I'm a Blogging Guru

SI.com is currently featuring an article on Jimbo Fisher (lackey-in-waiting at Florida St.) that describes him as

"... own[ing] a reputation as one of the nation's finest QB gurus."

Ummm...

Just because a guy holds a position as a quarterbacks coach doesn't necessarily mean he's a "guru". Here's the list of QBs Fisher has coached since arriving at LSU in 2000:

• 2000: Josh Booty
• 2001 - 2006: Matt Mauck/Rohan Davey/Rick Clausen/Matt Flynn/JaMarcus Russell/Ryan Perriloux
  
• 2007/8: Drew Weatherford

I'd say SI is taking liberties with the whole "guru" title. I mean, that's not exactly a murderer's row of QBs up there. I basically lumped all the LSU QBs together because none was consistent enough to win the job and they were all rotated - something that would point to Fisher most definitely not being a guru. He's basically earned a title based on the 1.5 freak seasons of JaMarcus Russell.

Based on these qualifications, I've tried to guess how SI.com sportswriters might describe Heffernan family members...

• Dad - mustache guru
• Mom - shopping bargain guru
• Ted - magnetic resonance imaging guru, aka "doctor"
  
• Ali - pediatric wellness guru
• Ava/Molly - gurus-in-training
  
• Ian - guru-identification guru
• Steph - e-commerce guru
• Zoe - unusual sleeping position guru
  
• Bryan - working from home guru
• Bridget - intellectual property guru, aka "lawyer"
• Colin - financial law guru, aka "accountant"
• Liz - educational guru, aka "teacher"
• Kevin - unable to give financial advice guru
• Teresa - ability to put up with Kevin for extended durations guru

If you're not sick of the word "guru" at this point and it doesn't sound like some odd, foreign word, something's wrong with you. I think we can all agree that the usage of this word in the sports world is raging out of control. Can't we all just agree to call a horse a horse and ditch the whole "guru" thing?