World Cup Soup #4

The 2006 FIFA World Cup Final takes place this summer in Germany. Bridget and Bryan are going, and the rest of the Heffernan family is jealous. As this is the greatest spectacle in sports, there will be no shortage of unique tidbits surrounding the event. World Cup Soup will be there to document these items.

England Needs Roo

So just who is Wayne Rooney? Before April 29, I have to admit I only knew he was another hot young striker for England playing for Man U. After April 29, I suddenly realized that he is actually Pele, Eusebio, Maradona and Jesus Christ all wrapped into one body. It was a foregone conclusion that England with Rooney would win the 2006 World Cup.

So what happened to the 20 year old Man-God on April 29? While playing a league match against Chelsea, Rooney was tackled hard by defender Paulo Ferreira, fracturing his right 4th metatarsal along with another small bone in his foot. (Actual x-ray of a similar injury to yours truly last April) Disaster! With only 6 weeks before the World Cup, all hope was lost. To make matters worse, this was the second time Roo had suffered such a setback near a major tourney (Euro 2004). Surely, England need not even show up to Germany.

The British and European obsession with Rooney is hilarious! By attempting to read news on the upcoming World Cup (only 2 days away), all one can find are Rooney updates. Seriously, today was very bad as final word was expected as to whether Rooney would be able to play. Let's follow the headlines online today:

Roo Boards Private Jet in Germany
Roo Arrives in England for Scan
Roo Escorted to Private Hospital for Scan
Roo Leaves Hospital and Heads to Airport
Roo Arrives Back in Germany
Roo Cleared to Play for England

Whoopee F%$#ing Doo! I hope England goes down in flames in the opening round, and Rooney scores 10 goals despite the humiliating defeats. I can already see the headline:

Roo Scores 10 But Fails as Midfielder, Defender and Keeper