In Kevin's eloquent and touching best man's speech this past weekend at Colin's wedding he briefly touched on Colin's phobia of the singing, animatronic gorilla ringleader, named 'Fatz Geronimo', of the Showbiz Pizza Place band - The Rock-afire Explosion (and looking at that photo above, I can begin to understand why). Well, in an effort at brevity Kevin left out the majority of Colin's phobias which are now chronicled here, for your enjoyment.
- Ladybugs - No one is quite sure why, but these cute, tiny insects absolutely terrified Colin. Actually, if you were just to sing the song, 'Ladybuy Picnic' in Colin's vicinity he would break into tears.
- The Incredible Hulk (TV version) - It didn't take much, as soon as Bill Bixby, aka Bruce Banner, lost control of that tire iron and looked into the camera with those green eyes in the introductory sequence Colin was screaming. One can only guess if Colin ever saw the theatrical version released several years ago, but my guy says, 'No'.
- Thriller - Before Michael Jackson became a psychotic pedophile he was the coolest musician in the world, posing on the cover of the best-selling album of all-time in a white suit (sans shirt) with a white tiger cub. But Colin would never know this because as soon as that video started he vanished faster than Jacko's sanity in the mid-90's.
- Heights - Funny that Colin worked briefly as a roofer in college when he is severely acrophobic. The quintessential Colin roofing story begins with Colin beginning to slowly slide off the roof at one of his worksites. Colin became, quite literally, paralyzed with fear and was unable to even take the meager steps necessary to prevent himself from plummeting over the edge. It was not until a co-worker spotted Colin and reacted quickly by pulling him to safety that he was able to snap out of his trance. Colin spent the rest of that summer picking up discarded shingles from the ground.
- Girls - This, obviously, couldn't be mentioned at the wedding, but now that it's official and Liz can't get away (at least not without much legal hullaballoo) we should note that the coolest cat in town is also terrified of talking to girls. I once stumbled upon Colin writing out notes on 3x5 cards in high school. I assumed he was studying for a test and asked him what he was up to. He, rather sheepishly, responded that he was jotting down talking points as he was about call a girl and needed things about which to converse. That girl must've been puddy in his hands...
1 comment:
Very funny and very true. I once witnessed the phone-call-with-notes between Colin and some girl. It definitely worked for him!
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