Tagline: In this family, attitude doesn't skip a generation.
The heartwarming - and often hilarious - story of a rambunctious, drug-addicted California teenager (Lindsay Lohan) who seduces/is molested by her father (Cary Elwes), accuses him, gets sent to live with her tough-as-nails grandmother (Jane Fonda) in Idaho over the summer as she awaits trial, gives a Mormon a hummer, tries to seduce her father again, then tries to seduce her alcoholic, drug-addicted mom's (Felicity Huffman) ex-flame. How does it all end? Here's a hint - hijinx and a hug.
In summary, it may beat out Maid in Manhattan as the most disjointed, schizophrenic movie ever made... it's also one of the worst. I know what you're thinking, "Wait just one second, Ian. Slapstick comedy and incest? That sounds like the perfect recipe for Oscar gold!" That's what I thought too! They must have had a bad gaffer or something...
UPDATE: I just saw that The Onion had a Commentary Tracks of the Damned on this same movie this week. I swear I didn't know about this. I just happened to stumble across this movie last night on HBO.
I'm a confessed comic book geek. I've got 5 full boxes of comics in the house from years of collecting. So I can tell you I've really enjoyed the recent renaissance of comic book movies - Spiderman, X-Men, Superman, et al. But in all honesty, none of those hold a torch to Batman Begins, and it starting to sound like that film won't be able to hold a torch to it's sequel, The Dark Knight.
Here's a link to the first full review I've seen over at Rolling Stone - The Dark Knight Review
Everyone's heard about how great Heath Ledger's Joker is, and being a Batman fanboy it'll be nice to see Jack Nicholson's awful rendition forgotten, but what the review above tells is how great everyone else is. I haven't been this excited to see a movie in the theatre in years - not since The Return of the King. Here's hoping that The Dark Knight is as good as billed...
As if you needed another reason to download the latest and greatest Firefox 3, along comes FireNes, a plugin that acts as an NES simulator and allows you to play 1000's of old-school Nintendo games through Firefox!
Have you ever read a Garfield comic and wondered what the conversation really went like, what since cats can't actually talk and all? Well, here's your answer...
There's an entire site out there that removes Garfield from the strip, essentially leaving Jon Arbuckle to his own devices. The result is a look into the life of a very lonely, depressed man. It's also hilarious!
Well ladies and gentlemen mark it on your calendars, June 8, 2008, the date I stopped seriously following the Cincinnati Reds. Now don't get me wrong, I'll check the standings every now and then, and will watch any highlights I come across on SportsCenter, but no more. I used to have RSS feeds for all of the major Reds sites loaded on my browser and would read them throughout the day. I also listened to a fair amount of games on the radio via XM radio. This will all stop now, in fact the RSS feeds have all been deleted. It all boils down to one thing, the Reds just aren't that good, in fact, they haven't been good for 13 years. I could usually fool myself into thinking they could compete at the beginning of every year, but that was just foolish optimism. Yes, they have some good young players, but I have been down this road before. Their major prospects will fail to live up to potential (see Bailey, Homer), and the veterans will get old and fade away (see Griffey, Jr.).
If they ever make the playoffs I will watch and cheer, but I won't be the die hard fan I was recently. I can only stand to have one sports team break my heart year after year, and Notre Dame football holds that coveted position.
SI.com is currently featuring an article on Jimbo Fisher (lackey-in-waiting at Florida St.) that describes him as
"... own[ing] a reputation as one of the nation's finest QB gurus."
Ummm...
Just because a guy holds a position as a quarterbacks coach doesn't necessarily mean he's a "guru". Here's the list of QBs Fisher has coached since arriving at LSU in 2000:
2000: Josh Booty
2001 - 2006: Matt Mauck/Rohan Davey/Rick Clausen/Matt Flynn/JaMarcus Russell/Ryan Perriloux
2007/8: Drew Weatherford
I'd say SI is taking liberties with the whole "guru" title. I mean, that's not exactly a murderer's row of QBs up there. I basically lumped all the LSU QBs together because none was consistent enough to win the job and they were all rotated - something that would point to Fisher most definitely not being a guru. He's basically earned a title based on the 1.5 freak seasons of JaMarcus Russell.
Based on these qualifications, I've tried to guess how SI.com sportswriters might describe Heffernan family members...
Dad - mustache guru
Mom - shopping bargain guru
Ted - magnetic resonance imaging guru, aka "doctor"
Teresa - ability to put up with Kevin for extended durations guru
If you're not sick of the word "guru" at this point and it doesn't sound like some odd, foreign word, something's wrong with you. I think we can all agree that the usage of this word in the sports world is raging out of control. Can't we all just agree to call a horse a horse and ditch the whole "guru" thing?
I will proudly say I am an Old Spice man. In my 33 years of life the only deodorant I have ever used is Old Spice. Sure, every once in a while I had to borrow somebody else's when I ran out at home or forgot it at the gym, but I have never purchased another product. And with Bruce Campbell doing commercials like this, what guy would ever buy anything else?
However, I recently made a product switch within the Old Spice family. Since grade school, I had used the exact same product, but this month, I finally tried something new. You might say it would be crazy to make such a change, but I was kind of forced to. Below, I will document my deodorant usage for all to enjoy. Has anyone else made such a dramatic deodorant change? Did it turn out messy?
Old Spice Classic Deodorant This is the grand daddy of all deodorants, the "Original Round Stick Formula". I started using this bad boy when first needed deodorant - way back at age 4. Actually, I think it was in 4th or 5th grade. Anyway, it is only deodorant. No anti-perspirant. The thing is probably 95% alchohol, and although I have no scientific proof, I think it stops odor by actually killing the sweat glands under your arm pits.
Old Spice High Endurance Deodorant So my beloved Classic is getting harder and harder to find in stores. When I desperately needed some, I was forced to go with the next closest product. Still only a deodorant and with the same Original Scent, I assumed it wouldn't be much of a switch. After using it for a few weeks, I liked it. It actually worked better than the original, which I thought was perfect. It didn't have quite such an obnoxious smell (although that really is part of the charm), and prevented those pesky reapplications before going out at night! Old Spice High Endurance Invisible Solid Fresh of the high of discovering a new and better deodorant, I decided to try another new product. My previous fears of switching were gone. Now I made the leap to an anti-perspirant/deodorant. Still with the Original Scent, this was a deviation from the solid gel the previous two had. It offered an invisible solid. After 1 week, I am hooked. A very light smell with no sign of ever wearing off. With one application, I still smell good the next morning - after I go for a run! I am considering going for the Red Zone, but I don't know how Old Spice could improve upon perfection.
Jay Bruce (finally) made his first Big League appearance last night for the Reds and, man, did he ever look good...
AB
R
H
RBI
BB
K
LOB
Season Avg.
3
2
3
2
2
0
0
1.000
Now, can he keep up the momentum? Looking over the Reds roster lately, they have a ton of young potential - Bruce, Votto, Volquez, Cueto, Bailey, Encarnacion, Janish - that could anchor this team for years. I've got my fingers crossed...
We're a Notre Dame family. That much is certain. Additionally, we rabidly support our football team even when times are tough (2007 still hurts). I know a lot of us read online sources for our fill of ND football news. There are literally hundreds of ND related web sites that deal with everything from recruiting to video archives to history and so on. I usually stick to a few of my favorites like Rivals and Blue-Gray Sky, although I'm sure many of you have your own.
Today I write in support of what I now believe to be hands down the best blog, maybe best website on Notre Dame football, The Rock Report. This site gets 7 to 10 posts every month during the offseason and goes upwards of 30 during the season. The posts are unbelievably well written, and they deal with topics that always drive me crazy. The Rock writes with very clear logic and a fair perspective - much like the media USED TO BE! As a result, I frequently find myself dropping his info into my arguments with all the SEC punks that I deal with on a daily basis!
Here is a recent sample of awesome posts to help explain what I mean. Give these a read, and make sure to add The Rock Report to your bookmarks!!! The first one, Enough, should be nominated for an award.
Enough A response to the media bias against Notre Dame regarding recent "thugs and hoodlums" comment by Weis and the brouhaha over Rutgers and UConn scheduling. Maybe the best summary of my feelings of frustration with ND's portrayal by the media!
Racial Bias and Willingham Another hotbutton topic - racism and Notre Dame. This is one of the most well thought discussions of the Willingham debacle I have read.
Chuck Long on SDSU How many sites have an in depth analysis of our season opening opponent in May???
Jim Leyland is the manager for the Detroit Tigers. The Tigers were picked to win the World Series this year by almost everyone, claiming they had the most imposing lineup in baseball history. Well, true to form, the Tigers are choking right now in last place of the AL Central at 18-27. Also true to form, Jim Leyland had a tirade on tape after being asked if the team lost chemistry when it lost Sean Casey. Casey is a blog favorite, so I had to give it a listen!
Edited and safe for work
However, I had to post about one of my favorite sports interviews of all-time. This one took place when Chris Myers (then with ESPN) interviewed Leyland live on ESPN. Leyland is a big-time smoker and often puffs away in the dugout. Myers asked him about his tendency to smoke in the dugout. Leyland paused for a moment, put his head down and delivered the obligatory platitudes about how bad smoking is for you, how children should avoid smoking, how he knows it's unhealthy. Then he looked directly into the camera, his eyes very wide, and said,
"Still. Smokers out there, you know what I'm talking about. That moment, after you've had a huge meal, say at Thanksgiving, when you step outside in the cold, light up a cigarette and take a deep inhale ... that's about the best moment in the world, you know? All the smokers out there, you know that feeling. Sometimes, smoking is fantastic."
Tagline: In this family, attitude doesn't skip a generation.
