The following is an actual conversation between Father John I. Jenkins, president of the University of Notre Dame, and myself, Class of 1997.Jenkie: Well, it's that time of year for the Notre Dame family.
Ted: Holidays?
Jenkie: Of course, but that's not what I mean. I'm talking ND football.
Ted: Oh right! We're going to the Fiesta Bowl! Weis has us back in form for a BCS spot in only his first year. We are AWESOME!
Jenkie: Yes Ted, we rock - even more so than the one Peter built his Church on. But that's not the point.
Ted: So who is it going to be Padre? Are we going to get Penn State, Ohio State or Oregon? What word do you have from the big man upstairs?
Jenkie: Well, Father Hesburgh is recovering from a bad fall, so he isn't really thinking about football right now. Besides, all pious Notre Dame faculty are thinking of more important things.
Ted: I mean God! Any ideas about who we'll face?
Jenkie: Of course, God says that it doesn't matter. We should just be proud of playing our best football and look forward to any worthy rival in Tempe. But...
Ted: I knew it! What else are you getting?
Jenkie: Getting back to the point of my first statement...
Ted: Yeah, it's that time of year, I know. What is it!?
Jenkie: Well, only the most important thing. It's time to make your annual contribution to the Notre Dame Alumni Association!Ted: I should know better than to talk to a CSC priest.
Jenkie: Our football team is really good! I gave you your new coach - despite a public outcry!
Ted: But I have to pay $100 now since I graduated in 1997!
Jenkie: But think about the ticket lottery. You would be able to buy tickets for next years home games!
Ted: But I might not be able to make any. Besides, most people never get what they want anyway!
Jenkie: Think about the chance to go to the National Championship game next year. God says we're a lock! So does Hesburgh.
Ted: I would be there! Where is it?
Jenkie: The Fiesta Bowl - again.
Ted: Tempe, again! Can't we ever play anywhere else?
Jenkie: We have a pretty good track record there! Just go ahead. Click the link and donate. It's your obligation! Remember, donations must be received by December 31, 2005 to be eligible for next year.
Ted: Okay padre, you got me.
Jenkie: Can I interest you in a Sorin Society membership? It's only $1000.
Ted: Uh, no.
5 comments:
Due to loan deferral for grad school, I'll be "contributing" to ND for the next 25 years. But hey, at least I'll always have some sort of a connection to ND, right?
No joke - I was going to write an entry today about lazy sportwriters who have taken up the habit of writing mock interviews. Guess that's out the window now...
Soooo, does that make me a lazy blogger?
Nah, you don't make a living writing so you're off the hook. Jim Caple at ESPN.com, however, is officially at the top of my "to punch" list...
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