The Royal Heffernans


Quite possibly the best family ever

Friday, September 01, 2006

Notre Dame Is Back - BUT...


The 2006 Notre Dame football season is upon us. So what does the cover of every sports magazine and college football preview issue say? NOTRE DAME IS BACK. We really are. We have an amazing coach who gets Notre Dame, a strong team of upper classmen, two consecutive top recruiting classes, and a Heisman trophy frontrunner. Ticket applications are at an all-time high, hotels are charging $600 a night for game weekends (with a 3 day minimum stay), and every Irish game will again be nationally televised. Finally, we are ranked #2 and #3 in the top preseason polls and are a legit National Title contender.

All of this is amazing and I know we all are dying for the season to start. However, I just wanted to remind everyone what being back on top really means. There is no joy or happiness in being on top. The only way that happens is if we really win it all, which has happened once in my lifetime that I can remember ( I was a little young in 1977). Being on top means angst, doubt, anger and dispair. Every game is a must win. Blowouts mean our schedule is too weak, and we will get hurt in the polls. A close win is a portent of future collapse, and losses are absolutely devastating. Notre Dame is certainly back, but I don't know if I can take it!

So to get everyone mentally prepared for being back on top, we need to prepare for the inevitable letdown and ensuing dispair. By the way, November 20 and 30 are absolutely the worst days of the year for the Irish (fortunately, we play USC November 25 this year). I present to you...

The Bottom 10: Lowest Moments in Notre Dame Football



#10 George Gipp Dies of Pneumonia

Gipp was the legendary Irish player under coach Knute Rockne. During his Notre Dame career, Gipp rushed for 2,341 yards and threw for 1,789, scored 21 touchdowns, averaged 38 yards a punt, and gathered 5 interceptions as well as 14 yards per punt return and 22 yards per kick return in four seasons of play for the Irish. He became Notre Dame's first All-American, elected by Walter Camp in 1920. Gipp died on December 14, 1920 at the ripe old age of 25. He contracted pneumonia after playing Northwestern 2 weeks earlier (on November 20) and never recovered.

The Bright Side: Rockne later uses Gipp's death to motivate his team with the most famous pep talk in the history of sports.



#9 Rocket Ismail Loses the Heisman

Rocket was hands down the most exciting player in the history of college football. Any time he touched the ball, he had a chance to take it to the house. He single handedly won games against Michigan and Miami in 1990, and should have won us a National Championship by returning the final punt for a TD in the Orange Bowl. THERE WAS NO CLIP! However, the voters snub Notre Dame and give the Heisman Trophy to stat boy Ty Detmer of BYU. Did he play any real teams in his career at BYU?

The Bright Side: Ty Detmer gets his in the NFL. Rocket gets PAID in the CFL.



#8 Notre Dame Gives Carson Palmer the Heisman

Apparently, Notre Dame can't earn a Heisman, but we can give one away! Notre Dame goes into LA on November 30, 2002, riding high at the close of Ty Willingham's first season. USC and Carson Palmer absolutely dismantle the Irish winning 44-13. Palmer passes for 425 yards and 4 touchdowns. Fresh off this complete annihilation of Notre Dame, Palmer leaps to the front of the Heisman race and wins in a landslide. The worst thing is that deep down, we all realize that Ty is not the answer.

The Bright Side: The Bengals draft Palmer and he turns the franchise around. Cincinnati Bengals: Super Bowl XLI Champions!



#7 George O'Leary Resigns in Disgrace

In 2001, after the failed Davie experiment, George O'Leary left Georgia Tech to take over as the head coach for the University of Notre Dame. His coaching tenure was highlighted by... his hiring press conference. O'Leary never coached a day of practice, as he resigned five days later after he was discovered to have lied on his resume. On the resume, O'Leary claimed that he had earned a master's degree from New York University when in actuality, he only attended the school but never graduated. He also claimed that he had earned three letters in football at the University of New Hampshire, when the school claimed he had not even played in one game. Notre Dame is a laughingstock.

The Bright Side: He really wasn't the right match for the Irish anyway. He probably would have been slightly better than Willingham as coach and we would still be stuck with him and an above average team for several more years.



#6 NCAA Probation


In 1999, the NCAA found Notre Dame guilty of a "major violation" of NCAA regulations after deciding Kim Dunbar had systematically given players money and gifts between 1993 and 1998. Dunbar was living with a player, with whom they shared a child. She basically supported him and his friends. Yeah, she was a scum bag because she embezzled the money from her company. However, we got nailed because she paid $25 to go to a QB Club luncheon making the NCAA consider her a booster! Notre Dame football was placed on probation by the NCAA for two years, and this piece of garbage, suitable only for toilet paper, was published.

The Bright Side:
For this "major violation", Notre Dame only lost 1 scholarship for 2 consecutive years.



#5 Don't Call It A Comeback

I threw this bone in there for Dad. November 30, 1974. Notre Dame goes up on USC 24-0. However, USC comes roaring back scoring 55 consecutive points! Davis, who had returned 2 kicks for TDs against the Irish 2 years before, scores 4 himself. In my worst nightmares, I can't imagine how I would feel watching 55 straight get run off against us. USC goes on to win the National Championship.

The Bright Side: I wasn't alive and never have to share in Dad's nightmares.



#4 Gerry Faust Goes Out in Style

You guessed it, November 30, 1985. Gerry Faust has announced his resignation after years of mediocrity at Notre Dame. The Irish travel to the Orange Bowl for Faust's final regular season game against Miami. In a 58-7 whipping, Jimmy Johnson runs it up mercilessly against the hapless Irish defense. Watching the horror of this game is actually one of my first ND football memories. Sucks for me! Thirsty for revenge, the seeds of the Catholics vs. Convicts legend are sown.

The Bright Side: Lou Holtz arrives as head coach turning things around in 2 seasons before winning the National Championship in 1988.



#3 The Push

In one of the greatest games in college football history, 2 time defending National Champ USC comes to South Bend expecting to smash the upstart Irish and continue their winning streak on the way to title #3. Notre Dame controls the game until we give up a miracle pass to Dwayne Jarrett on 4th and 9 for 61 yards. That hurt, but the clock running out making me think we won just ripped my heart out. Then, watching "The Push" steal victory from us was unbearable. I hate Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush.

The Bright Side: Even though we lost this one, deep down we all now know that Charlie Weis is indeed the real deal and the return to glory is imminent.



#2 Knute Rockne's Plane Crashes

The greatest coach in the history of college football, Rockne single handedly put football and Notre Dame on the map. During 13 years as head coach, he oversaw 105 victories, 12 losses, five ties, and six national championships, including five undefeated seasons. At the peak of his coaching career, Rockne died in a tragic plane crash in Kansas in 1931. He had been visiting his sons at boarding school, when after takeoff the wing separated from the plane sending it into a nosedive before crashing into a rural field.

The Bright Side: Nothing makes a legend grow like an untimely death. Knute Rockne is canonized into college football lore, and the movie Knute Rockne: All-American is made later launching Ronald Reagan into the White House.



#1 Boston College Ruins My Freshman Year

Every facet of this game just hurts to think about. Notre Dame is fresh off its victory in the Game of the Century against FSU in 1993. Now ranked #1, we are destined for the National Championship. Boston College comes to town (November 20) and pours it on. We look terrible, beaten. Then, we roar back to take the lead on a 2 pt conversion late in the 4th quarter, destiny seemed to shine upon us again! I am a freshman and the entire student section rushes the aisles in anticipation of rushing the field in moments. Then, I watch from the aisle as BC drives down the field and puts a field goal throught he uprights to win it with no time on the clock. The field gets rushed - by BC fans. Make the hurting stop!

The Bright Side: At least I didn't have to talk to Tracy Weaver who inexplicably came up to Notre Dame with Mom, Dad and Bridget that weekend.

2 comments:

ian said...

Awesome! I just had a seizure...

Teddy said...

I forgot one gem. September 18, 2004 in East Lansing against the Spartans. With 5:39 to go in the 3rd quarter, the Irish score to go up 28-7. We look like we've got the game well in hand. But our brilliant head coach - Ty Willingham has disappeared. He sprints from the locker room after the ensuing kickoff looking around like an idiot as the Spartan crowd goes crazy after MSU runs the kickoff back for a TD.

Where was Ty? He had to take a shit break! I shit you not! That is the absolute truth! You can't make this shit up!