Lose the Pleats, Charlie!

The thing that annoys me most of late when it comes to Notre Dame mockery is the "Charlie Weis is fat!" approach. Read any article about Notre Dame, then scroll down to the comments. Within about five post there will undoubtedly be a comment about Weis (usually mispelled 'Weiss') eating cheeseburgers or a poorly photo-shopped image of Jabba the Hutt.

Make no mistake, Charlie Weis is a lot of things, but svelte is not one of them. And no doubt, I often used these very putdowns when I was in 1st and 2nd grade. But look around the college coaching landscape any given Saturday and you'll see Charlie is not alone. The coaching profession isn't exactly a picture of public health (actually, and sadly, it probably is - but that's another post altogether). I think the big problem is Charlie's wardrobe. Here's a photo of Charlie in typical practice attire, which usually consists of an ND-branded windbreaker or pullover...

Weis: Looking Normal

Now compare that to his usual gameday attire...

Oh my God! Why?

You see the difference? Charlie Weis has an... unfortunate... waist, and those damned pleated pants with the tucked in polo only exacerbate his shapely hourglass figure (not the good kind). I think we need to start some sort of petition to get Charlie to carry the pullover look over to Saturdays. The image and reputation of Our Lady are at stake here! I'm only partially kidding when I ask, does anyone have a contact in the ND football office to whom I can make this plea/recommendation? Any ammunition we can take away from non-fans of Notre Dame is welcome in my books, and this seems like a pretty simple remedy. For God's sake, Charlie - lose the pleated pants!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

Notre Dame blanks Nevada 35-0, posting their first shutout victory since 2002. Clausen and Floyd looked great. The offensive line was strong, giving Clausen plenty of time and opening gaping holes for the ground game. The Irish racked up 510 total yards, 178 on the ground, and had no turnovers. Not a bad start...

The Bad

Notre Dame's opponents for the season?

• Michigan 31 - 7 W. Michigan
• Michigan St. 44 - 3 Montana St.
• Purdue 52 - 31 Toledo
• Southern Cal 56 - 3 San Jose St.
• Boston College 54 - 0 Northeastern
• Stanford 39 - 13 Washington St.
• Navy 27 - 31 Ohio State
• Pitt 38 - 3 Youngstown St.

So much for that super easy schedule...

The Ugly

United States 2 - 1 El Salvador.

Sometimes I cynically joke while watching a poorly played soccer game that I could play for the team. In reality, I'd get run off the field and lose the ball every time it came my way. Well, tonight I say with 100% confidence that if I was playing for the USA I would not be the worst player on the field. Not only that, I would probably put in a better show than 4 or 5 of the Americans that saw the field tonight. Not that I'm that good - I have no such illusions of my ever deteriorating skills - but the USA was that bad. I mean really bad. Atrociously bad. The refs made some bad calls (taking away a clear goal by Jozy Altidore with no explanation chief among them), but make no mistake - the USA was awful. They deserved to lose and should consider themselves fortunate their World Cup dreams are still alive. Bob Bradley's coaching career? Maybe not so much...

It's Almost Here!

In preparation for the wonderful time of the year known as college football season I held my annual screening of Rudy.

Suffice it to say I am now so pumped up I may tackle a stranger on my way to work tomorrow.

Done with the Reds

I am officially done with the Reds for 2009. They did well this year; they kept my interest into July. However, after watching them start their annual slide by giving up a very predictable grand slam to Albert Pujols to turn a winnable game against their division rivals the St. Louis Cardinals into a bitter loss I am throwing in the towel.

Oh, and to make my annual exodus as a fan even better, the Reds decided to go ahead and spot the Phillies with a 21 run lead as we speak. Yes, you read that correctly, 21 runs. 3 touchdowns. No, I am not talking about the Cincinnati Bengals, I am talking about the Reds, the baseball team.

Well, at least ND football won't break my heart this year...

Fingers Crossed

Hopefully I'm not jinxing anything, but the weather forecast for Nags Head, NC is now available on the sidebar...

6 More Days...

...and this will be me.

"Mas cervesas, senior?"

The New Eddie Johnson, And Other USMNT Thoughts...

• Ahhhh! I thought we had it! It was right there! I could touch the Confederations Cup trophy, and then it all slipped away less than 1 minute into the second half. What can you say, Brazil is Brazil and they were better.
• Curious (awful) substitutions by Bradley in the final. Sure, he was hampered by Michael Bradley being suspended, but if Sacha Klesjtan, Conor Casey, and Jonathan Bornstein have told us anything it's that they cannot play at this level. Thank you all for your time with the USMNT.
• I don't buy the hype on Jozy Altidore. Granted, Spain is fanatically racist, but there's likely a reason why Villareal loaned him out and then Xerez never played him. Those reasons can be seen every time he plays - he has a horrible touch, he can't hold up the ball, he wins nothing in the air, and - worst - he looks lazy. Charlie Davies has shown more speed, creativity, and all-around effort. Sure Altidore got the goal against Spain, but rewatch any of those games throughout this tournament. We're better suited with Dempsey playing up top.
• I think the possible addition of Schalke midfielder Jermaine Jones could be a huge piece to the lineup puzzle. We now look set in the backfield with (L to R) Spector, Onyewu, Demerit, and Bocanegra. Donovan simply shocked me. And Dempsey is our best player. Ricardo Clark is shaky at best, awful at worst. Same for Bradley. Feilhaber seems to just disappear for long stretches. If we're missing strength it's in central midfield, and Jones could provide much needed help. The return of Maurice Edu from injury should also be a big boost.
  
• I'd love to see Torres, Kenny Cooper, and Freddy Adu used prominently in the Gold Cup. Why keep these guys on the roster if you're never going to play then?
• Demarcus Beasley is done. Kaput. Finished.
• As much as I like him, I think if the USMNT wants a good showing next summer they need to upgrade from Bob Bradley. Under his guidance the USMNT has been wildly inconsistent and lacking the tactical acumen to play with the best. Let's face it - if not for Tim Howard the US loses to Spain in the semis and give us probably 6 more goals against Brazil. Rumor has it that European-based US players find his training sessions laughable. Enough of this crap about, "understanding the American soccer player." American soccer players need to grow up and earn it. Bradley, for all his brings, simply doesn't have it in his skillset to take them to the next level.
  

The miracle of BLOEMFONTEIN

Jozy Altidore is the future of American soccer

The US got crushed by Italy, and then humiliated by Brazil, the US managed to sneak into the Confederations Cup semi-finals by beating up on a hurt and tired Egyptian team. With one match remaining, the US needed to beat Egypt by 3 or more goals, and have Italy lose by 3 or more goals to Brazil. That was the only situation where a US semi-final appearance would occur. We made it into the semis because of the #4 tiebreaker (points, head-to-head, goal differential, goals scored). You could have made a lot of money in Vegas betting on the US on Saturday.

Granted, I'm excited that we actually qualified, but it was a miracle we did. Depending on how you look at it, we get another chance to prove the world wrong/right for thinking we are no where near being a top soccer power when the US plays the #1 ranked team in the world: Spain.

I think we're going to get demolished even worse than what happened against Brazil and Italy. I think it's going to hurt, and I think both David Villa and Fernando Torres are going to make our defense look silly. But come tomorrow night at 8:30PM, I'm finding a TV so I can watch the US get waxed.

Wii Time!

For our anniversary, Teresa got me a Wii. I think it was partially for her enjoyment as well, as she has obviously enjoyed beating me while bowling. However, with all that being said, I just wanted to say that Heffernan 4-somes for Tiger Woods golf is on!

Rodney Dangerfield models the new Wii Putter

God Bless You, Jonathan Spector

After getting demolished - DEMOLISED! - in Costa Rica just last week, I was hesitant to tune into Saturday night's USA v. Honduras WCQ game. In the former, Marvelle Wynne started at left back. Marvelle Wynne. He's big! He's fast! He's the prototypical US soccer player! Especially in that he is simply big and fast, with no discernible soccer skills (see Onyewu, Oguchi and Ching, Brian). Nevermind the fact that Jonathan Spector flew like 30 hours to join the team in San Jose from England or that Spector starts week in, week out in the EPL. We've got Marvelle Wynne!

It started poorly - Carlos Bocanegra being Carlos Bocanegra, missing a tackle and giving up a goal within 5 minutes. At this point I truly believe that Onyewu and Bocanegra only play because of their offensive threat on set plays (Bocanegra would later score what turned out to be the winning goal, before injuring himself less than a minute later on another poor tackle). I don't know what's more troubling - the fact that our central defense is picked not for their defensive skill, but their offensive contributions or the fact that we can't depend on innate offensive players to score. But after that the US settled in. Landon Donovan actually attacked defenders - something he's rarely done since 2002. Geez, even Ricardo Clark looked good.

And then there was Spector. Perfect positioning. Completely effective tackling. And those overlapping runs and crosses - a thing of beauty down the right. His combos with Dempsey were straight out of the EPL. Every time the US attacked from the right, he was involved in the build-up. Yet every time Honduras countered, he was back in place. Never once did I fear a Honduran attack from their left because I knew there was no way they were getting past Spector. I have never had such confidence in any US player. What's troubling is that Spector is now 23 and has been playing regularly in England for over 5 years, yet this one of his first starts in WCQ. He continually takes a back seat to bums like Wynne or Jonathan Bornstein - MLS regulars who simply rely on athleticism to get by and who cannot cope with the pace and skill of international players. If Spector stays healthy, he should be starting for the US for the next 10 years.

As usual, Jamie Trecker has his scathing review of the US team post Costa Rica here. He's spot on. I think if the US has any hopes of succeeding next summer in South Africa they need to find a replacement for Bob Bradley. Nothing against Bradley personally - he just doesn't have the tactical acumen to take this team to the next level. Furthermore, he doesn't have the guts to bench the US "regulars", which has led to complacence.

Either way, I'm looking forward to the Confederations Cup next week. The US will be playing loaded Italy and Brazil squads in group play. It should be rather illuminating, and by "illuminating" I mean "embarrassing".