Can a Website Jump the Shark?

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

So we've all used the term for TV. It's the precise moment when a formerly great show takes that final and fatal turn for the worse. Fonzie was the original on Happy Days, but nearly every show has "that" moment. I wonder if the same can be said of a website?

Movies are a favorite topic hear on The Royal Heffernans blog. Probably 2nd only to Notre Dame. I own hundreds of movies, and am embracing the new technology and streaming more and more at home. Obviously, keeping up with upcoming movies online is a big part of that. For many years, my "go to" website was Ain't It Cool News. Harry Knowles and his crew liked the types of movies I liked. They had great sources, and always seemed to have the scoop on exciting new projects. They were irreverent, and would tear down a movie if it wasn't any good. It was almost a one stop shop for movie info.

Now, I think that has changed. For many reasons (all of which I will not go into here), the fans of this website, which was once the pinnacle of online movie news, have turned on Harry and the site. Suffice it to say that the quality of the website has gone down. Reviews are no longer trusted. The appearance of the website seems woefully behind the rest of the internet. Exclusive news and scoops are fewer and farther between. The website has also had some financial difficulties. 

In an effort to reinvent his brand, Harry started a web series titled, Ain't It Cool with Harry Knowles. He produced a series of short episodes, of which I had no interest in watching. By most accounts, they were self-indulgent and smarmy. In any case, Harry wanted to take his series to the next level and up the ante for season 2. So he did what anyone in Hollywood would do - he followed the current trend. That would be crowd-sourced financing.

So not only did Harry ask for financing for his new season. He WANTS $300k to build a studio, produce a show, pay for guests travel and even get a TV partner! However, he NEEDS $100k at a minimum just to allow production of the season. Why he needs that much for a web series, only Harry knows. However, the backlash has been merciless. In the most active talkbalk I have ever seen on AICN, thousands of former fans are lashing out at Harry and the Kickstarter campaign. I'll let talkbalker reflecto say it on his top comment:

Okay, look, in all seriousness, Harry:

WHY SHOULD ANYONE FUND THIS?

The "first season" was just a vanity project for you - all about you, starring you, about you and your fabulous toys which you have and no one else does and we're supposed to envy you. Any guest who came on who had accomplished more than you from humble roots (like the writer of Sinister) you shit on.

You blatantly distributed fake information on the Prometheus script then refused to properly apologize and laughed it off like a joke. Just like you've refused to properly apologize for so many plant reviews. Refused to apologize for gross errors in judgment like promising for a decade to update the site and failing to, and never bothering to properly set up regular communication with your consumer base. Refused to apologize for going into movies reviewing them "in your head" as the movie you imagine them to be as opposed to the movie they are - whether good (in the case of Chris Nolan) or bad (in the case of most summer movies of the last five years which you hyped yourself about because of a director or property, regardless of the film's actual quality). You refuse to apologize for even penny-ante mistakes like being too lazy to do your DVD column, or "Brian Cox", or when you watch screeners instead of going to the actual movie. You refuse to admit any fault. You refuse to acknowledge any failure. Because to you, everyone here with a valid complaint is just a cranky joke you call "Boiler", and their negativity (and your crippling debt) doesn't belong in Harry's magical world of movies where he's special and really cool and you're not, don't you want to be just like him?

And now you expect the "Boilers" to fund another season of a boring show that is all about you, all about your toys, all about your ego and has nothing to offer the world.

Have the balls to reply to your users for once, and tell me exactly why anyone should do that after everything else I've just described.

Umm, yeah. This project is going down in flames, and I think the end is nigh for Ain't It Cool News. Any other great movie sites out there that people are following? Tough to find that one site...

• /Film
• HitFix
• Collider

Game Week!

Football game this weekend: CHECK

Game watch party in 110" HD: CHECK

Optional 3D for 6 fans: CHECK

New ND hat to replace tainted hat worn to the National Championship: CHECK

The season is finally upon us! No more worrying about recruiting, 2-deeps and crummy practice reports. On Saturday, the real deal starts up again as Notre Dame faces off against Temple. My optimism, as usual abounds.

A recent post I made identified my 3 keys to the season. I am sticking with these 100%. In addition, I'm not the only one who feels this way:

1) Rees' development as a QB

The Rock Report had an outstanding article evaluating Rees, in particular his sophomore year in which he was THE man after Crist was pulled. The numbers are shocking, and the prospects for Rees to do well in 2013 look good!

2) Normal team development

Not that this is my favorite site, but The Rock Report had another great article on 2013. It makes a ton of sense, even if you take off the blue/gold tinted glasses.

3) Michigan

Think this isn't important? Think again. Michigan has been prepping for this with practice simulations during fall camp. The old days of Lou and Bo going back and forth are back. Again, we win this, and I think we are in a BCS bowl. We lose, and the season could go off the tracks. You know we'll use vanilla formations all day long against Temple. Like Holtz, Kelly will not tip his hand for the next game! So I expect to see a lot of hand offs up the middle, and a lot of player rotation. I'm totally fine with hiding every bit of info possible from Hoke. No practice coverage, fine. Keep our new gamebreakers under wraps, fine. Eeek out a 10 point win against Temple, fine. The only important thing is winning. If these tactics give us a better shot against Michigan, then use 'em!

Should we roll over Temple this week? Yeah. Will I be upset if I don't see amazing offensive fireworks, or if Temple gets a few too many points on the board? NO WAY!!!

I think the media has overlooked what Kelly has built here at ND. In four short years, our talent is strong and deep. Has everyone forgotten we were in the National Championship last year? There really is no reason why we can't get back there. Preseason rankings in the teens are really a joke.

This team can truly compete for a National Championship. Of that I have no doubt. We'll be favored in all but maybe Michigan and Stanford. While it's very hard to go 12-0, I think 11-1 is what we're looking at this year if we achieve the keys to the season above. Then, keep your fingers crossed! Naysayers who are talking 5 losses must be insane. This team has too much talent, and now we have experience and a desire to get to the top of the mountain. The 5-loss underachieving days of Weis are long gone. I think we may be in for another run in 2013.

T -3 days!

 

Store tonight, pack tomorrow, leave Friday and the fun begins Saturday!!! The beach looks awesome. Nice waves, water is 82 degrees, and the forecast looks to be in the mid to high 80's all week! 

Just in case anyone has forgotten, here's the floorplan:

And a lovely video from the website with awesome elevator music!


I am getting really pumped up. Can't wait for the cousins to go nuts. Piper is a little person now too. She will be EVERYWHERE! As a last minute purchase, we got a fancy sun-shade for the beach for Piper. It will be a good place for the littlest ones to get some shade and stay out for longer! See you all soon!!!

NFL Skates By Again!

In a similar vein to my other post today, the other hot topic in sports right now is the announcement of MLB suspensions in the wake of the Biogenesis scandal. While MLB and baseball pats itself on the back saying they have finally turned around PEDs in baseball, I would tell them to simmer down. Does anyone really think Tony Bosch is the "Thomas Edison" of PEDs? Have we already forgotten Victor Conte? For every PED lab that gets busted, I guarantee there are 9 that go undetected. While I agree that PED use in baseball has turned around, I would still estimate conservatively that there are about 10 times more players using than are busted. But at least the players are changing their tune and getting involved in cleaning things up. That's a huge development.

All that being said, I would like to redirect the focus on the NFL. For the life of me, I can't figure out how the NFL is able to skate by without any repercussions from PED use, when baseball gets continually hammered. After reading about and thinking about this a lot, I think it has to do with a combination 3 factors:

1. Baseball's reliance on stats and historical records.
2. The average baseball fan is older and more traditional.
3. Many of baseball's greatest players of this era have been implicated.

I would be willing to bet that if Tom Brady, Laurence Taylor, Emmitt Smith, Jerry Rice and about 20 others had been busted, we'd be looking a lot harder at the NFL and PEDs. If one were to look, you would see things like the above infographic.

This just in... NFL players are HUGE! Research over the last 70 years has shown the overall weight of NFL players has increased about 1.5 pounds per year. That's unbelievable! Even more amazing is the body transformation. Another study showed that while the height and weight of players has increased, the body fat % has not kept pace, staying similar or actually decreasing over that time!!! Don't forget the amazing speed. How about a 6'8" 280 lb D-lineman running a 4.6 40 yard dash! That's just one example.

So is this all attributed to nutrition, weight-lifting and supplements? Hell no! PED use in the NFL is rampant, and anyone who says otherwise is just not watching football. I don't think human beings have evolved that much over the last 70 years. Charles Darwin is probably rolling over in his grave at the mere suggestion. The really interesting corollary is that if I'm right (and I think I am), either the NFL has the worst testing in sports, or the teams/league are all in on it. Judge for yourself.

I love football, but I'm not a blind idiot. When AP comes back less than a year after an ACL tear and almost breaks the single season rushing record, I know something is up. I also love baseball, and it just seems inherently unfair that if a player has a huge year (Chris Davis), or has a resurgence in his 30's, he's automatically using PEDs. By the way, if you think the NBA and NHL are PED-free, I've got a nice beachfront property to sell you in South Dakota!

Manti For Heisman*

Mug shot of 2012 Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Football

Okay, I could take this post down the path that the title suggests, and you all think I will. I could detail Manziel's run-in with the law that almost got him kicked out of A&M before his Heisman season. I could focus on the endless series of questionable choices and decisions by Manziel since the season ended. I could complain about how unfair the media treated Te'o following his catfish incident. BUT I WON'T!

Instead, I'm going to use Manziel's latest incident (which may get him ruled ineligible for the upcoming season) and discuss the notion of paying college athletes.

For anyone who hasn't watched or read any sports in the last week, Manziel is in hot water because he allegedly was paid 5-figures to sign a batch of memorabilia at the BCS National Championship Game in January. The NCAA was right on this because a FLOOD of Manziel items hit the market on eBay all at once, looking very suspicious. Of course, all parties are very quiet right now as the investigation proceeds at a rapid pace. All except an anonymous memorabilia guy who says Manziel's "handler/friend" told him that Johnny Football would no longer be signing for free.

I don't know what will happen to Manziel, and I don't care. The issue at hand is that of paying NCAA athletes. As you listen to the radio or read articles, all the discussion on the Manziel incident has focused on:

A) How stupid he was to do this and get caught

B) How stupid it is that an NCAA player cannot sell his own likeness for money

While I whole-heartedly afree with point A), I think people are absolutely ignorant if they support point B).

Let me give you a little example. The NCAA says it will allow athletes to sell autographs, as long as they don't have any school logos. Just autographs with your picture or on a generic ball or shirt. Seems reasonable on the surface, right? So what happens when South Carolina has a booster who owns a memorabilia business. All the Gamecock players are shuffled over and get between $500 and $1000 each to sign for an afternoon. Great source of income. Over time, coaches could casually mention this when recruiting players. Now South Carolina has a significant recruiting advantage. 

What happens next? Do I even have to say it? Alabama sees this. So they find a rich booster to start his own "memorabilia" business. However, he pays star players $100,000 to sign a few items. Totally legal, because he's just paying for an autograph or picture. Now, USC has a booster who works in Hollywood producing films. He gets a couple guys from the Trojans to have small parts in his new movie. They are paid for their own work based upon their likeness and recognition. Also totally allowed.

Can you see how this works? Any tiny little crack in the door will blow the whole damn thing up! It's really all or nothing with college sports. Either you pay them or you don't. If you don't, they'll find ways to cheat, and the better cheaters will have an advantage. That's the SEC right now. Don't believe me? Ask Urban Meyer about how recruiting works in the SEC. If you do pay them, there will be even more of an advantage for the richer schools who can pay more and offer more extra benefits than other non-traditional powers.

I really don't think paying NCAA athletes is a good idea. Sure there's so much money in the newer TV contracts, but these athletes do get full rides to college that are worth anywhere from $100,000 to $300,000. I think a reasonable step would be to allow Division 1 athletes a stipend to support cost of living. I think this would have three great results: 

1) Athletes would be less tempted to cheat and make a dumb decision to get extra cash.

2) It would be standardized for all D1 athletes in all sports. This would level the field for all schools.

3) Current D1 schools that are not making the big bucks would have to drop to D2, thus filtering out the glut of schools who really shouldn't be D1 anyway.

*I still think Te'o was robbed and should be retroactively awarded the Heisman when they strip it from Manziel!

Irish Football 2013

You knew it was coming. Our first official blog post of the 2013 ND Football season! Brian Kelly held his opening press conference of the season today, thus ending one of the most painful offseasons in memory. Let's recap the top story lines shall we?

• From the highest of the highs to the lowest of the lows, our beatdown by Alabama ended 2012 with a very sour taste in our mouths.
• Kelly's flirtation with the NFL, perhaps costing us a couple recruits.
• The Manti T'eo catfish saga. What the press did to him is reprehensible.
• The dismissal of starting QB Everett Golson from school.
• The flip by Eddie Vanderdoes (future NFL D-lineman) AFTER he had signed a binding letter of intent. He went to UCLA, appealed to the NCAA, and was cleared to play THIS SEASON!!! Brave new world in which a LOI means nothing.

So let's just throw all that crap out the window right now. I admit, I was pretty pessimistic for 2013 after the Golson issue, but after reading about the presser today, I am really trying to temper my enthusiasm. Now, I remember that we really are a very talented, deep team. There are 3 keys to the season in my mind, and they are pretty simple:

1) Rees' development as a QB
Rees was an okay QB when he was our starter 2 years ago. If (as Kelly says) he truly has developed and improved, you can't tell me he couldn't do for ND what recent SEC QBs have done for their National Championship teams. That means NO BIG MISTAKES and converting those 3rd and short situations.

2) Normal team development
We have a TON of people back. A good coaching staff should create incremental improvement in its players. If we improve as expected at several positions, we could have an overall better team than 2012.

3) Michigan
The importance and magnitude of this game cannot be understated. They are ready. It's at the biggish house. Last trip there in the foreseeable future. Night. This will be huge. If we can pull out a victory (I think we'll be underdogs), that could set the tone for the rest of the season. A loss could derail things.

Given those, as always it will take a few breaks to finish this season like last. That Stanford game could end up being for a BCS game. Yet another stressful Thanksgiving Saturday night! I will reign back my gloom and doom predictions from earlier this spring and say we end up 10-2 with an at-large BCS bowl game.

Xenu's Revenge!

Look, we all know what Scientology is. It's a pyramid scheme hiding behind the veil of religion. Look, don't take my word for it, take the words of founder L. Ron Hubbard:

"You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion."

I think most rational people understand that Scientology is just a cult. I was willing to laugh at them and make fun of the sycophants like Tom Cruise and Jenna Elfman. I always love a good article on a recent scientologist defection, and saw one today on the main CNN page. It was a video (which I refuse to watch), so I Googled the topic to see what it was about. That sent me spiraling down the internet rabbit hole on one of the most shocking series of articles I have ever read:

NY Daily News
This article summarizes what happened with Leah Remini. She was friends with Shelly Miscavige, the wife of the leader of Scientology. She questioned where her friend went, as she has not been seen or heard from since 2007. She also questioned Tom Cruise's relationship with said leader, David Miscavige.

Michele Miscavige
That brought me to the next link, the Wikipedia entry on this missing person. Read about her disappearance. It's totally f-ed up! Can you imagine if Michelle Obama disappeared for 6 years, and Barak said she was working for the government at an undisclosed location? The article suggests she may be at a secret Scientology location known as The Hole. Of course I needed to know more.

The Hole
This is perhaps the most incredible read on Scientology I have ever had. Take the time to go through it. It's not conjecture. These are stories and info confirmed by the official Scientologist spokespeople. Some gems:

"According to Janet Reitman, in the late fall of 2004 Miscavige called together 70 senior Church executives in a pair of double-wide trailers normally used as the international management team's offices. They were ordered to play a game of musical chairs in the management conference room. Those who failed to get a chair when the music stopped would be "offloaded" from the base to be sent away from their spouses and children to languish in the most remote and unpleasant locations in Scientology's empire. As Queen's Greatest Hits was played, the competition for seats became increasingly fierce: "By the time the number had dwindled to twenty, people were throwing one another against the walls, ripping seats from one another's hands, wrestling one another to the floor."< At the end of the contest, Miscavige ordered that all the executives were to stay in the conference room and sleep under the tables until further notice. They stayed there for the next few days, with occasional deliveries of food, before being released."

And what happens if you get sent here and want to leave, or quit Scientology?

"The perimeter of the base is closely guarded around the clock. It is ringed with high fences that are topped with spikes and razor wire and monitored by inward-facing motion sensors to detect anyone trying to climb out of the compound. The Tampa Bay Times reported that dozens of workers tried to escape from the base – some of them repeatedly – but were caught and returned by Sea Org "pursuit teams". The escapees are said to have been subjected to isolation, interrogation and punishment on their return to the compound."

Uh, is that legal? Good luck trying to find out. It's all "religious" business and I don't know how this could even be investigated by authorities.

Wow. Just wow.

Hooray for PBS!

I can't stand reality television. It was the first step in the dumbening (Is that how you spell dumbening? Wait, dumbening isn't even a word. Hmmm...) of America. I don't watch much television in general, but when I do I often find myself gravitating to PBS, or, at least, their imported BBC specials like Sherlock. Anyway, it looks like PBS shares my feelings regarding reality television based on a series of new ads mocking reality television, in general, and the portion of the populace that actually watches them, specifically. It started with a series of fake subway poster ads:

And it has since escalated into video parodies:

God bless you, PBS. Never change - except get rid of that horrible American Woodshop show and bring back New Yankee Workshop. Scott Phillips is a hack.

Totally Underated

As I mentioned on a recent post, I have entered the world of streaming home video with arms open wide. One of the big advantages is that it makes it very easy to see a lot of movies that you otherwise might skip. There are a lot of movies I wouldn't buy on DVD or Blu. Video stores are almost gone from existence. Also, Netflix sucks. Redbox is not so bad, but they have a limited selection of new stuff. With streaming, tons of stuff is available for free. If not, you can rent or purchase online (or download for free if you are a filthy cheat stealing from Hollywood).

So I am starting a post to find awesome movies that I may have missed. Think about it like this: are there any movies that you constantly recommend to friends that they probably haven't seen? I find myself doing that with a few. Maybe not masterpieces, but great movies that are must sees. I'll start off with a couple that I love, and if you want to add to the post, go for it. If you can't publish, add a comment, and we can amend the post. Might be cool to get a good list together.

Kick-Ass
This is an unbelievable action flick. What I originally mistook for yet another third-rate comic turned film to cash in on the comic book craze is in fact one of the very best comic book/superhero films out there. You know the glowing surprise in the case from Pulp Fiction that comes up again and again, yet they never show what it is? There is a similar plot device in Kick-Ass - except they do show you, and holy god does the reveal pay off!!! See this movie, and get ready for Kick-Ass 2 this summer!

Primer
Shane Carruth may be a one-hit-wonder filmmaker (Upstream Color was rough), but if Primer is his one hit, he is a success. Without a doubt, the best time-travel movie ever made, period. This one is so realistic, it seems like it could really happen, hell, maybe it has! Half the fun is watching it again and again to try and figure out the multiple timelines. Don't worry. There is a handy info-graphic online that will diagram the whole thing for you if you need a hand. It will blow your mind!

Walk Hard
I love John C. Reilly. He has to be one of the finest actors in Hollywood. Everything he touches turns to gold. Even in the crap movies he's in, he steals the show. This is one of his few turns as a leading man. It beautifully combines his comedic genius and awesome singing voice in this blatant spoof of Walk the Line. I never hear anyone bring this one up, and I think it just got overlooked. This movie makes me laugh out loud repeatedly, and is even funnier if you've seen Walk the Line. Listen to the lyrics of his songs, and look out for Tim Meadows. He has a repeating gag in this one that is brilliant.

King of Kong
Have to agree with Colin on this one. Just a riveting doc about Donkey Kong. That seems ludicrous to type, but it's true. Watch it.

Role Models
So Colin clearly loves Sean William Scott! I'll give him one listing here. I've seen Goon, and it is great. However, I've got to add something that I haven't seen yet! I'll be checking this one out soon.

Where the Hell Do I Aim???

Oh the horror!

I recently stumbled upon a horrifying truth, quite by accident... 

I rarely buy new clothes. In fact, were I not married, I would probably have the same exact clothes in my closet as I had 10 years ago. As it is, one item that I get a lot of wear out of is khaki shorts. I wear them constantly from April through October. Like most guys, I have several pairs in the rotation. After a year of wear, they are perfectly broken in. After 2 years, they start to show their age. After 3, discoloration starts and fraying is close behind. For whatever reason, all my shorts fell apart at the end of last summer. So I searched the stores for a new style of go to khaki shorts.

After much searching (these gotta last for a while) I found the Men's Ultimate ROC Short by Columbia. They are cotton, not the crazy nylon crap a lot of similar shorts are these days. They have a nicely-fitting 9" inseam, and don't extend below the knee. They have useful pockets, but are not cargo style meaning I can dress them up a bit too. They even offer UPF 50 protection from the sun, although most non-nudists don't have too much trouble with butt burns!

However, it's one feature of these shorts that led me to my inadvertent discovery:

• Omni-Shield advanced repellency treatment wards off rain and stains

It's pretty self-explanatory. They are treated to be slightly water repellent. What actually happens is small amounts of water bead up on the fabric. Certainly not water proof. So imagine my surprise the first time I wore them and used a public urinal. I zipped up, walked over to the sink and noticed beads of water on the front of my shorts - urine! Thinking maybe it was an unusual occurrence (more water than usual in the urinal), I wiped them clean and moved on. However, I have come to realize this was not a one-time occurrence. Using a urinal splatters you with piss! 

So now questions are running through my head:

• Is the shorty urinal better than the the taller adult one?
• Is there a specific target I should be aiming for?
• Should I shit-can the whole urinal and use the toilet?
• What the hell happens if there aren't urinal dividers and someone is next to you?
• Can I ever piss in a trough-style latrine at a stadium again?

38 years of life, and only now have I realized this! Damn you Columbia! (But the shorts still totally rock!)