Ohio State is a Joke

As we all know, the Fiesta Bowl is fast approaching. Our esteemed opponent is none other than THE Ohio State University. What the hell is it with that whole THE thing anyway? It really annoys me, since Ohio University was actually founded first, in 1804. THE Ohio State University didn't come along until 1870. Come to think of it, a lot of things annoy me about THE Ohio State University. Here is my own Top Ten List of Reasons Why Ohio State is a Joke. I know Rench has been waiting for this post!

10. The Horseshoe is NOT a horseshoe
In case you didn't notice, tOSU put permenant seats in the south end zone. You don't see me calling Monster Park by its old names San Francisco Stadium at Candlestick Point, 3Com Park or Candlestick Park.

9. What's the deal with the damn nuts
I don't get it. Are they supposed to make you happy? Maybe they have some magical power to ward off evil spirits. Perhaps a token to ensure fertility. Obviously, if used improperly, things can go horribly wrong.

8. Unfrozen caveman linebacker
Look at that face! How can Brady Quinn's sister be going out with him? As in a related post below, I'm still wondering why he had $3000 cash just sitting in his apartment. Start the Sloth chant now: Baby Ruth, Baby Ruth, Baby Ruth!!!

7. Sweatervest is a lying cheat
This guy is the most two-faced lying figure in college football since... Well, Bobby Bowden is still around. Anyway, at least Bowden isn't a cheat! tOSU has been dodging scandal ever since Tressel arrived. Don't forget he left Youngstown State with a scandal as well.

6. Obnoxious Ohio State fans
These guys are just stupid. Ever get into an argument with someone really dumb? You know the feeling. You just can't win it, so don't even try.

5. The obsession with Michigan
The Michigan game is the Super Bowl for tOSU. Cooper wins 10 games a year but can't beat UM consistently, so he's out. The obsession really goes beyond rational thought. The funny thing is Michigan really doesn't care about it as much!

4. Maurice Clarett is a scumbag
This guy almost single handedly destroyed college football with his lawsuit against the NFL. That was right after he almost single handedly destroyed tOSU's football program proclaiming boosters gave him cash. That was right after his $50000 SUV got robbed of $20000 worth of goods. Good work with the Broncos this year!

3. Brutus the Buckeye wrote his own book
This mascot is just downright scary. Now that he has written a book, my only hope is that he never, ever utters a spoken word.

2. Woody Hayes likes to fight
Dec. 29, 1978. tOSU is up against Clemson in the Gator Bowl. Clemson picks off an OSU pass and Woody Hayes punches the player! He also punched his own player for trying to stop him. He is fired the next day. That's the greatest coach in Ohio State history.

1. The best damn copycats in the land
tOSU has a little tradition that the band performs at every game. They spell out Ohio in fancy script letters - creatively known as Script Ohio. So, I really love the origins of this tradition. The first Script Ohio (actual photo) was performed at Ohio Stadium in 1932 - by the Michigan marching band!!! AWESOME! The greatest tOSU tradition was started by it's biggest rival.