bengals played in a playoff game - that's 15 years for those keeping score at home - so to say I was excited for this afternoon's game would be an understatement. I was sick of everyone saying the Bengals were in a slump entering the game, having lost their last two, while the Steelers were peaking, winning four straight. WTF?! The Bengals had clinched the division title with two games left to play! They lost because they were resting almost all of their starters to avoid injury going into the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Steelers were in a must-win situation for each of their last four games - they had to win, plus hope for a San Diego choke-job, just to get into the playoffs. Goddamn, ignorant media strikes again.

Alas, the Bengals' stategy to rest their players going into the playoffs failed miserably as on the second play of the game, the fucking second play, Carson Palmer hit Chris Henry for a 66 yard game and had Kimo von Oelhoffen roll his knee a full three seconds after the ball left his hand, tearing both his ACL and MCL. Adding insult to injury, or, more accurately, adding injury to injury, Chris Henry, the recipient of the aforementioned pass, injured his knee on the play. Less than two minutes into the game I've been waiting 15 years for and our MVP quarterback and second best receiver are out of the game.

John Kitna filled in admirably, but eventually resumed playing like John Kitna. Final score - 31-17, Pittsburgh.

Am I pissed we lost? Yeah, would I be blogging if I wasn't pissed? But I wouldn't be so pissed if the Bengals had been healthy and just been beaten. I'm pissed because the fucking Steelers acted like they just took the Bengals' best shot and won. Quotes after the game from Steelers players ranged from, "They wanted to make us pass, and we proved we could pass on them." to "Who Dey? Who Dey? We Dey."

You fucking amateurs. Not one of the Steelers mentioned the Palmer injury. You think losing the NFL's leading TD passer and team record holder in yards passing for a season had anything to do with your win, r-tards? Why don't we sit Roethlisberger for a game and see how well you do with Tommy Maddox at the helm.

What a cruel, cruel joke. My only consolation comes from the fact that the Steelers must now travel to Indianapolis to play the Colts. I am praying that the Colts come out to win one for coach Dungy and not like they're still at a funeral. I am praying that the Steelers get their comeuppance in the form of a 84-0 thrashing at the hands of the Colts. Or I'll settle for Dwight Freeney tearing off Roethlisberger's leg and beating Hines Ward unconcious with it, then stealing Ward's pants and taking illicit photos of him with the Colts mascot and posting them on the internet. One or the other, I'm not picky...

Peter Jackson is a Hack

This Christmas I bought myself the original T.V. version of The Lord of the Rings on DVD. This version was made in 1978 and was directed by Ralph Bakshi. I didn't expect a whole lot out of this movie because I have seen Peter Jackson's versions countless times and consider them some of the best movies ever made, but I thought it would be near to see what the 1978 version was like. Well, much to my amazement the 1978 version is strangely similar to Peter Jackson's version. In fact, it is so similar that I am surprised that no one in popular media has mentioned it. Now when I say that they are similar I don't mean just storyline. This would be ridiculous since the movies are based on a book and there is only so much deviation you could do before 2 versions of the same book begin to look similar. What I am talking about is the characters and scenes which are almost spot on what we see in the most recent versions.

Take Frodo and Sam, their voices and mannerisms are almost identical in both versions. I can say with some confidence that the actors in Peter Jackson's version most definitely viewed the original version and based a great deal of their characters on the original. Also, the scenes in the 1978 version again are very similar to the 2001 version. Again, I realize that both of these versions are based upon the same novel, but I have read the novels and there is only so much information one can get about what certain landmarks and scenes look like. Also, scenes from the 1978 version are almost identical in terms of cinematography to the 2001 version.

I admit I am not a film expert, but if you watch Ralph Bakshi's 1978 version you will notice unmistakable similarities to Peter Jackson's 2001 version. I would even say that if Bakshi had the technology of today back then he might have even been able to do a better version.

The Best Blog Posting Ever!

There is a problem with today's media - well, there are LOTS of problems with today's media, but I'm going to focus on one: instant history. Instant history can be briefly defined, by me, as an overuse of superlatives. Everything today is the biggest, fastest, or best. Plain old 'good' is no longer good enough. Along with 90% of the other material on this blog, this one of course also relates to college football, specifically the 2005 USC team that the media was proclaiming the best ever. ESPN went so far as to run a 12 day poll that pitted the 2005 USC team against their "greatest" teams of all-time. The fans voted for USC in every game but one. The only problem - this scientific survey took place over the last 3 weeks and USC lost to Texas last night. Bravo, ESPN, you are retarded. Here's a fork with a cork on the end so you don't hurt yourself.

I get the fascination - everyone wants to bear witness to or be a part of the greatest events of all-time. So the media instantly plays them up. They'll try to offset them with lead-ins like, "... that some are calling the biggest/worst/most devastating...", but then never define who those "some" are. So in essence they are proclaiming it the biggest/worst/most devastating. It's a complete lack of journalistic integrity. It's creating hysteria for the sake of creating hysteria just so that people can say, "I remember that!".

Case in point: Only 13 short months ago a tidal wave struck in the Indian Ocean that killed almost 300,000 people. 300,000 fucking people. Truly, that has to be one of the worst natural disasters in recorded history - and it was duly reported as such. Then this summer the Gulf Coast was struck by hurricane Katrina. The unofficial death toll is just shy of 2000, yet journalists and reporters instantly forgot the horrific tsunami that struck not 9 months prior and began calling Katrina one of the worst catastrophes ever. Now, I'm not belittling the damage of Katrina - my brother and his family live in New Orleans - but to equate Katrina with the Indian tsunami is a joke. It got the news because, yes, it was closer to home, but more realistically because it happened more recently.

Another example: The NFL. Last year at this time people were calling the New England Patriots a dynasty. Easily one of the greatest teams in NFL history, they said. Hey, they won the Super Bowl 3 out of 4 years. Fast forward 12 months - the Indianapolis Colts are the greatest team in the history of the NFL. Never mind that this team hasn't won anything yet. They're the best.

It's irresponsible at best and it's annoying at all times. Things, be it events, teams, persons, etc..., for the most part do not become "history" after 12 hours. Those are current events, friend. Only time will which items we remember and which we don't. And that is when you can break out your superlatives - when you look back five years later after things have settled in and you can still say, "You know what band was awesome? Led Zeppelin." not when you say, "You know what band was awesome? That one, that had that song that was in that Gap, or maybe it was an iPod, commercial, like, 2 years ago. Man, they were good! What was their name again?"

I am prolific

That's right, mofos - not 1, but 2 posts before 9am EST! Read 'em and weep (really, you may cry)...

Hi, my IQ is 43 - Well, sir, you're qualified to be a sports commentator!

Is it just me, or did anyone else have to watch all the BCS bowl games with their television on mute? Sports commentators are supposed to be impartial observers who relay the game's details and occasionally comment on the facets of the game the typical layman may not pick up. Today's sports commentators are imbeciles.

Exhibit A: Mike Tirico (who is usually outstanding) complaining that a college coach should have challenged a call. Mike, college coaches can't challenge calls. That's the NFL, big guy.

Exhibit B: Keith Jackson and Dan Fouts complaining that a Texas catch and fumble was incorrectly called an incomplete pass. Guys, I know he had 2 feet down but he was standing still. The guy must make some sort of football move if he's stationary in order to exhibit possession. And it's not like he was standing still for 5 seconds, this all happened within a tenth of a second. Yet Jackson and Fouts still went on and on about how it was a fumble, even after the replays (and officials) clearly proved otherwise.

Exhibit C: After Texas defended a USC pass, Jackson and Fouts complained it should have been an interception. The defender caught the ball in mid-air but lost control when he hit the ground. Yes, the ground cannot cause a fumble, but a receiver must maintain possession upon impact for a catch to be legit.

Now, I can understand if the announcers get the initial call incorrect, because they're watching the game live. But they see the same replays we do and they're supposed to be experts. So when they refuse to admit they were incorrect, it's one of two things: 1) megalomania or 2) gross incompetance. I lean towards the latter.

It's not so much that these guys are egotistical airheads who enjoy nothing more than hearing their own voices, it's that they don't even know the rules of the sport they're announcing! You'd think there would be some sort of football literacy test that one must pass in order to demostrate a rudimentary knowledge of the game. This is basic stuff.

And I haven't even touched on the the fact that every announcer is ridiculously biased. Musberger praising OSU for racking up so many yards through 3 quarters. Here's the thing, Brent - it's a 7 point game, still a long way to go. Jackson and Fouts fawning over USC (or any other Pac 10 team for that matter). By the way, didn't Keith Jackson retire, like, 8 years ago?! Can't someone hand that guy his AARP card, give him a thank you card, and throw his ass out of the booth? He used to be fun, what with his 'Whoa, Nelly' and all that, but now the guy talks so much ABC will cut to a commercial while he's mid-sentence. They guy won't shut-up and it's all complete gibberish to boot. He doesn't even know the names of the players.

The worst part is that these guys aren't doing their job of delivering the play-by-play and talking about the game. Here's what I want to know:

1) What just happened and/or is happening now?
2) Some insight, culling from your years of experience, into why you think that happened and/or what your think they may do next.

A good announcing team should be able to be followed by a blind person. If a blind person tried to follow any of the announcers during the BCS games, not only would he not have a clue about a) the teams involved, b) the current score, or c) the game's status (quarter, time, etc) but he would probably think it was a cricket test.

Time to go back to the basics. Time to stop hiring the latest former NFL star who's been hit one too many times and has a hard enough time tying his shoes, not to mention providing color commentary to a game. Yeah, we know you used to play. Yeah, we know you guys did things differently back in your day. Whatever, any insight into why that jackass just went for a two-point conversion to go up by 5, Brainiac? Time to sunset crotchety old announcers who are well past their prime. Give those guys the Blue Bonnett bowl, not the BCS title game. Time to start hiring competant, well-spoken people who can comment on and add insight to the games. Until then, I'll continue with my practice of muting the tv and listening to the radio.

USC: Try the humble pudding

Their reign now over, USC can't seem to be able to admit that they're not the best team in college football anymore. Matt Leinart's quote after the game,

"I still think we're the better team... but whatever"

Matt, here's the thing - when you throw up 38 points, including 28 in the second half, and you still lose, you may not be the better team. USC got breaks, but also made some bone-headed, ego-driven plays (see Reggie Bush's attempted lateral after a 40 yard run). They didn't lose that game, they were beaten.

My favorite part of the loss - it was almost entirely the fault of head coach Pete Carroll. Leading 38-33 with just over two minutes left at Texas' 45 yard line Carroll decided to go for it on 4th and 2. I can see how a team with 34 consecutive wins has confidence that 1 of their 2 All-American running backs can pick up 2 measly yards, but in this situation you absolutely have to punt the ball and make Vince Young drive the entire field. USC got stuffed, Texas only had to go 56 yards and scored the winning touchdown with less than 20 seconds remaining. You have to figure in that situation the worst case scenario is a punt that goes for a touchback giving Texas the ball at their own 20. At best, USC can pin Texas inside their own 10 or 5. That's a no-brainer with a national championship on the line. But Carroll gambled, and lost... and lost. And to compound the coaching gaff, during Texas' two-point conversion attempt after what turned out to be the game-winning touchdown, USC, coached by the supposed defensive guru Carroll, had to burn their final timeout. Sorry, but those plays both come down to coaching. And one can, and I will, make the argument that Pete Carroll cost his team an unprecedented third straight national championship.

So Hail Texas! for the day. Now we'll see just how good (or bad) of a coach Pete Carroll really is without Leinart and Bush running his show...

Heffernan Family Events – Vol. 4

The Heffernan Family is defined by its history together and apart. Well-known to us, but maybe not to everyone are the family members and all those other people, places, and events that serve to make up our own unique family identity. This post if an effort to detail the people and events that make us the Royal Heffernans.

Ian the Clown

Some little kids can’t get enough peanut butter. They’ll sit behind a chair with a spoon and eat it out of the jar until they get sick. Some little kids can’t help but pick their noses- and then eat it. Ian was the little kid who couldn’t stop licking his lips.

You may think I’m talk about chapped lips being lipped to keep from drying and cracking, but that’s not true. Ian would protrude his tongue ala Gene Simmons and lick a ring around his mouth to the limit of his tongue. Think of Scooby-Doo licking the frosting off his face and you’ve got Ian right there. But even Scooby had the sense only to lick his face when frosting was on it; Ian licked his face constantly. And for his efforts he received a chapped, red ring around his mouth that was lovingly dubbed his “clown face.”

The funny thing about the clown face is not only that Ian did it (because Ian has been and always will be the paragon of self-control and moderation), but that he enjoyed doing it. We have photographic proof of Ian smiling with the “clown face” and also of Ian smiling while create the clown face.

I was young, I don’t remember the “clown face” and well as I remember Ted’s “The Face” (who could forget the terror that would wash over them when “The Face” was made), but I have seen the pictures of it. The great Heffernan forebears – Mom and Dad – are the first known to have referred to Ian’s chapped face as a “clown face.” This is most likely due to the fact that Ian loved Bozo the Clown and watched WGN constantly (his belief that it is easy to throw the ball in the buckets for the “Grand, Prize, Game!” is false: it's actually very hard, go try! And you know inflation is bad when they drop $200 in the bucket nowadays).

I guess Ian did it right; if you have to look like an idiot, at least he looked like an idiot that everyone loved. Bozo was a clown, and while I’m deathly afraid of all clowns and would rather eat my own hand than go to a clown show, Ian’s “clown face,” with his chapped lips, dumb smile, and constant snake-like licking, made me learn to tolerate Bozo quite well. While I still fear clowns, because Ian was incapable of stopping his powerful habit of licking himself I can now tolerate Bozo.

Heffernan Family Events – Vol. 3

The Heffernan Family is defined by its history together and apart. Well-known to us, but maybe not to everyone are the family members and all those other people, places, and events that serve to make up our own unique family identity. This post if an effort to detail the people and events that make us the Royal Heffernans.

Ted's teaching methods

He was the eldest son of the eldest son of the eldest son. He was Thomas Edward Heffernan IV, known to friends and family as “Ted.” A select few, however, knew him a little differently. Yes, he was still “Ted” to us, but he was also the Harbringer of Hopelessness, the Pendragon of Pain, and the Sultan of Suffering. You see, to his siblings, Ted was the oldest brother, and as eldest brother he had to guide and teach his siblings in the ways of life. While some brothers liked to compliment and challenge their siblings, Ted followed in the footsteps of such great real and fictional leaders as Josef Stalin and Sauron: Ted motivated us to better ourselves through pain and fear.
Ted had lots of cool stuff growing up. Most of the time, he had to share it with Ian, as they shared a room and a paper-route and bought lots of stuff together. However, Colin and I would often like to play with their stuff too, because, well, they had cool stuff! What 8-year-old doesn’t want to play with his older brother’s Nintendo? Unfortunately, Ted’s stuff was off limits to Colin and I, and if he found us messing with any of it, Ted would have to “teach” us about personal property.
Ted liked to do things his way. Go about daily life in the Heffernan family, you would know if something wasn’t being performed in the proper “Ted-way” by one of three not-so-subtle signs:

1. Ted would at least try to reason with you before he beat the holy hell out of you. By means of taunting, ridiculing, and verbal threats Ted cowered you into performing in accordance with the “Ted-way.”
2. Ted would give you “The Face.” This consisted of Ted projecting his lower jaw out for a serious under-bite and baring only his bottom teeth (never the top teeth, and that would have been poor dental hygiene). When “The Face” appeared, you had approximately 3 seconds before receiving a beat-down not since the days of Ralphie and the bully in A Christmas Story. More often than not the recipient of “The Face” would drop to the ground in the fetal position screaming out alternating phrases of “I’m sorry!” and “Not in the face!”
3. Occasionally a situation would arise in which a swift, uncompromising message would have to be delivered. Usually this meant that Ted had truly been bested in some fashion and the person who had bested Ted needed to learn to never do that again. In these no-so-rare occurrences, Ted would bypass taunting and “The Face” and go straight to the “Tedslam.” A Tedslam is when Ted would rush up on his victim student, pick them up in whatever means possible, and fall to the floor with the other person breaking Ted’s fall. It was an exceedingly painful lesson, for Ted’s student as well. Normally, when a Tedslam came into play, mom would step in and (usually) stop the violence. But every now and then she’d let Ted get away with it. Some lessons had to be taught, and Ted was a very good teacher.

And I guess it wouldn’t be fair to say that Ted only “taught” to his siblings. Ted beat up lots of people - family, friends, and village idiots. He beat up Daniel Hoover on the way home from St. Matt’s one day (I was so happy he wasn’t beating up me!) and he also threw Chad Slavinskus in a pool once. And I’m sure there were lots of other lessons he doled out over the years, but I am fairly certain this author had more classes with Ted than any other student. But at least he didn’t break my arm (thanks Ian).

Fiesta Bowl Gameday!!!

So of course it's time for the big game! I am getting really pumped - except for the fact that I have a real job and have to work today! So some quick math: 5pm EST kickoff means 4pm here in New Orleans. That sucks for me. So how am I going to watch? TiVo of course!!! By the way, I did eat my Lucky Charms this morning!

Go Irish!!!!!