Happy Valentine's Day

Here are some cards to share with your loved ones...












More can be found here - http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/valentines06/

Hypocrites All

As the Super Bowl approached, Jerome Bettis was a media darling. He could do no wrong. Why? Because he was always super nice and polite to the media. In return they had an unspoken rule that they would never bad mouth The Bus. Stupid fumble that almost cost his team the Super Bowl? Nah. Being a mediocre running back for 13 seasons? No way, he's one of the best ever. We'll call this the Bettis Effect.

A couple days ago news broke about an NHL gambling scandal being run by Coyote's assistant coach Rick Tocchet. Implicated in the scandal was Janet Jones, who happens to be the wife of Wayne Gretzky. Oh, and Wayne Gretzky is the head coach of the Coyote's who handpicked his long-time friend Rick Tocchet to be his assistant. So far Gretzky has kept his head out this mess and the media has done little to levy any blame on the Great One. This is likely because Gretzky was the face of hockey for almost two decades. In addition, he was always polite to the media and the media loved him in return. Bettis Effect.

Flash back almost a decade. After winning 3 straight championships and while still in his prime Michael Jordan suddenly "retires" from basketball. Rumors abounded that Jordan was politely "asked" to leave by NBA commissioner David Stern because of his rampant gambling habits. It was/is well known that Jordan has a love for gambling and would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars every year to support his habit. After a two year absence, Jordan returned to the Bulls and led them to three more championships before retiring again. Jordan's leave of absence was hardly ever questioned and Jordan's gambling habit is rarely discussed by any media outlet because Jordan was the face of basketball and was always cordial with media. Bettis Effect. Big time.

At this point you're probably wondering where the hell I'm going with this. Well, here you go - Pete Rose got a hosed because of his abrasive personality and sub-superstar status throughout his career.

Rose has been banned for life from baseball because he bet on the sport while still manager of the Reds. Former baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti had some sort of vendetta with Rose and hounded him like a dog until, with no actual evidence against him, Pete agreed to the lifetime ban. Now I'm not saying Pete didn't bet on baseball. He most likely did given testimony and evidence from sources, albeit extremely sketchy and questionable sources. My beef is that Pete was, and still is, hounded mercilessly for this. People keep digging, and digging, and digging for concrete proof and demanding that he admit to betting on the game. Pete Rose was never the best player in baseball. He was a very good player for a very long time - long enough that he was able to set records that will probably never be broken. Pete wasn't exceptionally talented. He busted his butt throughout his career to be better than he honestly should have been. Most importantly, Rose was, to put it mildly, a dick. Nobody really liked him. So when damning evidence popped up, people jumped on board to bash Rose and wouldn't let up until he was out of the game.

Here's what I'm saying - this kind of thing never will happen with Gretzky or Jordan. I bet if you dug deep enough into either one's records you could find evidence they gambled on their own sports. But these guys are such icons and so savvy at marketing and PR that it'll never happen. Their respective leagues wouldn't allow anyone to level such accusations against them. And probably their best cover is that these two were considered "good guys", so the media wouldn't touch them if they ate a baby on national television. Heck, the media and public are even willing to forgive Joe Jackson, who not only gambled on baseball but threw an entire freaking World Series (to the Reds, no less). But Joe seemed like a nice guy, so we make excuses as to why he should be forgiven but none of his conspirators.

Pete Rose was a great ballplayer but probably a bigger jerk. And no athlete has paid more dearly for being a jerk.

Do You Know This Man?

Because according to a cool website I just ran across - www.myheritage.com - he looks just like me!

MyHeritage.com is primarily a site that does facial recognition to see which family members you most resemble, but it also has the ability to match you against a celebrity photo database. So I uploaded a recent photo. My closest celebrity match? That's right, David Beckham. I'm hot.

I also found it amusing that my second closest match was Ayrton Senna, of Ayrton Senna Super Monaco GP II video game fame on the old Sega Genesis. That game was difficult.



Check it out and post your celebrity likeness matches in the comments.

Just Saying...

Casino Royale, the next James Bond movie, has been getting a lot of bad press lately. So I'm just saying it here for the record, the concept of this movie sounds awesome - a young James Bond, just starting out and getting tortured and f-ed up.

In addition, I think Daniel Craig will make a great James Bond. Anybody who has seen Layer Cake or Munich knows what I'm talking about. The guy can do suave and he can surely do tough. At the respective stages of their careers, Craig is a more accomplished actor than any of the previous Bonds, Sean Connery included. I look forward to a new spin on James Bond where he isn't all stupid puns.

The movie will be good and you heard it here first...

UPDATE: Lee Tamahori, the man signed on to direct this film (and who also directed the wildly underrated movie The Edge) was recently arrested for soliciting a male prostitute who happened to be a police officer... while dressed in drag. I'm not backing out of my statements above, just giving myself some room.

The Wheels On The Bus Go... CHA-CHING!!!

So every year, the Super Bowl is a little anti-climactic. It's always two teams I could care less about. This year it was the Steelers (who caused me to lose the Fantasy championship by getting a damn shutout against the hapless Browns in Week 16 AND probably ruined the Bengals franchise for 5 years with a cheap shot to Carson Palmer) vs. the Seahawks (who caused me to waste a roster spot on Darrell Jackson all year saying he would be back next week AND screwed me with Hasselbeck who never threw a TD when I played him). Can you tell where my NFL interests lie?

Anyway, the only way I enjoy the Super Bowl (other than with lots of food and alcohol) is by playing the good old Super Bowl squares game. It goes like this, you buy a random square on a 10x10 grid. After all the squares are purchased, random numbers are drawn to assign to each column and row across the grid. If at the end of each quarter, the last number of the teams' scores matches your grid square - you win!

I know what you're saying. It's a waste of money.Well, I won it 2 years ago when the Panthers lost to the Pats. Late in the 4th, Carolina went for a 2 point conversion to extend their lead to 3 and missed. That was closely followed by a last second Vinitieri field goal. See - easy! Winning $625 is not bad for a $25 square! Ali and I went to Vegas on that!

So what happened this year? Well, I had decent numbers. Steelers 1 and Seahawks 0. Lots of combos to win. All was great when Randle El completed a fake reverse WR pass to Ward for a TD. My numbers hit. However, there were still 9 minutes to play. No way they hold up. Well, the Seahawks had no ball control or clock management skills, and the Steelers were content to give it to the Bus and run the clock. After yelling openly at Madden for suggesting that Holmgren should kick the field goal rather than go for the TD first, Hasselbeck redeemed his entire season and botched the final series. I win another $625!!! I rule.

By The Way...

Louisville 89 - Notre Dame 86, in OT...

8 conferences losses + 26 points combined loss margin = FIRE MIKE BREY!

This team is officially done, their confidence thoroughly shot. Way to go, Brey.

Anyone know what Matt Doherty is up to these days?

Fire Mike Brey

I had the misfortune of watching the ND - WVU basketball game last night. The picture was spectacular in HD, but that's neither here nor there. Notre Dame lost. By 1 point. Again. For those of you keeping score at home that puts Notre Dame's record in the Big East at 1-7 with those 7 losses coming by a combined 23 points. Notre Dame currently sits at 10-9 overall and 14th in the Big East standings. They're pretty much out of the running for a NCAA tournament bid and they're looking like they may even miss out on the Big East tournament (only the top 12 teams are invited).

I'm okay with one or two nail-biter losses, but 7 is ridiculous. At some point you need to start questioning the coach, in this case Mike Brey. A lot of people seem to think he's some sort of godsend, what with his fancy-schmancy Duke pedigree and all. I think he's an idiot. He is slowly but surely returning Notre Dame's title of most 7-foot useless white guys on the court at the same time (anyone remember the Ross brothers, John MacLeod's parting shot?).

My biggest complaint is his use, or lack thereof, of his big men. At one point during last night's game, Rick Cornette and Torin Francis had a combined 28 points and 16 rebounds yet, inexplicably, Brey would never put the two on the floor at the same time. Instead he chose to rely on the totally awesome 6-11 Rob Kurtz, who mainly just stood around the arc and jacked 3's instead of getting dirty in the paint and pulling rebounds. Jordan Cornette did the exact same thing last year. I got to hate Jordan Cornette so much that I couldn't watch games last year. I'd turn it on, watch that imbecile jack another 3, brick or airball, then release a litany of profanities unfit to reproduce even in this blog. Why do the biggest guys on Notre Dame's team have free reign to hoist 3-pointers again and again. If memory serves, Colin Falls and Chris Quinn both shoot around 50% from 3-point land. Isn't that enough. Do you think Mike Krysaslkdjfask would allow that? Or Jim Calhoun? Or Bob Knight? If a big man on one of their teams even stood outside the 3-point line all of those coaches would bench the guy for 10 minutes or longer. The fact that Brey just lets them do it again and again and again is inexcusable.

Bottom line is this - Notre Dame is getting recruits and they have good ball players, but they have zero discipline. They fall behind by double digits early, claw back, and eventually come up short. That's the coaches fault, top to bottom. March Madness is the best sporting event of the year and Notre Dame has missed out on it all but once during Mike Brey's tenure. If it doesn't change, I'm flying to South Bend, taking a cab to the JACC, punching Mike Brey in the kidney, then challenging Rob Kurtz to a steel cage match. If that's what it takes to right this program, I'm up for it...

Pajarito Gets Some Payback!

The most awesome video I have ever seen is the infamous bear on a trampoline. Just click the link to see why. However, a close second recently was captured in Mexico City.

Pajarito in Spanish means little bird. If by little, you mean 1000 pounds of beef, then fine. The bird part is right on though as Pajarito can truly fly. As we all know, bullfights are pretty rough on the bull. The best a bull can hope for (as well as the audience) is a little mauling action on the matador. Come on - he deserves it! He wears that outfit and teases the bull with his red cape. The outcome is inevitable. The matador stabs the bull with a sword. The bull is then finished off by the banderilleros (kill sqaud). I'm no PETA fan, but this is a pretty bad tradition!

However, a new possible outcome emerged this week. Click this link to see the little bird fly!!! This bull gets so much air, it's amazing! Then the chaos begins as he proceeds to tear up the hapless spectators. Amazingly, only two major injuries occured, including a woman gored in the chest. Sadly, this stud had to be sent to the big pasture in the sky for his insolence. Pajarito sacraficed himself to obtain his revenge. I hope the other bulls were watching.

NLoISD

College football's NLoISD (National Letter-of-Intent Signing Day) is today. Notre Dame is currently listed as having the #5 class, but who knows what's going to happen on today, as it's the last time recruits can change their minds on their schools without repercussions. I've heard that Florida, the current #1 class, has been losing some players since verbal commitments were announced. I'm just hopfeul that ND doesn't lose anyone. With the commits we've received, if we can just keep what we got, it would be huge! It would be nice to steal a DT (defensive tackle) from somewhere, as it's the only real need position we didn't fill. And if anyone watched the Fiesta Bowl, they know that pressure on the opposing QB was lacking from the ND D-line.

That said, letters are signed at noon today. Meaning three things: 1) another day off of school for high school football players; 2) The last day of having to hear about the soap-opera lives of high school football players; 3) We can finally start planning the future of ND football, instead of speculating on who is going to play.

I can't wait for next season!

State of the Union Recap

In case you missed it, I've put together a handy recap of last night's State of the Union address:

1. President Bush re-packaged a bunch of failed initiatives, e.g. Social Security and Healthcare reform.
   
2. Republicans cheered, Democrats booed.
   
3. President Bush admitted failure to his privatized Social Security plan.
   
4. Democrats cheered (mockingly), President Bush chided.
   
5. President Bush spewed more public relations drivel, punctuated by sporadic, partyline-driven applause.
   

After the speech, all networks spent the next 30 minutes with their own version of "exclusive" coverage that went something like this:

1. Network interviews Democratic representative, who bashes the Bush speech and agenda.
   
2. Network interviews Republican representative, who lauds the Bush speech and agenda.
   

Only two things in the entire 2 hours of coverage were worth watching:

1. President Bush read a letter from Staff Sgt. Daniel Clay, killed in the war in Iraq, to the audience that contained the quote, "I faced death with the secure knowledge that you would not have to. Never falter."
   
2. President Bush's quote, "Hindsight alone is not wisdom. And second-guessing is not a strategy."
   

I think that second quote pretty much sums up politics in general - politicians always ripping one another for past mistakes that are now glaringly obvious but at the time were not so black and white (or were even supported by said ripping politician, although they'll never admit that now), while they themselves offer nothing constructive.

All-in-all, it was 2 hours I'm never getting back. But President Bush in HD? Well, actually, kinda scary...