Uncle Choo-Choo

Ava may have only met me twice, but with luck and repetition hopefully I can live forever as Uncle Choo-Choo (Ted and Ali - make sure Ava watches this a minimum of 14 times a day):

Take Him, Please!

I read a rumor today that Boston College was seriously considering hiring Bob Davie as head football coach to replace Tom O'Brien who recently left to accept the same position at NC State. Personally, I can't think of a better candidate, for two(2) reasons:

1. It would spare us the agony of his "color" commentary on ABC ("That's some big-time foot-baw there, Brent").
2. It would pretty much guarantee that Notre Dame would not lose to Boston College for the foreseeable future.

It's really a win-win as far as I'm concerned - unless you're a Boston College fan...

ND Wins the Close One

Notre Dame Students storm the court after a big win against #5 Alabama

Last year Notre Dame men's basketball lost 12 games by six points or less, and lost 5 times by shots in the last 2 seconds. They finished up last year with a 16-14 mark, nearly costing Mike Brey his job in the process.

Notre Dame pulled off two very large upsets this week. The first was against #19 Maryland, a perennial power in the ACC who frequents the Big Dance. The second was last night, against #5 Alabama, a team of very large and talented inside players. The Notre Dame squad's tallest player is Luke Zeller, is listed at 6'11", but I doubt he actually is that tall. In all, ND's reputation is an outside-shooting team - they live and die by the 3-pointer. But I watched last night's game, and while it's true, this team is different from the 1-and-done 3-point shooting teams of the past.

Russell Carter had a career night last night again 'Bama, making shots from every point on the floor. He was laughing after some of his makes. Alabama couldn't stop him. Kyle McAlarney and Carter were also driving to the basket and then either dishing it to a big guy, or kicking it out to Colin Falls for an open look at the basket. ND played nearly flawlessly for twenty minutes to end the first half and begin the second. At the end of the game they wavered, but a big shot by Carter sealed the deal for the Irish.

I loved watching ND last night. Teresa and I stayed up and held our breath at the end, and while ND came close to collapse, the pulled together and won a big victory. I'm not saying ND is #1, not by a long shot. But it's nice to see us play as well as we did against a Crimson Tide team with a reputation for 1) tough defense - no other team this year has scored over 70 points on 'Bama, and 2) strong inside play from 3 very good big men. Those big teams were our bane last season, so it nice to see ND get a resume building win. If we can win 10 games or so in the Ultra-Big East, the wins over 'Bama and Maryland should be enough to get us in the tourny.

Looks Like We Got Our Man?

Remember soccer? It's that sport that we were all obsessed with, oh, six months ago before the USA crashed out of the World Cup and college football began. Well, after the dismal showing in Germany, US Soccer fired head coach Bruce Arena and all has been quiet on the western front since. Until now. According to this article at Fox Sports, US Soccer will name Jurgen Klinsmann the next head coach of the US Men's National Soccer Team within two weeks. Ever since the World Cup ended, Arena was fired, and Klinsmann (who lives in the US and is married to an American) stepped down as head coach of the German team, most US soccer fans have been hoping for Klinsmann's appointment. Looks like we got our wish. Now we'll find out if Germany taking 3rd in WC '06 was a fluke or if Klinsmann is the real deal. That January friendly with Denmark just got a lot more interesting...

UPDATE: Looks like the penny-pinchers in the USSF have reneged on the deal with Klinsmann and will name Bob Bradley as an interim coach, with the possibility of making his appointment permanent. Good grief, you've got to spend some money to make some money...

Final Words on College Football

This is all I'm saying after the BCS bowl match-ups were announced last night - it's very difficult to get it right. Is Florida better than Michigan? Is Florida more deserving than Michigan? Who knows. What I do know is this - if Michigan had gotten the nod and then beat Ohio State then who's the national champion? How can you declare Michigan the national champion when Ohio State beat them 1 month ago?

Several other thoughts...

• ESPN.com is running a poll about the BCS match-ups. With about 100,000 votes tallied 54.7% think Notre Dame is the worst team in a BCS game. Really? Worse than a Boise State team who's toughest game was San Jose State? Worse than a Wake Forest team that snuck away with an ACC title because Miami and Florida State both had awful seasons. Worse than an Oklahoma team that won the worst Big 12 in history? Worse than a Louisville team that lost to Rutgers? Rutgers! Additionally, 64.9% think that LSU is going to blow Notre Dame out. Say what you will about Notre Dame, but remember they lost to #2 Michigan and #2 USC, not exactly chumps. This will be a great game.
  
• I am hearby declaring the Fiesta Bowl (Oklahome v. Boise State) this year's BCS snoozefest. No, wait, I mean the Orange Bowl (Louisville v. Wake Forest)! Oh, screw it, both games will be terrible and have a combined viewing audience of 16.
• The Rose Bowl (USC v. Michigan) has the potential to draw better ratings than the national championship game - especially since the AP will be chomping to give Michigan a split of the title should Florida upset Ohio State.

Christmas in (Early) December...

UCLA 13 - USC 9

I don't care about rankings and all this "we need to root for so-and-so to win so we look better" nonsense. If Notre Dame wins and USC, Michigan, Boston College, and the Sunshine State Triumvirate lose, then I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth - much like Lou Gehrig, less the amyotrophic lateral sclerosis...

The Folks Are All Right

Mom and I know you are all concerned about our financial well-being after we can no longer earn a living. What with Social Security in the tank, globalization eroding our standard of living, and the imminent collapse of social services across the nation (when was the last time you voted for a tax levy?) it's no surprise adult children fret about their parents' future. Until very recently, Mom and I had been counting on a nice little in-law suite above Ted's 4-car garage - in exchange, of course, for various domestic services rendered. However, we have hit upon a plan that will get us ever so closer to lifelong solvency.

This 21st century digital technology creates a lot of possibilities. Have you seen those Orville Redenbacher popcorn commercials - featuring Orville himself making a posthumous appearance? Marlon Brando continues to contribute, vocally at least, to the latest Superman movies, and the Empire Carpet guy will probably work forever in computer animation. So, we decided to apply our PC's time machine capabilities to the wonderful world of advertising, not so much for fun as for profit. A little edit here, some cropping there, and viola!

I'm not sure who the young lady is, but everyone should recognize that jovial mop-top in front. It's a little difficult to see, but I do believe he is wearing his famous cowboy boots, too.

Considering that we have 30+ years worth of photos, and visions of royalty checks start to dance in my head. We probably wouldn't even have to use any of the really embarrassing material. Unless, of course, it was for a truly unique opportunity like Apple iPods or Fanny Mae Candy. Anyway, kids, I think we're going to be fine. Just fine.

Top 5 'Staches

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, the Royal Heffernans ventured where no man should venture without much support. So together, the younger Heffernan's bonded together and grew mustaches. A bold plan was hatched and described in the previous post. As the weeks rolled past and the beards and goatees were trimmed down to mustaches, it was decided that there are only a few men who can truly pull off the 'stache. To honor those with great mustaches, I have compiled my very own Top 5 mustache wearers:

5. Super Mario
I can remember playing Super Mario Brothers with the mustachioed plumber himself. Mario was and still is a gaming icon, his 'stache selling games worldwide across no fewer than 5 gaming consoles from Nintendo (original, Super NES, N64, Wii, and Gameboy). Without the 'stache, there is little doubt that the Mario franchise would not have seen the sales and cult-like following it enjoys today. If mothers are looking to blame anything for their kids' addiction to video games, they need look no further than Mario and his 'stache.

4. George Eads (aka Nick Stokes)
When George Eads appeared on CSI with his mustache, it was the epitome of porn-star salutes. Eads, who plays CSI Nick Stokes, was heckled both on the show during filming by fellow CSI's, and off the show by co-stars and the media, for his adult-entertainment personification. All you need to do is look at his picture, dressed up in his CSI suit, and you can easily imagine George Eads/Nick Stokes as a porn star.

3. Rollie Fingers
Everyone wants the rolled 'stache, and Rollie Fingers is forever identified with it. Twirled up on the ends, every man wants it, but so very few can actually pull it off. Ted spoke of shaping his 'stache, but alas, none of us could pull off the shaped and looping mustache.

2. Tom Selleck
Tom Selleck did for the mustache what J-Lo did for butts - grew it big and made it look sexy. As Magnum, P.I., Selleck showed the 'stache for eight seasons, and made women order men with a hairy upper lip. Magnum got the girls while sporting the hairy chest and the bushy mustache, and simultaneously made every man emulate him through the 1980's. Unfortunately, the mustache-growing-mania meant a 'stache-backlash by anyone not old enough to grow a 'stache by 1986. Thus Magnum was both champion and goat of the mustache during the late 20th Century.

1. Thomas Heffernan III
Dad is Dad, but wouldn't be Dad without his mustache. Since growing his first mustache at age 8 (Heffernans blossom early), Dad has maintained his mustache throughout the next 48 years of life, with only a brief clean-shaven hiatus during his wedding to Mom back in 1972, for which mom was forever scarred. Dad has shown many what it means to sport the 'stache, and while many have tried to equal the quality of upper-lipmanship that Dad has achieved (myself included) it is concluded that there is only one Dad, and his mustache is King.

Respect The Mustache

Several months ago, the Heffernan boys got word from Mom that Dad had been considering the unthinkable - shaving his mustache. This rocked us to our core. We had no idea what spurred Dad to ponder this crazy idea. All we knew is that Dad had always had a mustache as long as any of his had been alive. The only time we had ever even seen Dad without his trademark 'stache was in pictures for his own wedding. So we decided to act in the only way we knew how - we grew our own mustaches!

The plan was hatched during the week of Colin's wedding, and formalized through a series of emails between brothers in the months leading up to Thanksgiving. The first critical step was wife approval. All wives reluctantly agreed on one condition - no mustache until Thanksgiving. Thus, each brother grew either a beard or goatee, slowly grooming it before the big day. Then, before arriving in Cincinnati for our family holiday, the mustache would be revealed! What follows is a brief description of each brothers' road to mustache glory...

Ted
The eldest Heffernan brother had sported a goatee several times in the past. Usually, this was a result of laziness with regards to shaving. It was often reserved for wilderness trips including the Boundary Waters and a prior Western road trip. This past experience served him well as he decided to sculpt a goatee into the mustache. Ted began his goatee on September 25, after his last 1st call as a radiology resident EVER! Over the next 7 weeks, the goatee grew in very nicely. He passed the dreaded "itchy" phase after a month and it was smooth sailing after that. His mustache was finally sculpted Monday night on November 20, to allow his coworkers the opportunity to see the fruit of his labor. The 'stache most closely resembled a young Uncle Dan, with the corners curling below the corners of his lips.

Ian
Ian was the most reluctant of the Heffernan brothers in the mustache endeavor. Repeated emails questioning if we were still going through with this were answered with a resounding yes. Ian elected to go with a full beard in preparing his fledgling 'stache. He hated every minute of it as it became more and more itchy. When he finally trimmed the beard, the 'stache that remained was sure to get him a full search by airport security. The 'stache most closely resembled a young Magnum PI although not quite as bushy.

Colin
Colin was surely the most enthusiastic participant in growing a 'satche. According to his wife, he stroked his growing facial hair constantly, and discussion of possible 'stache styles dominated their evening conversations. Colin was also remiss to shave his mustache, unsuccessfully lobbying his brothers to keep them through Thanksgiving. The 'stache most closely resembled a young Uncle Terry, thin and long, extending well beyond the corners of his lips.

Kevin
Kevin also went with the full beard route. However, Kevin possesses a distinct advantage over his brothers - he has red facial hair! Thus, Kevin crafted a redbeard that would be the envy of any Notre Dame leprechaun. It was also the envy of his boss. Kevin proudly displayed his facial hair at work - even getting an ID photo taken with a full beard. His boss demanded that Kevin reveal the 'stache at work before leaving for Thanksgiving. Kevin complied and made that boss feel like a lesser man. This was truly an original 'stache. Thinner than the other Heffernan boys, it had the distinct advantage of being red.

So after finally arriving Wednesday night, the above photo was taken and the brothers went to sleep one last time with their 'staches. The next morning, Ian cracked and decided to shave. The rest of the brothers followed suit, Colin reluctantly, and the 'staches were no more. However, Dad never did get rid of his mustache. I think he got the message, thanks to a little help from the friends on our upper lips.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

God is Irish

#3 Louisville? Loss.
#4 Texas? Loss.
#5 Auburn? Loss.
#6 Florida? Win*...
#8 California? Loss.

The way I see it, Notre Dame wins out and they have one helluva good shot at the BCS title game.

Oh, and just as icing on the cake - Florida State is shutout at home 30-0 by Wake Forest, it's first home shutout in 33 years. And Miami loses to Maryland. Both teams are now 5-5. I wonder why we aren't hearing any stories about why those two schools can't compete at such a high football level with their stringent academic requirements. Oh yeah - because their players don't go to class... Is there any doubt God is a Notre Dame fan?


* = Florida didn't win as much as South Carolina lost. A blocked extra point, a 55-yard field goal negated because of a home field call, a blocked field goal, and another blocked field goal that would've won the game as time expired. Not a very convincing win at home against a South Carolina team that everyone seems to think is so good even though they're 5-5...