The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Friday, July 19, 2013

Xenu's Revenge!


Look, we all know what Scientology is. It's a pyramid scheme hiding behind the veil of religion. Look, don't take my word for it, take the words of founder L. Ron Hubbard:
"You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion."
I think most rational people understand that Scientology is just a cult. I was willing to laugh at them and make fun of the sycophants like Tom Cruise and Jenna Elfman. I always love a good article on a recent scientologist defection, and saw one today on the main CNN page. It was a video (which I refuse to watch), so I Googled the topic to see what it was about. That sent me spiraling down the internet rabbit hole on one of the most shocking series of articles I have ever read:

NY Daily News
This article summarizes what happened with Leah Remini. She was friends with Shelly Miscavige, the wife of the leader of Scientology. She questioned where her friend went, as she has not been seen or heard from since 2007. She also questioned Tom Cruise's relationship with said leader, David Miscavige.

Michele Miscavige
That brought me to the next link, the Wikipedia entry on this missing person. Read about her disappearance. It's totally f-ed up! Can you imagine if Michelle Obama disappeared for 6 years, and Barak said she was working for the government at an undisclosed location? The article suggests she may be at a secret Scientology location known as The Hole. Of course I needed to know more.

The Hole
This is perhaps the most incredible read on Scientology I have ever had. Take the time to go through it. It's not conjecture. These are stories and info confirmed by the official Scientologist spokespeople. Some gems:
"According to Janet Reitman, in the late fall of 2004 Miscavige called together 70 senior Church executives in a pair of double-wide trailers normally used as the international management team's offices. They were ordered to play a game of musical chairs in the management conference room. Those who failed to get a chair when the music stopped would be "offloaded" from the base to be sent away from their spouses and children to languish in the most remote and unpleasant locations in Scientology's empire. As Queen's Greatest Hits was played, the competition for seats became increasingly fierce: "By the time the number had dwindled to twenty, people were throwing one another against the walls, ripping seats from one another's hands, wrestling one another to the floor."< At the end of the contest, Miscavige ordered that all the executives were to stay in the conference room and sleep under the tables until further notice. They stayed there for the next few days, with occasional deliveries of food, before being released."
And what happens if you get sent here and want to leave, or quit Scientology?
"The perimeter of the base is closely guarded around the clock. It is ringed with high fences that are topped with spikes and razor wire and monitored by inward-facing motion sensors to detect anyone trying to climb out of the compound. The Tampa Bay Times reported that dozens of workers tried to escape from the base – some of them repeatedly – but were caught and returned by Sea Org "pursuit teams". The escapees are said to have been subjected to isolation, interrogation and punishment on their return to the compound."
Uh, is that legal? Good luck trying to find out. It's all "religious" business and I don't know how this could even be investigated by authorities.

Wow. Just wow.


Monday, July 15, 2013

Hooray for PBS!


I can't stand reality television. It was the first step in the dumbening (Is that how you spell dumbening? Wait, dumbening isn't even a word. Hmmm...) of America. I don't watch much television in general, but when I do I often find myself gravitating to PBS, or, at least, their imported BBC specials like Sherlock. Anyway, it looks like PBS shares my feelings regarding reality television based on a series of new ads mocking reality television, in general, and the portion of the populace that actually watches them, specifically. It started with a series of fake subway poster ads:


And it has since escalated into video parodies:


God bless you, PBS. Never change - except get rid of that horrible American Woodshop show and bring back New Yankee Workshop. Scott Phillips is a hack.