Buying Indulgences? There's An App For That!

Am I actually playing Sudoku right now? CHECK!

In a move that's sure to have Martin Luther laughing in his grave, the Roman Catholic Church has approved an iOS app to augment traditional confession.

Confession: A Roman Catholic App is "Designed to be used in the confessional" and is "...the perfect aid for every penitent." By "perfect aid" they mean it's a brilliant excuse for Catholic school kids to play Worms 2: Armageddon in a confessional.

The app is not meant to take the place of face-to-face confession with an ordained priest because confessions by electronic media are invalid, as declared by the Congregation on Divine Worship and the Sacraments - DUH!

I can only assume the next app approved by the Church will document all Mass responses plus when to stand, sit, and kneel for all us Easter/Christmas Catholics. On second thought, excuse me while I go start making that right now. I'll use my millions to buy us spots in heaven...