Saved!

We don't have a landline in the house (actually, we do, but's it's local calls only and pay-per-call and it's just there for emergencies). We've got our iPhones and AT&T for 99% of the phone calls we make and 100% of the phone calls we receive. Problem is, AT&T coverage sucks in our house. If I had one or two bars I was lucky. It was rare to get through a phone call without at least one drop, and whenever I had to make a call I'd have to wander around looking for the sweet spot to stand. Until now...

This weekend I purchased an AT&T 3G MicroCell for the house. Basically, it's a mini cell tower in our house that piggy-backs on our broadband. Setup took about 5min and we now have 5 bars anywhere in the house and the extended yard. You must provision allowed numbers for usage with it, which is a pro and a con - Pro: leaching neighbors can't steal your shit, Con: Visitors and guests are still screwed. For us, it is a lifesaver.

The downside is it did cost $150, which is bullshit that I should have to pay for AT&T's lack of coverage. But that's a small price to pay for peace of mind, I suppose. Besides Colin called me from our house using "The Network" during last week's baby fire drill and his call got dropped. So maybe our house is in some sort of cell phone black hole and we'd be plagued on any network. At least that's what I'm telling myself to make the expenditure more worthwhile.

Oh, Bornstein. I Hate You...

I love this photo, which ussoccer.com has continued to prominently feature for the past several months. I feel like it captures my feelings for Jonathan Bornstein perfectly via the other members of the US Men's National Team. In it you can clearly see members of the team sharing a moment, laughing and joking... and then there's Bornstein - scowling. I like to think he's the butt of some awesome joke Landon concocted at his expense - probably about how bad he sucks and who he blew to get called into another camp. In the middle of the group physically, but far outside the circle in reality - which is exactly how I hope the World Cup selection process plays out for him.

Bailey, Strasburg - Meet Mike Leake

In honor of the Reds taking the series from the Cards in resounding fashion today, and taking over 1st place in the NL Central, I would like to make a little tribute post to what I feel is THE MOST UNDERRATED STORY IN MLB THIS SEASON!

Mike Leake is f-ing amazing. After 7 starts this season his stat line is:

4-0, 33 K, 20 BB, 3.09 ERA, 1.20 WHIP

After playing last year at Arizona State, he was drafted #8 in the 1st round by the Reds. He had a stellar spring training and became the first pitcher to skip the minors since Darren Dreifert in 1994. That's 16 years ago! Now, he is arguably the best pitcher for the Reds. How good is he? He pitched a complete game 1-hit shutout last week in which the only baserunner got a hit that deflected off Janish's glove. That's right, a deflected ball away from a perfect game.

So I wonder why nobody is talking about Mike Leake. After all the years of hoping and praying Homer Bailey would be our ace, Leake's performance should put to rest any hope that may linger for Bailey to become something that he is clearly not.

And what about the chosen one Stephen Strasburg? He was the most hyped pitcher maybe ever, drafted #1 in the same draft ahead of Leake, and he is still throwing in the minors. I read minor league updates on his prowess against AA and AAA hitters every week, and everyone wonders when he will finally make his major league debut. Maybe they should look at GABP and see the rookie phenom who is already here!

Father of the Mother-F**king Year

One Paragraph Children's Show Reviews: Max & Ruby

A new feature, which you parents with children of a tv-watching age will hopefully enjoy and which I can bang out regularly since I'm limiting myself to a paragraph. First cut, Max & Ruby.

A show that any adult will find enraging, yet children somehow love. The show follows brother and sister rabbit protagonists, Max and Ruby, who, from what I can piece together, are orphans who are somehow independently wealthy, through their daily adventures. They have no parents to speak of, just a grandmother that occasionally pops up, and they live in a pretty awesome house - for two juvenile rabbits, that is. Throw aside the implausible premise for a moment, what really makes this unbearable for me is the fact that Max is obviously semi-retarded. He seems moderately grown up, based on his size relative to Ruby and his motor skills, but his speaking skills and actions frustrate beyond belief. He never learns anything, content to carry on in his mouth-breathing, mongoloid ways. You know how when your kid is in a really bad mood but won't vocalize the issue, instead preferring to scream and cry and throw shoes? That's Max ALL THE F*CKING TIME, sans the screaming, crying and shoe tossing! I want to reach into the television and strangle him at least 20 times every episode.

To summarize: Max & Ruby, two rabbits I would much rather eat than watch. Die.

Well I'll Be...

I'm at the age now where as I'm leaving for soccer games the Mrs. will always tell me, "Don't get hurt." Not, "good luck." Not, "play well." Don't get hurt. I'd like to think this is because I always play well and luck is for suckers, but in reality it's that I'm far more likely to hurt myself. Which I did this week, straining my groin. It wasn't horrible, but it was bad enough that I removed myself from the game (which, if you know my Cal Ripken-esque Iron Man attitude, is a big deal). It hurt after the game. It hurt when I showered. It hurt when I slept. And it hurt when I walked the next day.

So I headed over to my nearest sporting goods retailer at lunch with plans to get some sort of wrap for my groin and I stumbled into a display stand for something called KT Tape. If you're not familiar with kinesio tape, this is that crazy tape you see on professional athletes nowadays that looks like a spider web. I was curious, so I left without buying anything and did some research back at work about the stuff. It claimed to accelerate healing and recovery while reducing pain, and it had online demos on how to use it for taping various injuries - groin included.

So after work - still hurting - I went back and bought two rolls of the stuff. After the normal evening routing - still in pain - I sat down to tape myself up. I finish taping, stand up, and walk around. The pain is gone. Not less. Gone. I am in disbelief.

This morning I got up and went to the gym. I did an easy mile warmup run (7mph) and there was some irritation, but it was more irritating than painful. I proceeded to lift, including my legs, without feeling anything.

So maybe it's just coincidence. Maybe the Aleve suddenly kicked in. I don't know. What I do know is that I will keep my groin wrapped until this stuff falls off (it claims it can stay on through showering and exercise for as long as 5 days), and then I will tape it again. This may just be the fountain of youth - or at least something to get me through a few more seasons of competitive soccer...