The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Monday, November 28, 2005

Thanksgiving Hit List, Revisted


So, sadly, Thanksgiving has come and gone for another year. And as I shed a single, gravy-laden tear at the passing of my favorite holiday I reflect upon the damage done to my stomach. I'm not going to lie - over the last 5 days I ate more food than any healthy and rational human being should and probably could for that matter. I know I talked a pretty big game before the holiday, but I think I was able to back it up. Here's how it went down:

Skyline - 4 cheese coneys, with. Plus 3 bowls of oyster crackers and half of my wife's 3-way.

White Castle - Unfortunately, I just did not have the intestinal fortitude to stomach sliders, although I did lobby for them on several occasions. In it's stead, I had a reuben and 2 potato pancakes at Izzy's, quite possibly the best corned beef in the world.

Turkey - Not one, not two, but THREE(3) turkeys were cooked and eaten this year. A Heffernan family record! For those keeping score at home, they were 23lbs, 21lbs, and 13lbs. That's almost 60lbs of turkey! Gobble, gobble, indeed. Kudos go to Rival® for their excellent countertop turkey roaster, without which none of this gluttony would have been possible.

Fixings - Mashed potatos, sweet potatos, stuffing, green bean casserole, succotash. Not only did I help make them all, I ate them all.

Apple Pie - ...and custard, and pumpkin, and cherry, and blueberry, and pecan. If I could give multiple, fruit-encrusted checks, I would.

Alcohol - It gets a check, but not as big a check as I would've expected. I think we were all so full of turkey there was practically no room for booze. Sad, but true.

All in all, a wonderful holiday. Got to see the newest Heffernan addition, little Ava. Got to chill with the entire family by the fireside. Got to excel in the turkey bowl for another year. And got to indulge in my favorite foods. Now begins the long, painful week of withdrawl and purging. I feel like a recovering heroin addict breaking out into occasional gravy-sweats and turkey-induced shaking fits. But so is life for a Thanksgiving dynamo such as myself. Until next year - Vini, Vidi, Voro...

3 comments:

Teresa said...

We have plenty of succotash, green beans, turkey, pie, cranberry sauce, ribs, turkey soup, etc leftovers in our fridge - just say the word and I'll ship the leftovers to you. We will eat them for every dinner this week and still not be able to finish them. I'm not complaining, just volunteering to share :-)

Kevin said...

Don't listen to teresa. There won't be any leftovers of which to speak.

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