T-minus 10 days

So I was thinking to myself about things I had to do over the next few days and what my work weeks look like coming up, and I realized that I'm taking off two days next week for Bridget's (and Bryan's) wedding. I then immediately said "Holy Crap" out loud. To which my Peruvian colleague working next to me said "Por que vijiste 'Holy Crap'?" Since I had no idea what he said (something about holy crap), I assumed he was asking me why I'd said Holy Crap. To which I told him I'm taking off two days next week for my sister's wedding, and I've got way too much work to get done before then.

Hans Schwarz, my Peruvian colleagued noted above (yeah, I thought he was German,too!), told me not to worry so much, I'm on Nationwide and will have plenty of time. Hans said it right kids. I'm looking forward to this bash for many reasons, but mostly because it's always a good time hanging out with the family, drinking some adult beverages, and seeing the new nieces you guys keep bringing home. (we will note speak of watching Notre Dame, because that it always a fiasco)

However, I'm also quite excited to have Bryan in the family; I'm hoping that there will finally be someone lower on the totem then I and Ian will persecute him instead of me. This is most likely a pipe dream, as Ian and Colin always make fun of me because I don't get offended (I always was the good-natured Heffernan. I was confident in being the best looking, most athletic, and most humble of all the Heffernan boys, so I knew anything Colin and Ian ever said was just their way of venting their jealousy.) Anywho, it will be nice to party to the wee hours of Saturday morning, dancing like fools all night (Ted will have to dance, Ava will make him!), and drinking loads of beer on dad's tab. Thanks in advance, dad! And then after the wedding is done, and everyone goes home, dad can finally start saving up his money for that boat he always wanted (I'm trying not to laugh out loud).

In short, I think it's gonna be a great weekend. We'll get to see each other, be in a wedding, be happy for Bridget and Bryan, and then watch the Reds lose to the Cubs in order to allow the Cubs to win the pennant instead of the Brewers (I hate the Brewers). See you guys in t-minus 10 days!

Smurf Yeah

In honor of this weeks blog poll, I give you the Family Guy Smurf clip.

It's Always Sunny

If you aren't watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" on Thursday nights on FX, you should be. It is quite possibly the funniest show on TV right now. I think if you watch one episode you will know exactly what I am talking about. Do yourself a favor, check it out.

Worst Weekend Ever?

When football season rolls around in the fall, my thoughts obviously turn toward my favorite teams: Notre Dame, the Cincinnati Bengals, and my fantasy team Kneel Before Zod. A great weekend consists of wins by the Irish, Bengals and a fantasy victory. Unfortunately, those weekends are few and far between. More often, one or two of these teams go down in flames. However, usually I can take solace in one of them pulling off the win. This weekend may go down as the worst in football history!

Penn State 31 Notre Dame 10
Let's start off with Notre Dame. Coming off an embarrassing home opener loss to Georgia Tech, we go into Happy Valley and lay another egg. Egg as in ZERO offensive TD's. Yes, after two games, Notre Dame has failed to score a TD on offense. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We go to a desperate Michigan next week, with little hope of success. Michigan has at least scored at TD! Notre Dame has no hope of running the spread attack that has brought the Wolverines to their worst start in school history. I see more tears.

Maineville 88.5 Kneel Before Zod 52.5
My fantasy team is even worse off than Notre Dame. Granted I still have a player left tonight, but I see big problems ahead this season. My "stud" RB Steven Jackson gave me a big 1 point!!! What a joke. Then my #2 RB gets all of 7 points while sharing caries with an overweight has been. This could be a looooong season.

Ravens @ Bengals
I see no hope here as well. Sure the Bengals could salvage the weekend, but I doubt it. The offense has had trouble clicking in preseason - except for Chris Henry who is suspended until Week 10! We go up against a solid Ravens team, with a new RB weapon. Oh yeah, the Bengals defense is no better than the sorry excuse we put on the field last year. I look for a Ravens victory to the tune of 31-10. Sound familiar?

Oh, maybe the weekend could be salvaged by a couple other teams? The Reds dropped 2 straight to the Brewers including a pitcher giving up 3 consecutive homers to start the game. That has to be some kind of record. Yeah, the Saints also got demolished by the Colts, 41-10. I like to call this weekend the dreaded "0-fer".

ND Angst

Is anybody else getting anxious and shaky every time they think about Saturday at 3:30PM ET? I just saw that ND released their depth chart today and I've been reading all kinds of analyses about who's starting where and beautiful crescendo's of speed and balance. I'm getting so excited I had to stop working and write a post!

I'm also very excited about the QB battle. At this point I hope that Demetrius Jones wins the starting nod. Athletic, scrambling QB's in college are so much more dangerous - plus, everything I've read says that Jones has a pretty darn good arm as well. But whether it's Jones, Clausen, or Sharpley, at least I know that if the guys sucks we can go to someone else. How many silent prayers were said last year and the year before every time Brady Quinn took a hit? Depth baby!

I'm going out and buying a flagpole this weekend so I can hang my giant ND flag in front on my house. I'm also going to be sitting on my butt drinking enough beer to calm my nerves for the first game of the ND rebuilding year... er, National Championship run!

Lights!

Camera!

Action!

Requiem

From time to time, we have devoted an infrequent blog entry to Hollywood and some anticipated future releases. Well, I wouldn't be a good Heffernan if I didn't post this one. I have to admit, this caught me by complete surprise. Not only did I not think a sequel to AvP would ever be made, I didn't even know they were working on it!

So what is this little number about? The storyline is still top secret, but it appears to be an Alien outbreak on Earth in the present time. Of course a Predator is around to wreak havoc as well. It is R-rated, unlike AvP, and has been touted as a true horror film. The title was just announced, and the trailer is available for download by following this link at IGN. It hits theaters Christmas 2007. I have to admit, they could release Alien Meets Abbot and Costello and I would still go see it. I think every other Heffernan man probably feels the same way.

I hope to God this movie is every bit as awesome as the trailer indicates. It looks unbelievable. Let me give you the cliff notes version of the badass things I noticed. Check it out for yourself.

• The film is rated R, even the trailer is restricted!
• Old school Alien design, like in the 2nd movie (my favorite design)!
• Predators SLAUGHTERING humans! No more teaming up like in AvP!
• At least 20 deaths in the trailer alone.
• Language even in the trailer.
  
• Michelle Dressler from 24.
  

What smells worse than poo?

Do you like that picture? Most people don't. Pepe LePue aside, I generally think of skunks when I'm driving on the road and experience the fetid scents of rotten eggs and burning rubber. I'm not usually too upset because that's one less skunk in the world.

However, it's a different experience altogether when Pepe LePue is living with his wife in your backyard. Yup, that's right, my wonderful new house has got skunks in the back yard. They come out every night at around 8:30-9PM, and wander around my backyard looking for food. I've wrapped up all my garbage and other easily edible dietary supplements, but apparently skunks eat bugs too, of which I can't easily rid my yard.

So I'm working on finding an exterminator. "Skunk hunt!" doesn't have quite the same appeal as "'Coon hunt!" once did. Rabies doesn't show on the outside, but you can smell a skunk from a mile away, so I'll take the expense and hire Dwight the exterminator to "remove" those damned skunks. But I'll price it out, because if it's cheaper to get that crossbow I've always talked about, maybe I'll make a little investment.

That's Daddy's School

Just in time for the upcoming Notre Dame football season (39 days to kickoff and counting), Ava has figured out who she needs to be rooting for. Let me tell you a little story. Last week, I was loading Molly and Ava into my car to go to the store. I loaded Molly first, and as usual had Ava wait next to me before I loaded her. While loading Molly, I heard Ava clearly saying something that didn't register at first. Then I asked her what she just said. As clear as an adult she said "Go Irish!"

Not only did she say "Go Irish," she also did the standard fist pump cheer!!! I cannot tell you how amazed I was. Upon closer inspection, this wasn't just a spontaneous cheer. She saw my ND alumni sticker on the car window with the interlocking ND logo! She obviously recognized it and did her cheer!

First off, I am definitely not a crazy ND dad (yet). I have never tried to coerce Ava into saying Go Irish, or any other ND phrases. In fact, I don't ever recall ever saying that to her. Second, Ava has outgrown almost all of her ND gear (hint hint), so she doesn't see the logos much. Third, Ali also is amazed and obviously isn't practicing secret ND cheers! My best guess is that she notices my shirts and may have remembered some of the baby propaganda from last year (My First ND Book or the Baby ND DVD).

In any case, the proud ND papa now presents his daughter cheering for "Daddy's School." Please excuse the video being sideways. I couldn't figure out how to rotate it after I recorded on my still camera.

Simpsonize Me

Not that I want this to turn into a lame Hollywood blog, but I have another movie-themed post tonight. This time, it centers around the marketing genius around The Simpsons Movie. This long-anticipated movie comes out this month after yet another marketing blitz geared toward packing the theaters on opening weekend.

However, The Simpsons have one of the most ingenious schemes ever. You can simpsonize yourself online!!! Try this website, Simpsonize Me. Armed with a head shot of yourself, a quick upload will allow you to recreate yourself in true Simpsons form! Without further ado, I present to you...

Dr. Ted

Well done Burger King, well done!

More Than Meets The Eye

So this week opens yet another summer blockbuster. Michael Bay is unleashing Transformers upon us all! As a long-time Transformers fan, I felt compelled to make a brief blog post on this one. First, let me just say I am a huge Transformers fan. As a kid, I owned just about every Autobot they sold in stores. Conversely, Ian owned just about every Decepticon. We would still have them had someone not "lost them" (that's code for giving them away to some other kid without asking Ian or I).

This movie is going to be great! I plan on seeing this movie as soon as I am able. It is pretty tough these days getting to the movies with 2 youngsters! But before anyone goes, please get into the right frame of mind. It's Transformers - a movie about living robots from outer space who can mimic human machines. There really isn't anything beyond this very basic plot - TOTAL MAYHEM AND DESTRUCTION! That's why Bay was perfect for this movie! Please don't bash this movie for having no plot. It's not supposed to! Also, please don't bash this movie because it wasn't "true to the cartoon." You may not remember the cartoon clearly if you think it was all that great. I'll leave you with a little quote from a great website I read. This perfectly summarizes the old Transformers cartoon.

"Fans of the original television series will recall there were essentially two possible plots to any Transformers episode. Plot one involved the Decepticons discovering a new way to make Energon Cubes, forcing the Autobots to have to stop them. And plot two involved the Autobots finding a new way to generate Energon Cubes, causing the Decepticons to try and stop them, forcing the Autobots to have to stop them from stopping them. Each episode ended with a melee which involved the same recycled shots of Transformers seemingly floating in midair while their blasters fired repeatedly. The Decepticons would run off with their tails between their legs – and if for some reason the Autobots were having a hard time stopping them, they would turn to their new recruit, a Transformer we'd never seen or heard from before but was, fortunately for us, available in stores that very week, who would aid in chasing the Decepticons off with their tails between their legs. In a word, it was FUCKING AWESOME!"